Tensions are running high this week, as the Enterprise is attacked by a series of regular geometric solids and the bridge crew’s morale starts to crack under the pressure. Is this a ropey and glacially paced moment of disposable 60s TV, or the beginning of something indescribably magical?
When a metal box containing seven strange creatures lands outside his village, gentle giant Oleg (Buck Maffei) leaves a pregnant wife and an ailing mother in his humble yurt and trudges off to present the creatures with his people’s traditional gift of welcome — a set of giant novelty spears. This simple act of hospitality is met with violence, and soon matters escalate despite Oleg’s repeated attempts to appease the newcomers’ anger — giving one an affectionate hug, offering the others his precious polystyrene boulder, and finally trying to hold down the box when the wind threatens to blow it away. A heartrending story of faith and hope in the face of indifference and cruelty. Five stars.
A nameless and unknowable monster which has destroyed whole star systems and wiped out an entire Starfleet crew is now heading towards the most populated part of the galaxy. The only things standing in its way: a dramatic soundtrack, a memorable guest actor, an incredibly confident production, and William Alan Shatner. It doesn’t stand a chance.
When simple, mild-mannered lackwit Montgomery Scott (James Doohan) stabs three women to death in the space of a couple of hours, the crew of the Enterprise become suspicious enough to start an investigation, which mostly consists of getting Majel Barrett to read them a bunch of Wikipedia articles. But just as we’re all about to nod off, someone claims responsibility for the murders — beloved childhood plaything Piglet (John Fielder), who immediately inputs himself into the ship’s computer and attempts to generate terror by making a series of increasingly unimaginative violent threats. Understandably, the crew respond to all this by taking a bunch of drugs and waiting for the closing credits to kick in. Which is how we recommend that you respond to this episode as well.
It’s the pilot of a thrilling new spy-fi series, in which Gary Seven (Robert Lansing), his plucky secretary Miss Lincoln (Teri Garr), and his cat Isis (herself) hang out in the twentieth century’s most stylish decade, drinking cocktails after lunch and occasionally foiling America’s military–industrial complex. Is it time for us to end our trek through the stars so that we can complete an assignment here on earth?
A young woman wearing fabulous boots materialises on the Enterprise, renders the crew unconscious, and then removes Spock’s brain. And soon we discover — to our horror — that everyone else involved in making this episode has had their brain removed as well.
The crew of the Enterprise find themselves in a weird and beautifully directed simulacrum of Tombstone, Arizona with a couple of hours to kill before their certain death at the hands of Wyatt Earp’s gang of off-puttingly ugly cowboys. Meanwhile, we all learn a valuable lesson about why Star Trek is superior to real TV westerns. A classic.