The Price

Hey, Joe. Hi. So, we are back in Star Trek, the Next Generation territory, and this is its imperial stage, isn't it? It's season three. and we're about a 3rd of the way through with episode eight. It's the price and it's... I've seen this recently, you know. Yes. So what was the one? It was the masterpiece society when we were doing the masterpiece society, which was super boring. And then you got another Deanna romance episode. And one of the things that struck me all the way through this is that it's super weird to give these characters romance episodes because we just know it's not going to go anywhere. And you think about the romance episodes and they're all kind of a bit awful. They're all dreadful in all sorts of ways, aren't they? The only time they dare to give them romances that could potentially have consequences is when the show is ending in 5 episodes time. And like you said, they don't have to deal with it. Yeah. Well, I mean, and that's too regulars. That's not just this person who comes on for the week and who we know won't be there next week and so we know from the outset that this is doomed. And so it's kind of hard to know what's going on. I think the successful one for me is lessons with Australia's Wendy Hughes falling in love with Picard. I think that's not too bad, but probably in retrospect if I watch it now, I would decide it was terrible. Yeah, I was really trying very hard because I did name a couple didn't I? And then you were going, yeah, but then all next gen. Yeah, I'm really, really hard to think of next gen romances that actually work. I don't think... I mean, don't you remember the dolphin from season two? Oh, God. Wesley Crusher and Seleo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she turns into some various nylon monsters and stuff. It's really shockingly bad. I think the real romance in that story is between Wharf and Anya. Yes. She's being great, actually. Oh, do you know what? I've just thought of one that actually, it's not really kind of done as a big romance, but they've got great chemistry and that's Wesley and Robin Leffler. Yeah, Ashley Judd. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That is pretty good, actually. But again, that's not the focus of the episode, is it? Is it true what they say about your birthmark? She gets great, Mark. Yeah. Yeah, but I don't know. I mean, I think the guy in this episode, so his name is Raal is such a creep. I know. And I really think that, you know, he should be punched in the face all the time. And there's this sort of obsession with the idea that the women shouldn't have jobs if they have relationships. So we've seen both Ronan and Odan express the wish for Beverly to quit her job and kind of run off with them. And then here there's this sort of weird thing about Deanna's job. But I don't know. I don't know what it is. Why do the men get attractive people to sleep within their romance episodes? I want to talk about the horrific, the perfect mate, which has at least Famke Yansen in it for Picard to kind of moon over and she's beautiful? But this guy's a massive creeper. And he just reminds me of Adam Scott in the good place. The demon called Trevor, who kept telling women that they weren't smiling enough and stuff. You know, he's such a creep. He's so awful. You think they think he's smooth? Yeah, yeah. Well, then there's something going very wrong here. Yeah, yeah. I don't know what it is. It looks like like the script credit, is the script credit go to a woman? I think we should keep an eye out for it, but I got the impression that this was written by a woman. I mean, I did like the fact that Troy cuts loose a little bit in this episode. Because like you say, she's normally such a good girl. And here she's throwing shade at Captain Picard. She's ordering up as many chocolate ghettoes as she can get her hands on, ignoring her mother's hails and oiling up a man in her free time. I mean, she's having some fun. But I think she does learn a valuable lesson about not to do that is probably the problem with it, I think. The other thing is that I think that this flirts with being funny but absolutely kind of shies away from it. On the page. I think this is quite funny in places. I think in execution. And you're right. You said to me off my, it's in the performance half the time, that they just, they're not relaxed enough to let the laughs go, you know? And a few years later, I think they would be. You know, this is series three. This is the 1st time the show is really kind of consistently getting it right. And they're still so stiff. They're such space people. And like compare this to the annual Spock sex comedy on Strange New Worlds, where they use Star Trek's high concept stuff to create ludicrous premises to embarrass Spock with. And both of those episodes work really well and are genuinely properly funny in all sorts of ways. But this only just kind of goes up to the brink of being funny and then shies away from it. But you know what the trouble is here is obviously TNG's come along and it is trying to push away from, you know, the ridiculousness of the original series, why they would feel the need to do that. I have no idea. And then they put out 2 seasons of the next generation, which are in many ways, far more ridiculous than the original series, ever was, because they're trying to be very serious about things that are completely absurd. And now we're in series three. Michael Piller's coming in and Berman as well. and they're, and they are trying to smooth out the show, but they've still got this incredible bug up their bar about not having fun. Yeah. So even when they're trying to have fun, they're sort of pushing against having fun. So that's a weird mix. Because, I mean, this kind of works as a romantic comedy in a way because you've got this guy going around and he's kind of pulling all these quick ones on all of the other delegates and stuff. But everything is so kind of serious. I don't know. I don't know. We'll see as it goes I think. At what point did we get to, I don't know, I'll choose a lineup of a hat. Garak, an old man Bashir. If I was you, doctor, I'd grab a bottle of champagne and shoot me you know, at what point did they start to just relax and let themselves have fun? Well, I don't think it ever really properly happens on Star Trek the Next Generation, although it's getting a bit more relaxed and a little bit more kind of normal by the end of the show's run. I think Marina, you know, what the trouble with Voyager is, is they get so relaxing. moves on into cringe. Yeah, oh, no, I think Voyagers always create into all of that sort of dialogue is just hugely embarrassing. I can't wait till we get one of those, you know, absolute duds. But I think Marina really kind of lands it in 1st contact when she gets drunk. Yeah, and from then on, they kind of go, actually, Marina's really fun and funny. Why don't we let Deanna just be more like her. And that really works. Unfortunately, there's not more... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but that's good. Let's just let Marina go on the set and make up her lines. Look, she's pissed. Now, get a get a filmer now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I reckon that there are lines here that she could have played like that. And she never does. Like there's the lure of being a good girl. She has to be a good girl for the show. And so she doesn't get to be naughty. And even that final line of hers. So the guy says, oh, you could be my conscience and I'm a bad man and I need reforming and blah, blah, blah. And she says, actually, I already have a job as a ship's counsellor, you know, but she doesn't make that land, you know that she doesn't make that gag land. And it could be funny. She never. We've always been saying about these people are their job. So to give her the line, she just goes, you know, sort of proud. I'm a counsellor. You know, whereas what you bother to say to him is, oh, fuck off. Go on. Yeah, but what she is saying is, you're asking me to be your counsellor. Like I've already got a job as a counsellor. Thanks. You know, like I'm not going to have a relationship with a man who I have to counsel all the time. You can just get sassy enough. No, shame that. