The crew of the USS Discovery are really settling down and starting to enjoy their new life in the 32nd century — fixing some butterflies’ GPS network, giving a commencement speech to some socially-distanced Starfleet Academy students, and fixing the unexpected and alarming angular velocity of a Federation space station. Then suddenly an unimaginable tragedy strikes.
Data is excited to get a new puppy and understandably miffed when Riker decides to explode it in order to solve this week’s space problem. Back on Earth, Nathan is delighted by the story’s optimism and sheer nerdery, while Joe remains sceptical.
Opinions are split on this week’s Untitled Star Trek Project, with Nathan leading the prosecution and Joe the defence. Will Nathan sentence Death Wish to be imprisoned a comet, subsisting only on a rare form of Nogatch hemlock? Or will Joe prevail with the argument that at least it’s Voyager trying to have something to say and giving John DeLancie a new thing to do?
This week, a mathematically perfect recurring villain gets her own episode of Star Trek, and we discover how much fun the show can be without all that relentless moralising, just moments before we also discover how much fun it is to watch a villain get her comeuppance while some dunderheaded bird people shake off the dead shackles of a stupid tradition.
In hoc episodio, cum nautae astronavis Enterprise ad Urbem Aeternam pervenissent, brevi tempore magister Kirk amicos suos in harena certantes spectavit, passerem garo elixum gustavit, ancillam formosissimam futuit, postremo festinanter discessit. Sed dum navem solvit, cognoscit se testem fuisse novam religionem pacis ac fraternitatis oriri.
This week, Deep Space Nine does the best that it can with a slasher horror premise involving four redshirts and some murderous Cardassians, including beloved secondary character, plain, simple Garak. Fortunately, no one suffers any long-term ill-effects — except for the people who are no longer around to complain, I suppose.
First broadcast on Friday 22 April 2005
and Friday 29 April 2005
The finish line is in sight this week for Star Trek: Enterprise, and so it’s time to throw out the rulebook and have some fun for a change, with a preposterous farrago of fan service that remembers at least that one of our most important jobs is to be enjoyable and entertaining. T’Pol starts wearing a miniskirt and Archer drinks some poisoned champagne, and, frankly, we couldn’t possibly be happier.
As private parts to the gods are we! They play with us for their sport!
Lord Melchett, Blackadder II: Chains
A defrocked god appears on the bridge of the USS Enterprise and wanders around being much more fun than anyone else aboard. (Apart from Whoopi Goldberg, obviously. And maybe Brent this week.) A solid outing from TNG’s Imperial Phase.
Star Trek: Prodigy is here for a second season, bringing our crew back together and sending them off on an epic mission aboard the USS Voyager. It’s Star Trek: Voyager as you’ve never seen it before, but it would be cruel of us to say why. (Hint: we both think it’s really good.) Also appearing: the two best Roberts, which is quite exciting.
This week, Deep Space Nine serves up a Star Trek: The Next Generation episode, in which a respected female character undertakes an ill-advised heterosexual romance with a creepy and unattractive white guy, which makes her look like an idiot. Meanwhile, over in the B-plot, Quark and Jeffrey Coombs try to get hold of some deepfake celebrity porn of Nana Visitor.
