The Masterpiece Society

Episode 66

Friday, 26 May 2023

Deanna and a young man are standing in a garden in front of a window looking out onto a hostile alien landscape. They are kissing.

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Series 5, Episode 13

Stardate: 45470.1

First broadcast on Monday, 10 February 1992

This week, the Enterprise crew worry unnecessarily about upending the lives of people living under a weird-ass conservative regime, only to find that those people are desperate to get out and there is no good reason at all to prevent them. Also, Deanna has sex, with unfortunate results.

Duration: 1:08:07 · Recorded on Tuesday, 16 May 2023 · Download · Open in new window

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Wolf in the Fold

Episode 65

Friday, 19 May 2023

A dazed Scotty looks in horror at the knife which is being held out in front of him.

Star Trek: The Original Series

Series 2, Episode 14

Stardate: 3614.9

First broadcast on Friday, 22 December 1967

When simple, mild-mannered lackwit Montgomery Scott (James Doohan) stabs three women to death in the space of a couple of hours, the crew of the Enterprise become suspicious enough to start an investigation, which mostly consists of getting Majel Barrett to read them a bunch of Wikipedia articles. But just as we’re all about to nod off, someone claims responsibility for the murders — beloved childhood plaything Piglet (John Fielder), who immediately inputs himself into the ship’s computer and attempts to generate terror by making a series of increasingly unimaginative violent threats. Understandably, the crew respond to all this by taking a bunch of drugs and waiting for the closing credits to kick in. Which is how we recommend that you respond to this episode as well.

Duration: 1:10:46 · Recorded on Tuesday, 9 May 2023 · Download · Open in new window

Star Trek: The Original Series

Scorpion / Scorpion, Part II

Episode 64

Friday, 12 May 2023

Seven of Nine stands in Voyager's cargo bay. None of her implants have been removed yet: her skin is mottled, tubes come from her bare skull, and her left eye has been replaced by a spiky Borg sensor.

Star Trek: Voyager

Series 3, Episode 26 / Series 4, Episode 1

Stardate: 50984.3

First broadcast on Wednesday, 21 May 1997
and Wednesday, 3 September 1997

As Voyager approaches the end of its third year, it’s time for its very own version of The Best of Both Worlds. And here it is, complete with a massive encounter with the Borg, clouds of débris, a terrifying new enemy, dissension among the commanding officers, and the unveiling of an entirely new kind of human—Borg hybrid. But because it’s Voyager, there’s also people doing things for no reason and a central conflict disposed of in an unsatisfying way. But (again) because it’s Voyager, there’s some great weird visuals, a cool new holodeck program, and yet another arresting performance from the Queen of Star Trek, Her Royal Highness, Captain Kathryn Janeway.

Duration: 2:00:37 · Recorded on Tuesday, 2 May 2023 · Download · Open in new window

Star Trek: Voyager


Episode 63

Friday, 5 May 2023

A closeup of Kira, her mouth rigid with determination, standing in front of a burning cottage.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

Series 1, Episode 15

Stardate: 46844.3

First broadcast on Sunday, 9 May 1993

This week, Kira moves a few steps forward on her long and problematic journey from terrorist to bureaucrat as she struggles with a decision to evict Brian Keith from a hastily re-dressed Standard Cave Set 1. In the meantime, Jake and Nog do some adorable capitalism, foreshadowing just how much we’re going to grow to love them by the end of the show.

Duration: 1:05:48 · Recorded on Tuesday, 25 April 2023 · Download · Open in new window

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

The Elysian Kingdom

Episode 62

Friday, 28 April 2023

In an Enterprise corridor full of foliage, Dr M'Benge is dressed in a crown and royal robes. He is talking to someone off camera. Behind him is Ortegas dressed as a knight, Chapel dressed as a hippie witch woman, and La'an in a big princess frock carrying a small fluffy dog.

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds

Series 1, Episode 8

Stardate: 2341.6

First broadcast on Thursday, 23 June 2022

A long time ago in a land far, far away, a beneficent king called Alex ruled over the kingdom of Trek, deciding which provinces would prosper and what each province would be known for. And so it came to pass that in the Province of Strange New Worlds, fun and entertainment would hold sway, and that from time to time even a heartwarming ending would be welcomed. And they all lived happily ever after, even the ones who had died.