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. I'm trying to think what Dax would have said to this fella. Yeah, yeah. See, I think romances are things that the show should do. And I think for a show that has had a kind of male following and romance is, you know, has historically overwhelmingly been a female interest, I think it's important that that sort of stuff gets done. But I do think it's embarrassing the way that Star Trek, the Next Generation, does it with the women being kind of a bit passive and the men being incredible creeps. And I say one thing positive, though, before we go in. Yeah, and that is, even though it doesn't quite land, I really appreciate the spotlight on Marina Surtis and Troy, because that's something that TNG don't get right a lot of the time, you know there's some, a lot of episodes where she gets 2 lines or it doesn't feature, you know, Counsellor Troy has gone off in a shuttlecraft or something for the episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So just having an episode centred on Troy and just letting her relax a little bit is a massive positive. But also, I said to you off bike, this is so tricked by the numbers. We've got a wormhole over here. crazy looking little bomarian alien occurring over here. There's negotiations, the Ferengia being sleeves bags, you know and it's so comfortable to watch this. I don't really very good. Okay, a great deal. No, but it's fun. Enjoyable next generation, just because we had so much of this and we loved it at the time. Yeah, yeah. I think it's an easy watch, despite the fact a lot of it is cringe. Yeah, I don't think we were wrong to love it. I think it is really fun and it does all the Star Trek things and it has, you know, it's not funny, but it does have a kind of lower decks vibe. This is the version of Star Trek that Lower Decks is making fun of most of the time. I think it's I really like it. Well, you know what? I also, I love lower decks making fun of it because that's hilarious. But then I love the material they're making fun of as well. It's win-win. Yeah. No, well, they they feel the same way, I think. Well, let's go and win. should we? Yeah, we should. Okay. All right. I'll count us in. Five, four, three, two, one, and we're off. Do you know what, right? I was so excited to watch this, the time you told me we had to watch the masterpiece society. I was like I cannot wait to talk about this episode. Okay, so this is her coming in. She's had a long day offering counselling services to the crew. Yeah, so I'm trying to work out what her through line is. Is her through line here that she's a bit sick of her job, or she's a bit sick of everyone. She feels a bit beleaguered and it's kind of funny. She's got these letters from her mother and that reaction is really funny and kind of her being a bit naughty. You got to remember, right? These people on the Enterprise have to spend their entire day pretending like they're happy with these boring jobs that they've got. So this is the one chance they've got to whinge about it and she's listened to that all day. Yeah, and now she wants a chocolate sundae and the computer's telling her, no, that's unhealthy. You can't have it, which I think is pretty great. And like Deanna wants chocolate is like the most kind of basic character trait. Do you know what I mean? This is... That's the only character trait that she's got. That's exactly it. We returned to it. Mind you, there is that sequence. in the episode where she's eating the one in 10 forward and she's almost having orgasm over it. She's describing the ritual of eating the chocolate. Well, then doesn't Riker say, should I leave the 2 of you alone? You know? No, he goes, he goes, it sounds almost romantic and she looks at him, goes in the eye, goes, Chocolate is a very serious business. But I love this. I love this thing where she says, I'm not really dressed for a reception. And Picard's line is so hilariously uncharacteristic. just throw anything on. That's funny. Like, what is he saying? It's sexist line number one. It's so... It's so not him. Oh, counsellor, just throw any out. But I also really like Riker and her together as they walk in. Like this episode needs to establish that they're close friends and that like 10 seconds really sells it, I think. I think I think actually this does some nice things with their relationship because she's with this dreadful bloke. But also, like, I was... Watching this, I was thinking about Kursman Trek and where they end up and all of this run of Next Generation now gives context to that relationship and where it comes up. So thank you, Kurtzman Trek, for taking these crumbs that we had for these 7 years and making something of it. You made a cake out of it. Well done. Yeah, yeah. So this guy, so here is Raal. and he has most incredible eyes. I know. It's the most amazing thing about it, Mike. Yeah. And I kind of like, because remember, so is this your Beaumarian guy? Both of them, both of them. One's got an enormous head that looks like a butt. And the woman's got a hair that has been crimped within an inch of its life. So she's a barzan and they, uh, you know, so none, obviously from Discovery, uh, series 2, we actually saw her in the episode that we did recently recently. Oh here we go. What's that fellow at Barzan in series one, you know, where he's at the academy with Wesley? No, no, no, because he's got that he's got that blue head, doesn't he? He's got... that he's... Whiskey smoke coming out of his thing. Yeah, yeah. So she has that because she can't breathe air, like normal air because her planet is, and that's why they need someone else to run the wormhole. So all of that sort of setup. Like, I think that setup is actually quite good. And so clearly do the people who are spinning off Deep Space 9 because from this, we get the idea of a stable wormhole and of the Gamma Quadrant and the Delta Quadrant. This is the 1st time we've actually properly talked about quadrants. They go through, don't they? And he goes, no, this isn't the gamma quadrant. This is the Del Quadrant. And I don't think anybody expected there to be a sequel to this episode. in series 3 of Voyager, False Prophets. Yeah. set up on some ditsy alien planet and they're gods placing the life out of them. I mean, it's quite fun. It is like an old TOS episode, actually. Right, right. I have seen it, obviously, but I can't remember it all that well. But it is the same actors, is it? They get Dr. Arador and what's his face? Yes, okay. And Ethan Philip gets a chance to don Ferengi makeup again and pretend to be... The grand proxy. That's it. Oh, I'm just such a ridiculous franchise. I love it. But I mean, that like all of that stuff is incredibly fun. And so we have the enterprise is this place where all of these different groups are trying to kind of, what bid for the right to oh, they're buying it, aren't they? They're bidding for the right to kind of run it. I just don't think the negotiations themselves and the games that Ra is playing are particularly interesting. That's the trouble. Well, they all seem to suggest he's just great psychologist and he's done amazing moves. And I was like, no, really. He just said to him, well, you know, I'll offer you a bit of money. You give me your things and then I'll, you know, win over Riker. Yeah, I mean, each time he manages to discover something about them that informs the way that he approaches it. I think. So there is something there, but it's just not very interesting and you have to be clever. I think, to write a clever person and we perhaps don't have that here. Since we have 2 aliens here on the bow moss scale. I'm going to ask you now, please, if you can break them both. Okay, so I think that the Barzan is probably a 6 or a 7. It's pretty standard. And in fact, it's only the crimping hair, which isn't a particularly alien thing. It's just a period thing. It is pretty shockingly bad. But I think she's just a seven. Oh, look, I think he's a solid 9.8, that guy. That whore... Like he, I'm going to knock off about .3 because he has 3 fingers on each hand, but he has massive rings on the fingers, I think. That enormous head. It's a huge butt head. I mean, do you think he had to sort of bend down to get through those low doors? I don't know. It is pretty terrible. The writer of this episode is Hannah Louise Shearer. So the sexist lions came from a woman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, so in here, the Frankie. And this, actually, see this, I actually think this is funny. And Western chairs. Star Trek funny. Do you know what I mean? Star Trek the Next Generation funny. But their obsession with chairs, and then the way that Picard diffuses it is kind of funny, and you can have my chair. Like I think that's pretty great. Do you know what the trouble is? We were talking about humour earlier. is they don't trust you to get the joke the 1st time. So we do this chair thing 3 times and then there's the punchline. Later on, there's a scene between, and it is quite funny between Geordie and data when they're in a shuttlecraft and Geordie goes oh, Jesus Christ, I could end up stuck in here for the rest of my life. And that's the funny part. And then Data has to say, oh, don't worry, Geordie. I'll be here with you as well. And I'm like, you couldn't have trusted us to get that, you know? No, that's it. I think that they're not comic writers, so they're not very good at writing funny material. And they're not very good at directing it either. And I think there are some cuts between scenes that are supposed to be funny, but they don't they don't last comedies for TNG is raw more. raw more tapestry. And that's a very funny episode. Yeah, yeah. Is there a gene luck picket here? Actually, can I say about the Ferengi in the next generation? Because I think DSI did come along and completely revolutionised the race, but and very often the Ferengi are utterly one, though they're not funny in the next generation. No, I think these guys actually do work. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think so too. I love this too. This is so TV, isn't it? It's kind of like, oh, I thought you were thinking about me and she goes, oh, no, not really, but of course she was, you know Googling him just before he walked in. She was Facebook stalking robles and shit, you know. Ambassadorial Facebook. Look terrible, isn't it? non-confrontational counsellor said. It's got sort of pink pastels on a screen, isn't it? Yeah, but then green. I just sort of think, what are we doing? What are you doing? I think the most exciting colour in this set is Rao's eyes. Yeah, although I am giving, I think it's pretty close between that and Deanna's lipstick in this scene is pretty great. Circular sort of plate on the wall there. That's a decoration. That's a picture. don't know. It looks like, you know, you know those pictures you used to have when you could sort of scrape sand across some ink? Yeah, but I think there's other ones of those on the Enterprise. I think that's not the only one. The thing is, it's supposed to be this luxury shit, right? Honest to God, the materials that they've made this out. It looks like a good sneeze would set it all off, doesn't it? I thought it was impressive at the time. So... This is super creepy and weird. Like, what's this? And like, look how tense she is. Like, it's really unpleasant. Like, she's not... Once upon a time, I was sitting in a cafe in Brian, yeah. And a fella popped up on Grinder and went, can you feel this? And he blew on my back. He was literally behind me. He was blowing in my ear in the middle of a cafe. So I was a bit like Troy at the scene, very tense, but very turned on. So I kind of get it, all right? So yeah, no, this is like, this is incredibly creepy. And and he is doing the thing that he does with all the other delegates as well. Do you know what I mean? We saw in the 1st scene that Deanna feels like she never escapes the responsibilities of being counselorant like it's a mum and it's the wormhole and she can't have any ice cream because the computer tells her not to and all of that. And so that's what he goes straight for in order to get to her. And so like, is he kind of, is he creeping on her? Is he just like, is this some gross kind of seduction community thing happening? Watching that scene there where he was sort of messing up her hair in a really obscene way. Without the dialogue or without hearing them saying the words, it really looked like quite unpleasant. Like she was going through something unpleasant, even though I think at the dialogue, she's going, hmm, you know, really enjoying it. Yeah, yeah. The body language is suggesting something else. Yeah, yeah. I mean, part of the problem is that, uh, you know, Star Trek, as I've said before, doesn't do subtext and people just come out and say exactly how they're feeling about things and they don't talk like normal people. They talk like space people. And so he just comes across as a kind of creeper. I think. Do you remember when, sorry, anyway, I jump about the place. Do you remember when Dax got sick to death of Wolf, not noticing her? So she goes to him, look, Grooker and Quark. They're on the same page and at least he notices her and he looks at her like, what are you talking about? And then she just goes, oh, computer, give me a bat lift and beats the shit out of him. And I'm like, finally, you know, we're diving it all completely spelled out. Sometimes they do stop text. Not often. It's worth celebrating when they do. Not in next gen, though, particularly, you know. Is it a case of finding their feet, though, sort of? Or is it just... they haven't bothered? Yeah, I think so. But I actually like this too. I know it's shitty, but the captain says, you know, the Federation could find themselves buying a proverbial lemon and data just turns and says a proverbial lemon because you just think that's what's that? And he goes later data, which I just think like we characterised data that way. I think that that's a kind of funny and very efficient way of just doing that. I think it's true. That absolutely is a trope of next gen of someone saying something a data saying, well, what does that mean? You know? But then usually the episode, like, in series one, he would be walking around with a lemon, you know, going, I'm really trying to figure out what's proverbial about it. Also, the other thing is too, because Pecan's a space person, he can't actually say the Federation could end up buying a lemon. you know what I mean? Because that's what people say. And so he has to say a proverbial lemon as well. And so I like data hanging a hat on that. So here are the... baffling is how... Ferengi are always characterised as being incredibly misogynistic. And It's commented on all the time by the regulars of various shows who are also behaving, you know, generally misogynistic way. As exemplified by this episode. Meanwhile, he is Raal. Counsellor Troy, just throw any old thing on is a very sexist line you know? Yeah, yeah. Look, where is? What is he wearing? Is it? Very 91. It's really bad. isn't it? And you, hers isn't too much, but she's got this sort of blue cocktail dress going here. Very strange. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I don't mind. But I'll just say something very weird. What's that? You don't like seeing straight people kiss on telly? I definitely don't like seeing that. No. I don't realise seeing gay people go. not seeing much kissing, if I'm honest. There's too much hair going on here. I realise we're just out of the 80s. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she's letting her hair down as well because normally it's art for the job. I don't know who is drinking champagne out of those glasses. That an atrocity. They're clearly plastic goblets. Oh, I did like this line where she says, no, it's moving too fast for me. I'm moving too fast for me. Oh, that's it, yeah, sorry. Yeah, I'm moving, trust me. Yeah. Yeah. So she's acknowledging, but this is not her usual pattern of behaviour. Like, it would be fun if we thought this was fun. Do you know what I mean? If like he was having his end away and it didn't kind of matter and she was too and like she's been exhausted by work and she thinks he's hot and she goes, yeah, let's fucking we'll then get on with our lives. But this Star Trek can't do that. And although it wants to, do you know what I mean? And where it hints at it, I think, is Riker's lack of jealousy about Raal. Well, I mean, it's clearly sort of bubbling under, but it's never explicitly stated, yeah. No, I think there's that one moment where he just smiles and says you know, if you, you know, like, and he's honest. I think that it is the fact that he's he's absolutely lacking in jealousy about this because he trusts her to do what's right for her and he's known her for long enough. And I thought that was good. Yeah, we go. doing some acting. Mendoza's doing some poison acting. But you know what, where I figured this episode was going when I watched it when we did the masterpiece society, was that he was using Troy as a way of diverting Riker. I figured that was all part of his plan. And what it turned out was it? No, he just he has fallen for her and he wants to drag her around the universe with him. Yeah, yeah. And well, I mean, he's he's come on to Troy in the last scene. Riker's only being made one of the ambassadors in this scene. So it's clearly not a ploy. But they're happy to make him an asshole. That would have been like the ultimate arshole move, wouldn't it? Yeah, yeah. Is he doing it so that she doesn't spring him? I think he's doing it because he's horny. Well, I think he is too, but there is that sort of cute line about oh, I think, you know, maybe my human side overwhelmed, my human desires overwhelmed my beta Zoid instincts, and they both say that at different times in the episode. I don't know. So you look at the walls here. I have actually recently been installing carpet on my walls. I sort of walk past and stroke it, you know? It's classic 24th century design. So classic, it's been seen recently in 2023. Oh, was that? Dr. Bev's only seen there. Just sort of looking over a bit worrying. Taking out by a mysterious ailment number one. Who could possibly be behind this? Who could? Well, he just is the Fringi for the Fringi immediately. And so, Riker, this is Riker. standing in for an indisposed ambassador before he does it again in the host. way he carries himself. I mean, he's all man, isn't he? Look at his swagger as he walks down this corridor. His shoulders back, his arms swing, his limbs are all very loose. He's really something. I mean, I love frakes. I love Jonathan Frakes so much and we still have him and he, you know, like he's like a grandfather to the franchise now. He's still directing. Sorry to interrupt you. Did you see at the back of the bridge set there? Somebody was wearing one of the old series 2 uniforms? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're still doing that in series three. So it takes a while to rotate those uniforms off and so there are a few of those on bit players. And in fact, it seems to be that in, because those uniforms are just from last year, aren't they? So they don't replace them all straight away. It does take a little while. They're a vast improvement, I think. No one can act in Spandex. tiny little shuttle set that they're a. I mean, by the time we get to DS night, It's like a house, you know Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they've built that, though. Like that sets the little... I love the little Ferengi pod. I think it's adorable. I can't help but notice that the bars are wormhole looks like one of their stock planets with a hole in the middle. With a hole in the middle. But look at the look at the wibbly things inside it. You know, this is a forerunner of what we're going to see on Deep Space Nine. This just goes to show you the difference between your standard Star Trek budget, which is what this episode has, and the £18000000 that they had, sorry, dollars, for emissary when they did the worm role in that. And I mean, they use that effect over and over again, don't they? I mean, once they realise it in the computer, they've got it. I mean, it is pretty good. Oh it's great. It should. Yeah. This stuff just look like they are going sort of through a gay disco. There's lots of sort of sporty lights. It is very heavily made up in this scene, I think, Raal. But yes, they are really going for one another, aren't they? And so this is the thing too. So he's detected that she is anxious about, oh my god, look at her makeup. Okay, look at the chrysalians, mate. I know. I know. That is exactly the sort of makeup, but when Kate Mulgrove said they were testing us, all right, our acting abilities to act alongside these people. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, holy crap. I love this too. So the proposal, benefits to the people of Barsan Planetary Republic, the Barsanian planet. So this is the Federation proposal, and they've stayed up all night producing these sort of 7 bullet points under 2 headings, one two, oh, no, it's, it's, uh, it's 8 under that 1st hand. I can't bear this scene. Oh, there is. You don't like feed, and I don't, you know, like I don't mind. I don't mind my feet being touched, but I don't want to see some woman having a feet all gross. It could be the 1st thing we've seen, you know, in our run so far. Well, we did see Dr. Fox cutting his own toenails, though. I don't know, though. It was gross. I didn't think that was a particularly gross. Like, like, I'm not, you know, like I'm not, it was squeamish or anything, but I thought that was absolutely unsexy and utterly gross. They are being sensual with each other here. Why isn't this sexy? Because it's he's horrible. I don't know. She picks up the bottle in a minute and starts moving it, all the oil over his chest, you know? It's as gross as anything. Why is it so gross? I can't get over. But can I say one thing to you? Yeah. La, la, la, la, la, la, la. What is going on? It's dreadful, bad. The music is so cheesy. I hear if ever I'm reading a Mills and Boone, you know? Yeah, no, but like I, you know, like I am someone who actually likes romance. Do you know what I mean? Like, obviously not straight romance. We've had more than enough of that. But, like, I... But, you know, like, I'd like it as a genre. I think it's fun and like I think romantic comedy is really fun. And I wish that this version of Star Trek could do it, but all of the sex it does, like, fuck me, why is she doing that on my show? And like, like... Oh, horrible. It's it's even worse than the weird creepy horniness of Gene Roddenbury in series one and two. And it's now strange because this is too consenting adults not behaving in a bad way in wearing a lot of makeup. Neither of them are looking at their most attractive. When I 1st saw you, I felt I had been waiting for you. my whole life. It is trying. Yeah, Beth Bart. Like, they're just having a fuck, you know, like, why does it have to be like this? Well, you just shove it in already. Let's just get rid of it. Come on. Let's eat some more chocolate and then watch telly and then have more sex. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's just nothing really like anything that anyone has actually enjoyed, I think. In fact, you know what? Sorry to keep bringing in my personal life. Every time I've tried doing this, you know, candles and oil and things like that. It's just never as good as just having sex. Just have sex. Ridiculous. It's just ridiculous. It's not about his family. Do you know what I mean? Well, she's like, don't do that. She must be frothing. I was like, I'm so sorry. It's really gross. Yeah. I've learned to live with my telepathy as you have. And the music is playing throughout this entire season. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lots of knowing, sort of longing looks at each other. I mean, ooh, look at her cushions as well. I don't look comfortable. They don't. No, they really don't. They're space portions. Nothing's worse than those triangular cushions in DS9. They look so uncomfortable. You'd need about 15 just to get your head locked up. Oh god, I wasn't realising I needed my telepathy until I met you Deanna. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. She's getting on top. Do you remember that shit? straddling him. No, she's moving over and decorously. They're just going in for the hug. Oh, thank God, a wormhole. I've never been so grateful. I've never been so grateful for techno babble in Star Trek. That's why it's the tiny set because it's on gimbals. Like they're actually literally moving the set around rather than moving the cameras around. That's adorable. Look at that. The crazy coloured lights that were going on as well. Yeah, it's really fun. That's awesome. You know what? I bet LeVar Burton and Brett Spider looked at each other whilst this was all going on going, how did our careers come to this? No, I reckon they're going, this is so much fun. We get to ride in this thing. paid for this. It's adorable. Oh, shy. Oh, this is where that line is. Yeah, I could be stuck here forever. Oh, don't worry, Geordie. I'll be here with you. Yeah, no, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, and even the 70 years thing in Voyager. Do you know what I mean? Like at 70 or 80 years before? those Ferengi are going to, you know, they're going to run into those Ferengi and stuff. So even having that a galaxy of that scale, like this is the scale of the galaxy, it takes 70 years to get from one quadrant to another. Well, I do have to say that during a Deanna Troy romance episode, I never really thought that Data and Geordie were going to be stranded across the universe. Like I always knew they would get home. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. But I kind of like... Nathan, here we go. Oh, here we go. Ad break. Oh, see. That, oh, look at that. Her bum. Okay. So this scene, is this the scene that was famously written because the 2 women were not getting on? Oh, that right? Well, I thought I remembered that there was one of these scenes. So these scenes are not that common in Star Trek. The Next Generation. But a scene where they both talk about their love lives. Oh, Nathan. Yeah. So I said last week it was episode one, but it's episode 2 of series 4 of Lower Decks, where Shacks and Ransom are doing this set of exercises in these outfits. It is on board the Sarita. Including this thing where they're kind of facing one another with their legs out, kind of stretching each other. It's just like, what, you do with a child? You know, when you do sort of row, row? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Back and forth, what is this? What sort of exercising is this? I don't know. Can I say something really, really bad? What's that? Well, that is so tight. I can see that Gates McFadden has not shaved for this episode. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. camel toe here, but I actually like... I actually like this. The thing that Gate says, the thing that Beverly says, which is, oh I had a relationship like that. I fell in love immediately, it lasted a week. It was really hot. And I just sort of think, yep, okay, that's what we want. Oh, Frankie, that long? And then, did you see it? Yeah, I did. And then the woman walks off. I mean, once again, I'm like, thank God we're doing dick jokes. And then he goes up to her and tries the same thing. The next woman comes along and he's about to do the same thing. I mean, there's nothing sophisticated about that humour, but it's not really like Star Trek, is it? Well, that's what I think that's what's funny about it. I think that the reason that that's funny is that it's so un Star Trek. You know, just watching this as a series of images. This may be the most scariest episode I've watched here. That leotard was going straight up. I don't even want to say. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They just don't care, do they? terrible, isn't it? So again, see, he goes right for the thing we start to see it. And look, the camera moves on him. He's looking like an all-American boy. He looks sounds sympathetic. You know, the cameras are moving close in. Like all of that stuff that could actually have been kind of funny and that cut. That sudden cut away from that speech into this guy saying he doesn't want to buy the wormhole anymore. And that's clearly a comedy jump card, isn't it? in the script? That's surely what it is. But they can't commit to it. No, because they can't commit to it. And it's... No, I can't help but notice you and I are generally laughing at all the things they're getting wrong here. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But I just don't think I just I think that this could have been funnier. I think like I said earlier, on the page, it kind of works. Yeah. They're just not relaxed enough to... I think that it as it should. I refuse to believe that any species would develop with that cranium. Big head. Maybe they run into one another or something is part of a mating ritual. They just kind of smash heads together. So that's it. has now taken out the chrysanthemums or whatever they're called. Yes. Um, and so it's just, it's just Riker left now to, to bid for crimp hairs. I'm getting desperate now. She's a the Bazan wormhole. Crim hair's wormhole, yeah. Yeah. Those shuttles do look a little like eggboxes at this point. Yeah, yeah, they're tiny, aren't they? There are bigger shuttles in series one and two, but I think the fact, I think the reason this is a shuttle pod rather than a shuttle craft is because they're mounting it on gimbals and so they're really doing the thing. Savvy movie this episode is having 3 things happening. The Troy romance, the negotiations, and this, the other father, the worm up, you know. of them up, particularly Stella. But it means we're going we're constantly distracted as we're going from story. And, you know, like series 2 of Star Trek fails, I think, because most of the episodes are shit. But series 2 of Star Trek, Star Trek, the Next Generation. Yeah. But it, um, like it does this, it does the, a thing is happening and we're just basically spending time with the crew while the thing happens. And so this isn't a particularly urgent thing. Like there's no crisis in this. The closest that we get to any danger is that we might be stranded on the other side of the galaxy and that happens to the Ferengi and that's basically why they're here. And it's kind of a fun comedy kind of ending or would be if anyone involved in this knew how to make things funny. Like, even that reaction, do you know, Dr. Arador's reaction to the wormhole disappearing is supposed to be a thing. Yeah, so now what's happening in this in this scene? What's happening here? Again, it's too obvious, isn't it? He's going, oh, there's the wormhole, just where I expected it to be, and then we just sit on his face for ages while she does some comedy shock. Oh no, it's gone. Yeah, because we can't we can't really be properly funny. It looks like he's been to a spa now. He's got a sort of white robe. Yeah, with his hairy chest out. Yeah. I mean, I like that. What was she wearing? It's not that but he's gross. Yeah, but she's kind of wearing a sort of, I'm not going to let you touch my breasts again dress. Don't you think? It's a little bit. It's a little bit, it's a little, she's kind of gone off him already. And so she's wearing the, she's not wearing a sort of, he's my giant col- day colitage sort of dress, but she's wearing, like, and she's being a bit, I don't know. I just don't know how to read this because it doesn't work with glassware and candles. I know, what's that as well? is to suggest a sense of sort of sensuality. I don't know. It's just weird. No, but they're all, like, why are they sitting like 6 metres away from one another and stuff? You know, like they're across this table. You know, this, like, I actually think that he makes a reasonable point. Like, I'm a negotiator. I work out what people want. I sense an advantage, I go in and do it. I'm just doing that. Do you know what I mean? It doesn't seem that bad. Um, and then so this seems like a kind of manufactured argument like a manufactured thing. And the other thing that I like about. He is a telepath, yeah. And he's using it to an advantage within the role that he's, what is wrong with that? She's condemning him because... Oh, she's wrong. Because he doesn't declare that he's a telegraph telegraph. I meant to say that. A telepath. She, he won't admit it, so he thinks she thinks it's an unfair advantage. But then his point lands. It's like, oh so do you tell the Romulan? Do you know what I mean? That it's an unfair advantage? And it's watching... next to the captain on the bridge. Yeah, that's right. But, you know, she kind of makes the point, well, this is life and death and the other one's money. Do you know what I mean? I'm keeping my crew safe and you're just trying to make more money. And I guess, okay, maybe that land, so maybe this conversation does actually work, but from a character point of view, it's like super weird. Like now they're all pissing with each other for no reason. Because they keep coming back to this well of her being a bit uncomfortable with her telepathic side and the fact that she's half human, half-based side. Do they? No, no, they do. They never mention that. Whenever the waxana Troy comes along, she's talking to her telepathically, and she goes, you know, talk with your human voice mother, you know. Yeah, yeah. But none of it coheres. It never goes anywhere and we never land on what her issue is. But I mean, it's just something they bring up to make her a bit more interesting every now and again. Like this conversation here. Part of the problem is that this conversation needs to be about their relationship under the guise of them having a disagreement about work, doesn't it? Yes. Like, they're, yeah. Do you know what I mean? But instead they're having a conversation about work that doesn't work out, like so it's not a romance. Like it's not working. We don't know why they're suddenly shitty with one another. Like she's there when, like, I don't know. Like, I don't know. I just don't, she's not been listening to the, to the, was she in the observation lounge when the negotiations were happening? So like I just don't get it. I don't get it. I think we needed a moment of tension in the episode. That's the entire reason why. And that's why it feels false because it comes out of nothing. Yeah, but we have to break them up as well. Do you know what I mean? Like she now has to be in the position where she's going to out him, you know, and be prepared to out him. So she's already got the sheets with him and she thinks he's not playing fair. And then we get him actually doing, you know, staging this stupid thing and her revealing it and potentially ruining his career although that doesn't happen, apparently. You know, I don't know. I want is for Dr. Beverly in that sequence where they were in those fabulous leotards to say to her, is Deanna, you are in an episode of Star Trek, the Next Generation. He is not hanging to go anywhere. He's not hanging around and you're going to be miserable at the end, so just fuck him a lot for the next 45 minutes, all right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's the problem, isn't it? They can't do that for all of their talk about being modern in 24th century. They can't portray people just having sex for recreation. That was a good line. Sorry to interrupt. What was that? My relationship with Deanna is doing pretty well on its own. Thank you very much. It's just basically saying butt out of that. You enjoy it all you want, but I've got my own relationship with her. But I love his smile. Like the thing where he says the thing. Do you know what I mean? And the whole idea is that he's good at negotiating and this is part of his thing, he's actually trying to get some edge in the negotiation and then he smiles and says, that's the 1st bad play I've seen you make. And it's kind of like, I'm not jealous of her because, you know, we loved one another and now we're friends and that's how things are. So, didn't we? Do you remember where she was at it? Was it the masterpiece society where he's just given her a look? And smile, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he plays it as pissy in one beat, one shot, I think. But I like this. I like this. And it's like he wins. He wins this thing and we've only ever seen Raal win and I think that's really good too. And he's not the folks. the scene. In our new Kurtzman trick where they bring back everyone and anyone. You know, even that punk from Star Trek 4 of making that appearance. Bring back Ra for series 3 of Picard. And just because he just said to him there, you could have had Deanna, you know, if you'd only given her enough attention and got in for the kill, you know. And just bring back Raw and Riker goes to him, you know, I got her in here. That's right. You smug arsehole, you know. Oh, there's Michael Dorm in his makeup for his one line at the security console. Yeah, yeah, poor bastard. Five hours of makeup for this. Oh my god. You got to wonder, you know, when they 1st have the fringy makeup put on, what those actors think. I mean, I think it's good makeup. It's great. They must be like, what's happened to me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is very strange, isn't it? I'm just a wasting Star Trek Strange. I'm claustrophobic. So I cannot imagine being encased in that much latex. No, and not be, because, no, I'm assuming that says that they can't hear properly, you know? Right, right. Very, very weird. It was it was certainly a choice in 90s trek to put that much latex on the screen, wasn't it? And there's not as much in Kurtzman Trek, is there? Is there? It's different. The makeup is sort of quite different. They brought in all of these very sexy actors. They're not going to hide them away. No. Yeah. And I think bringing back people like the Andorians and the like people who are just blue or like the Orians, they're just green but people. Like, I think that's a good choice. I did just this week, pick up the Buffy Monster book, and it does detail in a series of 10 pictures. Doug Jones having his gentleman mace up. from beginning to end because I recognise his face straight away and I consider that a sort of rehearsal for his time of Saru in Discovery. I mean, that is a lot of latex on Saru, isn't it? It's good makeup, though. I think it's really good makeup. I like him. jacket mouth. