A barely secret conspirator has been selling Federation technology to the Kazon Nistrim in a weird alternative timeline where there are more than seven people on board the ship, where Chakotay has agency and interesting things to do, and where we really feel like we’re stranded tens of thousands of light years from home. Plus, Seska is here!
When the Doctor’s hard drive starts to fill up with opera, romantic relationships and all the complex glories of being human, he finds himself increasingly unable to fulfil his function as Voyager’s Chief Medical Officer — instead becoming a heartbreaking analogue of your dad suffering from dementia. Also, a bunch of space things happen that we couldn’t possibly care about.
Flushed with the success of its previous attempt at Gothic Horror, Star Trek gamely tackles the genre again, as the Doctor’s experiments with the parameters of his program inevitably lead to a high-concept holographic version of The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, with all of the creepiness towards women that that implies. Aggressively mediocre.
This week, Joe and Nathan find themselves travelling backwards in time to 1997, when they first watched and enjoyed the Star Trek: Voyager episode Before and After, only to find themselves infected with a deadly [tech], which will be going to have activated some time later (or earlier) when they undergo [tech] therapy in the Doctor’s new [tech] treatment [tech]. Meanwhile, Harry has apparently married a toddler or something, which seems upsetting and highly inappropriate.
In this week’s meeting of the Jeri Ryan Appreciation Society, we watch the most aggressively average Star Trek episode the Randomiser can find, only to discover that there’s still a lot of fun to be had — hilariously sluggish action scenes, a shockingly low-effort Intransigent Alien Race, and some wonderfully subtle and nuanced performances from Ethan Phillips, Tim Russ and Jeri Ryan.
It’s business as usual on Star Trek this week, as the crew of Voyager find themselves in an episode of Secret Army which has been cast, written and directed by latex-headed aliens in Nazi uniforms. Will Voyager’s extensive back catalogue of holodeck programs persuade the Hirogen that there’s more to life than festooning your bulkheads with human skulls? Or will the Captain be forced (reluctantly) to kill Seven of Nine first?
This week: a clever script, a complete absence of banter, a frog alien that scores zero on the B’omar Scale, astonishingly good incidental music by Mahler and Tchaikovsky, and two outstanding performances from Mark Harelik and Kate Mulgrew — all working together perfectly to create one of Voyager’s Best Episodes Ever. Enjoy. (You will.)
It’s our first trip to the Delta Quadrant, and we have questions that need answering. Is B’Elanna’s father a massive racist or just a regular-sized racist? Which is more convincing: Tom and B’Elanna’s baby or an 8472 in a well-lit room? And can we maintain focus all the way through a 45-minute episode of Voyager without a single space anomaly?
A difference of opinion on Untitled Star Trek Project this week: Joe is cross and disappointed that things ended this way, and Nathan is enjoying the satisfaction that only low expectations can provide. Meanwhile, the crew of the USS Voyager enjoy a long-delayed reunion (in latex), re-examine a costly command decision, and experience an upsetting new heterosexual romance. And then, finally, after all these years, they find their way home.