(Warning, some spoilers here for Picard Series 3.)

Duration: 1:24:30 · Recorded on Saturday, 22 April 2023 · Download · Open in new window

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds


Episode 61

Friday, 10 February 2023

One of the Edo, a scantily-clad man with an exposed belly-button and a completely tucked dick, is standing between Yar and Troi. Yar appears to  be looking off camera at her agent, wordlessly pleading with him to get her out of this stupid show. Troi is looking disdainfully at him.

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Series 1, Episode 8

Stardate: 41255.6

First broadcast on Monday, 9 November 1987

Together at last for the first time, Joe and Nathan find themselves on Planet of the Horny but Unattractive White People, faced with a moral dilemmma that wouldn’t challenge a slow-witted five-year-old. Ah, we have fun, don’t we?

Duration: 1:10:16 · Recorded on Friday, 10 February 2023 · Download · Open in new window

Star Trek: The Next Generation

The Least Dangerous Game

Episode 60

Monday, 30 January 2023

In a corridor on the USS Cerritos, Boimler is lying on the floor with war paint on his face, a bowl on his head, and a spear through his left shoulder. Kneeling but still looming over him is a huge and terrifying monster with pointed teeth and a formidable array of weapons strapped to his back.

Star Trek: Lower Decks

Series 3, Episode 2

Stardate: Unknown (2381)

First broadcast on Thursday, 1 September 2022

A game of Bat’leths & BiHnuchs takes a surprising turn, as Mariner and Boimler make some very important decisions: Mariner is going to be less insubordinate, while Boimler is going to boldly take opportunities he has never taken before. But soon Mariner finds herself ignoring Ransom’s orders and plummeting from an orbital platform to save her crewmates, while Boimler plays some springball, joins a Bajoran dirge choir, models nude for a figure painting class, and is finally hunted through the ship by a monster for sport. And we all learn a valuable lesson, except Boimler, who learns a stupid one.

Duration: 0:45:45 · Recorded on Monday, 30 January 2023 · Download · Open in new window

Star Trek: Lower Decks


Episode 59

Friday, 20 January 2023

Kes and the Doctor are standing in a tavern on an alien planet: Kes looks at the Doctor in horror: he is a bestial version of himself, a hunch, tousled hair and terrible teeth.

Star Trek: Voyager

Series 3, Episode 18

Stardate: 50693.2

First broadcast on Wednesday, 19 February 1997

Flushed with the success of its previous attempt at Gothic Horror, Star Trek gamely tackles the genre again, as the Doctor’s experiments with the parameters of his program inevitably lead to a high-concept holographic version of The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, with all of the creepiness towards women that that implies. Aggressively mediocre.

Duration: 1:07:23 · Recorded on Monday, 16 January 2023 · Download · Open in new window

Star Trek: Voyager

Demons / Terra Prime

Episode 58

Friday, 13 January 2023

T'Pol is looking at someone off-screen. She looks dirty and tired, and she is holding a small baby in her arms.

Star Trek: Enterprise

Series 4, Episodes 20–21

Stardate: Unknown (2155)

First broadcast on Friday, 6 May 2005
and Friday, 13 May 2005

Enterprise is reaching the end of the long road that brought them from there to here, and before we say a final goodbye, we’ve just got enough time to foil a charmless racist demagogue who wants to destroy our future — a future based on co-operation, openmindedness and mutual respect. It’s just like the present day, really, only the good guys win. Oh, and Trip gets to punch a racist in the face.

Duration: 1:44:38 · Recorded on Tuesday, 10 January 2023 · Download · Open in new window

Star Trek: Enterprise

The Visitor

Episode 57

Friday, 6 January 2023

The older Jake (Tony Todd) looks up at his father with tears in his eyes.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

Series 4, Episode 3

Stardate: Unknown (2372–2450)

First broadcast on Monday, 9 October 1995

It’s life, Jake. You can miss it if you don’t open your eyes.

Star Trek takes a break from space nonsense to remind us what grief is like: lonely, lifelong and bleak. The price we pay for love.

Duration: 1:13:04 · Recorded on Thursday, 29 December 2022 · Download · Open in new window

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine