Episode 61
Friday, 10 February 2023
Star Trek: The Next Generation
Series 1, Episode 8
Stardate: 41255.6
First broadcast on Monday, 9 November 1987
Together at last for the first time, Joe and Nathan find themselves on Planet of the Horny but Unattractive White People, faced with a moral dilemmma that wouldn’t challenge a slow-witted five-year-old. Ah, we have fun, don’t we?
Episode 60
Monday, 30 January 2023
Star Trek: Lower Decks
Series 3, Episode 2
Stardate: Unknown (2381)
First broadcast on Thursday, 1 September 2022
A game of Bat’leths & BiHnuchs takes a surprising turn, as Mariner and Boimler make some very important decisions: Mariner is going to be less insubordinate, while Boimler is going to boldly take opportunities he has never taken before. But soon Mariner finds herself ignoring Ransom’s orders and plummeting from an orbital platform to save her crewmates, while Boimler plays some springball, joins a Bajoran dirge choir, models nude for a figure painting class, and is finally hunted through the ship by a monster for sport. And we all learn a valuable lesson, except Boimler, who learns a stupid one.
Episode 59
Friday, 20 January 2023
Star Trek: Voyager
Series 3, Episode 18
Stardate: 50693.2
First broadcast on Wednesday, 19 February 1997
Flushed with the success of its previous attempt at Gothic Horror, Star Trek gamely tackles the genre again, as the Doctor’s experiments with the parameters of his program inevitably lead to a high-concept holographic version of The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, with all of the creepiness towards women that that implies. Aggressively mediocre.
Episode 58
Friday, 13 January 2023
Star Trek: Enterprise
Series 4, Episodes 20–21
Stardate: Unknown (2155)
First broadcast on Friday, 6 May 2005
and Friday, 13 May 2005
Enterprise is reaching the end of the long road that brought them from there to here, and before we say a final goodbye, we’ve just got enough time to foil a charmless racist demagogue who wants to destroy our future — a future based on co-operation, openmindedness and mutual respect. It’s just like the present day, really, only the good guys win. Oh, and Trip gets to punch a racist in the face.
Episode 57
Friday, 6 January 2023
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Series 4, Episode 3
Stardate: Unknown (2372–2450)
First broadcast on Monday, 9 October 1995
It’s life, Jake. You can miss it if you don’t open your eyes.
Star Trek takes a break from space nonsense to remind us what grief is like: lonely, lifelong and bleak. The price we pay for love.
Episode 56
Friday, 30 December 2022
Star Trek: Lower Decks
Series 2, Episode 4
Stardate: 58036.4
First broadcast on Thursday, 2 September 2021
This week, Star Trek: Lower Decks does what it does best: plumbing the depths of the franchise’s weirdest moments to produce something fun, entertaining, and sympathetic to its ideals. Which is why we get to root for some underappreciated and frequently mispronounced alien monsters, and why those two beautiful nerdy men, Boimler and Rutherford, get to save the day not with violence, but with a PowerPoint presentation and some maths.
Episode 55
Friday, 23 December 2022
Star Trek Movie #7
Stardate: 48632.4
Release date: 1994
Star Trek: Generations is a Christmas movie, but more than that, it’s the moment when Star Trek: The Next Generation makes its first tentative and ultimately unsuccessful step into the venerable movie franchise. Julian Bashir’s crazy uncle has a horrific plan to get to heaven by killing a bunch of people we don’t see and don’t care about, and can only be stopped by two middle-aged white guys clambering over some gantries or something. Oh, and the Enterprise crashes and the whole crew is killed. Happy holidays, everyone!
Episode 54
Friday, 16 December 2022
Star Trek: The Next Generation
Series 2, Episode 19
Stardate: 42859.2
First broadcast on Monday, 19 June 1989
Our writers are on strike this week, and so we’re just going to mark time until we reach the end of this blurb. When an uncomfortably horny Lwaxana Troi beams aboard the Enterprise, a series of events happen, culminating at last in the episode’s closing credits. Mick Fleetwood guest stars as a fish.
Episode 53
Friday, 9 December 2022
Star Trek: The Original Series
Series 2, Episode 15
Stardate: 4523.3
First broadcast on Friday, 29 December 1967
In one of the best episodes in Star Trek history, our show learns very early on that it can shoot for ridiculous and hit funny and entertaining. What more can we say? It’s brilliant.
Episode 52
Friday, 2 December 2022
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Series 3, Episode 5
Stardate: Unknown (2371)
First broadcast on Saturday, 24 December 1994
Stardate 46519.1: Surgically altered to appear Romulan, Marina Sirtis wakes up on board the Romulan Warbird Khazara looking as fabulous as she has ever looked and starts threatening an increasingly cowed Carolyn Seymour. The result — one hell of an enjoyable episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation.
Eighteen months later: Surgically altered to appear Cardassian, Nana Visitor wakes up on Cardassia Prime looking incredibly striking, but her rich backstory, the show’s increasingly involved premise, and her willingness to just go for it as an actor — all of these combine to make one hell of an enjoyable and satisfying episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.