Star Trek: The Next Generation

Justice

Episode 61

Friday, 10 February 2023

One of the Edo, a scantily-clad man with an exposed belly-button and a completely tucked dick, is standing between Yar and Troi. Yar appears to  be looking off camera at her agent, wordlessly pleading with him to get her out of this stupid show. Troi is looking disdainfully at him.

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Series 1, Episode 8

Stardate: 41255.6

First broadcast on Monday, 9 November 1987

Together at last for the first time, Joe and Nathan find themselves on Planet of the Horny but Unattractive White People, faced with a moral dilemmma that wouldn’t challenge a slow-witted five-year-old. Ah, we have fun, don’t we?

Duration: 1:10:16 · Recorded on Friday, 10 February 2023 · Download · Open in new window

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Manhunt

Episode 54

Friday, 16 December 2022

Lwaxana is sitting at the dinner table in her quarters, staring fixedly at Data, who is talking to her very boringly. Picard is sitting with them. In the background, Mr Homn  yawns ostentatiously.

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Series 2, Episode 19

Stardate: 42859.2

First broadcast on Monday, 19 June 1989

Our writers are on strike this week, and so we’re just going to mark time until we reach the end of this blurb. When an uncomfortably horny Lwaxana Troi beams aboard the Enterprise, a series of events happen, culminating at last in the episode’s closing credits. Mick Fleetwood guest stars as a fish.

Duration: 1:13:43 · Recorded on Monday, 5 December 2022 · Download · Open in new window

Star Trek: The Next Generation

The Price

Episode 82

Friday, 22 September 2023

Beverly and Deanna are in a gym on the Enterprise standing in front of a mirrored wall. They are doing stretching exercises, dressed in the most horrendous sparkly leotards imaginable.

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Series 3, Episode 8

Stardate: 43385.6

First broadcast on Monday, 13 November 1989

Comfort food this week, as Star Trek: The Next Generation tries and fails to create a romantic comedy about an exciting new space wormhole. Deanna learns a valuable lesson about the dangers of enjoying herself, some Ferengi learn an urgent lesson about paying attention to their GPS, and the rest of us learn a timely lesson about straight, white American men in the late 1980s. We still have fun though.

Duration: 1:07:35 · Recorded on Tuesday, 19 September 2023 · Download · Open in new window

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Yesterday’s Enterprise

Episode 1

Thursday, 4 November 2021

Lt. Yar and Lt. Castillo go in for a kiss on the transporter pad.

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Series 3, Episode 15

Stardate: 43625.2

First broadcast on Monday, 19 February 1990

After the Enterprise-C emerges from a mysteriously swirly space anomaly, Joe and Nathan find themselves in an alternate timeline where Star Trek: The Next Generation is dramatically and impractically lit, full of incident, and sceptical about the 1990s belief in the End of History. Star Trek: Discovery Series 1 arrives nearly 30 years too early, in Yesterday’s Enterprise.

Duration: 1:00:01 · Recorded on Tuesday, 21 September 2021 · Download · Open in new window

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Remember Me

Episode 77

Friday, 18 August 2023

Beverly is sitting at ops on the bridge of the Enterprise. The red  alert lights are flashing. She is staring straight ahead, very intently.

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Series 4, Episode 5

Stardate: 44161.2

First broadcast on Monday, 22 October 1990

In this week’s episode of Likeable and Competent People Solving Space Problems, Beverly finds herself in a shrinking universe from which her loved ones are disappearing one by one, while Nathan and Joe (who inhabit a very similar universe) find a version of Star Trek capable of inspiring a lifelong obsession and, ultimately, an untitled podcast project.

Duration: 1:05:47 · Recorded on Tuesday, 15 August 2023 · Download · Open in new window

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Reunion

Episode 93

Friday, 12 January 2024

In the Enterprise day care centre, a talk Klingon woman with long dark hair is kneeling down to say goodbye to her son, a little Klingon boy. Her face is close to his, and she has her hand on his chest.  She's saying goodbye.

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Series 4, Episode 7

Stardate: 44246.3

First broadcast on Monday, 5 November 1990

After just over a season of reliable and competent, this week, Star Trek: The Next Generation goes for dramatic and surprising — with amazing results: a memorable epsiode full of good performances and the sort of direction that lets those performances shine. One of the best.

Duration: 1:05:03 · Recorded on Wednesday, 10 January 2024 · Download · Open in new window

Star Trek: The Next Generation

The Wounded

Episode 38

Friday, 22 July 2022

Gul Macet looms on the screen of the Enterprise, his fierce look only marred by a weird harness thing he is wearing on his face.

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Series 4, Episode 12

Stardate: 44429.6

First broadcast on Monday, 28 January 1991

Our Irish lad to the war has gone
On the deck of the Phoenix you’ll find him.
He’s got a song that goes on and on
And a sad backstory behind him.

Marc Alaimo’s here in a silly hat
He’s missed some bits while sha-a-ving.
And Captain Maxwell has shown us that
He’s a dick and he isn’t worth saving.

Duration: 1:09:06 · Recorded on Thursday, 21 July 2022 · Download · Open in new window

Star Trek: The Next Generation

The Host

Episode 75

Friday, 28 July 2023

Dr Crusher is in the turbolift with a handsome man with a lot of latex on his forehead and 90s-era romance novel  cover hair. They are both looking at us with goofy expressions on their faces.

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Series 4, Episode 23

Stardate: 44821.3

First broadcast on Monday, 13 May 1991

Star Trek: The Next Generation makes another ill-judged attempt at romance this week, as Beverly Crusher has an eventful two-week relationship with an alien ambassador, Commander Riker, and an attractive young woman, who are all somehow the same person. It all goes as well as you would expect in a series where every episode returns reliably to the status quo before the credits roll.

(Warning: after the closing credits, there are some incidental spoilers for Strange New Worlds Series 2, Episode 7, Those Old Scientists.)

Duration: 1:25:43 · Recorded on Tuesday, 25 July 2023 · Download · Open in new window

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Darmok

Episode 49

Friday, 21 October 2022

On a sunny and grassy Californian hillside, Captain Picard is facing the Tamarian Captain Dathon. Dathon is smiling: Picard has clearly understood something.

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Series 5, Episode 2

Stardate: 45047.2

First broadcast on Monday, 30 September 1991

They were victorious. But Enkidu fell to the ground, struck down by the gods. And Gilgamesh wept bitter tears, saying, “He who was my companion, through adventure and hardship, is gone forever.”

Now this is what Star Trek is about — kind, competent people solving a space problem, while learning about the importance of storytelling, connection and understanding. Magnificent.

Duration: 1:04:27 · Recorded on Friday, 14 October 2022 · Download · Open in new window

Star Trek: The Next Generation

A Matter of Time

Episode 97

Friday, 9 February 2024

We are in a small shuttle, made to look futuristic with rainbow-coloured holographic wallpaer. A balding man with a big chin is pointing a phaser at Commander Data, who is completely unperturbed.

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Series 5, Episode 9

Stardate: 45349.1

First broadcast on Monday, 18 November 1991

The absence of Robin Williams and the presence of Rick Berman are both keenly felt this week, as a normal day at the office for the Enterprise-D becomes merely a mildly diverting day at the office. The cause: an elegantly named time-travelling confidence trickster, who nicks a bunch of stuff so he can put it on eBay and pretends that everything here is much more thrilling than it actually is. Let’s say three-and-a-half stars, but two of those stars are for Marina Sirtis’s performance.

Duration: 1:03:54 · Recorded on Tuesday, 6 February 2024 · Download · Open in new window

Star Trek: The Next Generation