Star Trek: The Original Series

When the Enterprise takes on board an inexplicably touchy and unreasonable box of flashing lights dangling from a fishing line, hilarity ensues. Also, racism.

A nameless and unknowable monster which has destroyed whole star systems and wiped out an entire Starfleet crew is now heading towards the most populated part of the galaxy. The only things standing in its way: a dramatic soundtrack, a memorable guest actor, an incredibly confident production, and William Alan Shatner. It doesn’t stand a chance.

A few tense moments this week, as a fragrant dikironium vampire kills a bunch of redshirts before threatening some characters with names and ultimately the Enterprise itself. But the real suspense comes from an entirely different direction: Will this episode teeter over the edge of camp into baffling semicompetence? Will Kirk’s obsession turn him from a jovial and beloved authority figure into a massive idiot? Will any cue from the Star Trek music library go unused? (No, no and no, fortunately.)

When simple, mild-mannered lackwit Montgomery Scott (James Doohan) stabs three women to death in the space of a couple of hours, the crew of the Enterprise become suspicious enough to start an investigation, which mostly consists of getting Majel Barrett to read them a bunch of Wikipedia articles. But just as we’re all about to nod off, someone claims responsibility for the murders — beloved childhood plaything Piglet (John Fielder), who immediately inputs himself into the ship’s computer and attempts to generate terror by making a series of increasingly unimaginative violent threats. Understandably, the crew respond to all this by taking a bunch of drugs and waiting for the closing credits to kick in. Which is how we recommend that you respond to this episode as well.

In one of the best episodes in Star Trek history, our show learns very early on that it can shoot for ridiculous and hit funny and entertaining. What more can we say? It’s brilliant.