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But it works really well. You still get the actor's performance properly. It doesn't hamper him, even though hardly any of them is visible. It's pretty great. Oh my god, did you see the subtitles then? It said door whoosh is open. Someone's earning their money there. I watched the episode on Paramount Plus last night and like they were getting all of the subtitles wrong. They kept saying betazoid wrong and stuff. They seem to be doing a better job here on whatever it is I'm watching now. I can't even tell. I'm watching on Netflix currently. I'm surprised you're still on Netflix. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, here we go. Here's our big climax to the episode. Yeah, but they're all just sort of standing around. Do you know what I mean? It's really not that exciting. Do you remember when the Ferengi 1st appeared and it's just like half the guy's face in the, is it Armin Shimmerman? The 1st big Ferengi thing? No. The last Outpost. Yeah. Yeah, it is yeah. Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah. Because he says in he says in the interviews. That's why I was desperate to do cork. I was so embarrassed by that performance. I want to redeem myself. But he does the good job of the Bajoran gift box thing in Haven which is him as well. you say that dialogue there? I mean, he goes on behalf of the chrysanthemums. to do business with the Ferengi for the Bartam wormhole. Lines that you're only ever going to hear on Star Trek. Yeah now here we see. And like, I, again, she's playing it weird as well. Like, I... She's sort of angry. Look at this staging as well, where they've got everyone in everyone's in the shot in a perfectly positioned place. Like it's a stage, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But again, this could have been funny. Do you know what I mean? Like then you've got the Ferengi who is absolutely doing his best to undermine Riles, like accidentally undermine Riles protestations of innocence and stuff. You know, like it's just kind of ineptly made in all sorts of ways. I feel like DeGana's pulling the rug enough, you know? No. He's not embarrassed by that. Why isn't she triumphant? She's winning, do you know what I mean? Like, she's sort of, she's very in control, but I just wanted a bit more sort of bitchy triumph from her. Yeah, it's a shame. It's a shame that they can't relax enough to make this. Yeah, I think that's the problem, isn't it? That is the problem. They're just not relaxed enough. They're still trying to present this. You remember I said, I thought PS9 was a serious drama. They're still trying to present it as well. That's right. That poor Barzan woman in that shot. The more I see her makeup, every time I see her makeup, she goes up about .5 on the Beaumont scale. It's a bit rough. This is my charts on American television. I've got a big row in Star Trek. Oh, dear. It is, I'll tell you what, it is nice that there are consequences to this episode, though. You know? And it's nice that those consequences are completely comic because in that episode, false profits. They have to go down, um, pretend to be the primitives on this planet and try and bring down this religion that they've created you know, even Janeway's in on the fun. So, if this isn't quite as fun as it should be, The consequences of this episode are more fun, man. So maybe someone is recognising that this is supposed to be a comedy on paper and they just fail at it being funny because they're too busy being Star Trek. And then they realise, well, we can be a bit more relaxed and we can be funny. I mean, Voyager series 3 is not, you know, peopled by huge numbers of actors at the height of their powers or anything like that. Maybe 3 actors. Well, yeah, yeah. I think Ethan Phillips is actually pretty great. sort of comedy he's called upon to do. I think most of the comedy in this sort of era of trek lands, when it's the performance, you know? Do you remember Whoopi Goldberg and the Dolphin when she goes, shut up, kid. Tell me more about my eyes. And it's funny because she delivers the line brilliantly. And that's super cheesy, that dialogue, but like deliberately cheesy. It's making fun of itself and the actors are both kind of leaning into it. Maybe it's the skill of the actor then. Yeah, and even wherever it lands. Because Whoopi Goldberg's a great actress, and Marina Surtis... Which becomes better. Do you know what it means? She gets better and better the longer she gets better acting. I think she gives up the acting and just brings herself. Well, that's one way of going back. very funny. send you the link to that convention appearance, you know? Yeah, she is funny. She's really great and I think she's so much charm. She goes, is anyone here deaf? Is this woman just waving around about for nothing? You know, she says on that convention stage. So funny. so inappropriate. It's terrible. Terrifying. But I mean, I think she's super fun in Voyager when she comes back in Voyager for the Pathfinder... Oh, God, I can't talk. Pathfinder episodes, yeah. Yeah. Well, that's, she's mostly patronising Regoline, those episodes for sure. That's fun too. Yeah, ooh, kissing. No, that was really a particularly unsexy kiss too. And like that line is delivered wrong. We said it right from the start. She says, I already have a job as counsellor, and she should be making fun of him. You know, like there's no lightness or anything like that. She's there absolutely rigid, and it's just like, come on, you sleazy dick. And that's part of the thing too. Do you know what I mean? It's kind of like he's doing he's pulling his usual crap. It's like Deanna wants to look after people. She's a counsellor. She cares about people. I'm going to be a person who needs help and needs to be kind of managed and stuff, and I'm going to call upon her for help, and she's kind of going, like, instead of just going, you can't still be pulling this shit after all this time. You can't still be doing that with me again. She delivers the line in complete seriousness and just stands there rigidly while he walks off. So it feels like he has learned nothing from this episode. He's going to go to the next ship and he'll do it all. And that's okay. Do you know what I mean? But she should score some things off him. She needs to win and she needs to win that last conversation. I don't think she does. And I just, you know, like they won't let her be steely enough to win. Do you know what? The more I think about it. Remember I brought up the game earlier in the episode? Yeah. Sexy Ashley Child, does Ensign Robin Leffler. and a marvellous romance with Wesley Crusher. Well, I mean, that's an episode where they do remember that it's supposed to be absurd and they make it as fun as possible. And then they put in this couple with great chemistry. And then in the last scene, which is also in the quarters, they're sort of kissing and hugging and cracking jokes at each other. So, yeah, I think they can get it right, you know, but a couple of years time. It takes a while to land it and the right people too. I think, you know, it's Ashley Judge. not sure that they could ever pull off a Councillor Troy romance that is going to land. But, I mean, look at many, many years later, but look at that episode of Picard series one that we did with her and Ryan. Independent. It wasn't a romantic... It was just a drama. But she sells the relationship between her and Riker because the 2 of them have been friends for so long. She acts beautifully, like she really conveys the loss of her son. Yeah, all of that stuff and how scared she is now and old and stuff. Like I just, like that was beautiful. That was such a good thing. I did appreciate it, though, come series 3 of Picard. You know, you've not only got Dr. Bev delivering medical babble in a particularly