Together at last for the first time, Joe and Nathan find themselves on Planet of the Horny but Unattractive White People, faced with a moral dilemmma that wouldn’t challenge a slow-witted five-year-old. Ah, we have fun, don’t we?
Our writers are on strike this week, and so we’re just going to mark time until we reach the end of this blurb. When an uncomfortably horny Lwaxana Troi beams aboard the Enterprise, a series of events happen, culminating at last in the episode’s closing credits. Mick Fleetwood guest stars as a fish.
After the Enterprise-C emerges from a mysteriously swirly space anomaly, Joe and Nathan find themselves in an alternate timeline where Star Trek: The Next Generation is dramatically and impractically lit, full of incident, and sceptical about the 1990s belief in the End of History. Star Trek: Discovery Series 1 arrives nearly 30 years too early, in Yesterday’s Enterprise.
This week, the Enterprise crew worry unnecessarily about upending the lives of people living under a weird-ass conservative regime, only to find that those people are desperate to get out and there is no good reason at all to prevent them. Also, Deanna has sex, with unfortunate results.
This week, on Untitled Star Trek Project, Joe and Nathan sit down to watch a sentimental sci-fi favourite from their youth, only to discover that it’s really just a police procedural where some of the regular cast get to do funny voices. Still, they get to see Marina menacing people with a gun, so there’s that, I guess.
First broadcast on Monday, 21 June 1993
and Monday, 20 September 1993
After their critically acclaimed attack on Earth on Stardate 44001.4, the Borg are back with a terrifying new plan — to pad out the the running time of the Star Trek: The Next Generation Series 6 finale and Series 7 opener. Meanwhile, Deanna is amused by Data’s porn consumption, Nathan is impressed by Beverly’s approach to command, and Joe is distracted by the memory of much more enjoyable Star Trek episodes.
This week, Star Trek takes its first ill-judged stab at the Gothic romance genre. Will Beverly fall for her dead grandmother’s lover (sorry), a rangily unattractive anaphasic ghost who encourages her to give up her job and to stand by helplessly while he attacks her friends? Or will she learn a valuable lesson about not dating sociopathic men? (Temporarily and no respectively, it turns out.)
After seven years of thorny space problems and some of the most ingenious space solutions in Starfleet history, what do we have left to learn? Something about tachyon scans and anti-time, inevitably, but also something about the enduring power of love and friendship. Let’s see what’s in here.