robotic way, but you've also got Councillor Troy you know, counselling Beverly's son about what's behind that door and being very serious and a bit dull. Do you remember? So do you remember the stuff where the changeling, the changeling comes and the changing Riker comes and Riker's talking about what the change thing was like and she says, oh, you know, he was very good in bed, but very bad at pizza or whatever. That's how I knew. That's how I knew And like they're just kind of making fun of one another. Like all of that stuff is just wonderful and delightful, but I guess you only get that 30 years later. It's the opposite. When that changeling turned up, you know, and slept with me. And then he made me a beautiful meal afterwards and I was like there's no way that's my mark. You know, he cooks terribly. The complete opposite. Do you know what? I didn't not enjoy that. No, no, me either. Well, I think it fails in many many ways. Yeah. It fails in the standard Star Trek ways. It's full of space people. They can't commit to being funny and there's a lot of latex on screen. The romance is icky. It's just gross. You know, you say it fails in Star Trek ways. I think it fails in, I think this episode, particularly generation ways. Yeah, yeah, yeah. what I mean. But, I mean, you and I sat through some pretty agonising episodes of TNG. And I enjoyed watching it twice. once when I shouldn't have, once when I should have. And now a 3rd time along with you. So I'm giving the price a thumbs up. Yeah, me too. Despite being terrible. It is terrible. So it's the end of the episode and it's time for us to work out what we're going to watch next time. I was responsible for, was I, was I really responsible? You were responsible for the price and for once in your run of duds. You've got as a winner. That tip. Yeah, that's it. I've actually managed to choose a winner after a very, very long streak of sort of bad stuff. So you have chosen a series for us to watch next time, is that right? A single series as well. I believe it is a little bit underrepresented in untitled Star Trek project. At least you mentioned it a couple of weeks ago. It is. It's 90 straight, but it's Voyager. I think Voyager was still a little bit underrepresented. And I just love talking about 90s trek so much. So I'm gonna push the button and hopefully we'll get a goodie. Okay, brilliant. Do that. We've not got a goodie. No, okay. The chances were high. What is it? Season 2, episode 6 twisted. Oh, dear, that's really bad, isn't it? That's the one that's so bad that in the convention, Robert Picardo goes, do you remember that episode where we were just wandering around the sets and the geography of the ship? He goes, they'd run out of money of anything. We were just wandering around the sets. like making it up. Yep, no, that's terrible. and not in a good way. Alright. Ooh, okay. Is it 2 parter? It is a two-parter and it is a good two-parter. At least the 1st half is very good. I should never say that. I'm always wrong. Season five, episode 26 equinox. Ooh, I would love to watch that. I would really like to watch. What do you think? The path that Voyager should have taken. Yeah. And that's the TV show. Not the ship. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. do you think? I think I think we should do that. Yeah. And you know what? There are some problems and in the 2nd episode, obviously you've got Romor's involvement and I'm going to pull up the quotes where it's talking about the writer's room and yeah, you've just satisfied it is. yeah You've got a living like this. Well, because fandom, when it when he decided to chip out after 4 episodes. So he wrote he wrote this huge back when there were forums. He wrote this huge forum post saying, this is why. I can't write for this show because none of it makes any sense. All right, that sounds perfect then. So equinox and equinox part two, right? Both of them. let's do it Excellent. Let's do it. You've been listening to Entitled Star Trek Project with Joe Porter, Nathan Bottomley. We're online at untitledstar trekproject.com where you can find subscription links and links to our social media accounts. Our podcast artwork is by Kayla Ciceran and the theme was composed by Cameron Lamb. This episode was recorded on the 19th of September 2023 and released on the 22nd of September. We'll see you next time for Star Trek Voyager, Equinox and Equinox Part 2. really good choice. So do you have time? Are you like this time next week? I'm off next week. But when are you in London? Oh, not till I think we're going Thursday, Friday. There's a train strike on Saturday, so we're going to go Thursday Friday. Wednesday, Thursday. Okay. Well, in that case I can do it because I'm off school. school. Yeah, I can do it for sure. And I'll make sure, like, I'll Tuesday evening. Wait, let me say it before I say that. Tuesday the 26th. Yep. No events. I can absolutely do that. I like doing 2 hours, you know. Yeah, I do too. Well, usually because one part just fails. So you get talking about the great stuff. terrible stuff. But I actually don't really remember equinox all that well. I remember hope and fear. Which is... 4 and 5, is it? Is it 4 and five? Yeah, no, equinox is 5 and six. 5 and six. What's 4 and five? That's hope for fear. And then no, I opened up. So it's 2 single episodes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's the only time they did that, I think. So basics part one and 2 is two, isn't it? Season two, three. Three to 4 Scorpion. 45 is, yeah. Yeah, yeah, okay. And then Unimatrix 0, obviously. Yeah, DSY was a show that didn't do 2 pilos at the end of the season. It just always did a season cliffhanger and then another standalone to open the season afterwards. Yeah. Yeah, but that's because they're serialised. So it doesn't make any difference. Yeah, that's right. You know, they usually did the 2 posters. At the beginning of the season, didn't they? Yeah. Imaging the sand, shadows and symbols. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the thing was... The search part one. search one and two, the 3 powder at the beginning of series two. That was a mission statement, I think. Yeah, but that's it. That's setting up the new thing, what we're doing that's new. I think that's actually a good approach. What's great about equinox. part one is you've got the equinox crew coming in. so much more interesting than the Voyager crew because they're all they're all on the edge and slightly psychotic. And then you've got, I remember Harry Kim comes out of a line because Balana's ex-boyfriend obviously is on the equinox. So he's going, oh, yeah, I always used to call you BLT. Like, because that was your favourite. No way. And then Harry Kim goes, oh, Tom, I'm going to call you Turkey Platter. Oh, no, that's right. Jesus Christ. What is that? What is that? We will have fun with it though. Oh my goodness. Okay, that'll be fun. I have time to watch it too. So all of that is extremely good. That's yeah, that's perfect for that. over the weekend because I think today, which is my 1st day off. of the week. I think I've got anything on Saturday. So that'll be nice. Yeah. Well, I'll just, I'll load them onto my iPad or whatever and watch them while we're away, you know, like, because I think we're going to do lots of lying about and stuff. And then I get back on Monday in the middle of the day. If I haven't watch it by then, I'll watch it by then. anyway. Let me save this in a minute. So I can send it to you now. If you're going to do it tonight, I'm starting in full week. Yeah. Yeah. I'll make a start tonight because some, yeah, I, um, I need to get everything done before I go away. A lot of it's you and me going, ooh. I think were we too cruel about straight people? Not cruel enough, I don't think. Yeah, I think so. those guys. Weirdos.