Episode 63
Friday 5 May 2023
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Series 1, Episode 15
Stardate: 46844.3
First broadcast on Sunday 9 May 1993
This week, Kira moves a few steps forward on her long and problematic journey from terrorist to bureaucrat as she struggles with a decision to evict Brian Keith from a hastily re-dressed Standard Cave Set 1. In the meantime, Jake and Nog do some adorable capitalism, foreshadowing just how much we’re going to grow to love them by the end of the show.
Episode 62
Friday 28 April 2023
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds
Series 1, Episode 8
Stardate: 2341.6
First broadcast on Thursday 23 June 2022
A long time ago in a land far, far away, a beneficent king called Alex ruled over the kingdom of Trek, deciding which provinces would prosper and what each province would be known for. And so it came to pass that in the Province of Strange New Worlds, fun and entertainment would hold sway, and that from time to time even a heartwarming ending would be welcomed. And they all lived happily ever after, even the ones who had died.
(Warning, some spoilers here for Picard Series 3.)
Episode 61
Friday 10 February 2023
Star Trek: The Next Generation
Series 1, Episode 8
Stardate: 41255.6
First broadcast on Monday 9 November 1987
Together at last for the first time, Joe and Nathan find themselves on Planet of the Horny but Unattractive White People, faced with a moral dilemmma that wouldn’t challenge a slow-witted five-year-old. Ah, we have fun, don’t we?
Episode 60
Monday 30 January 2023
Star Trek: Lower Decks
Series 3, Episode 2
Stardate: Unknown (2381)
First broadcast on Thursday 1 September 2022
A game of Bat’leths & BiHnuchs takes a surprising turn, as Mariner and Boimler make some very important decisions: Mariner is going to be less insubordinate, while Boimler is going to boldly take opportunities he has never taken before. But soon Mariner finds herself ignoring Ransom’s orders and plummeting from an orbital platform to save her crewmates, while Boimler plays some springball, joins a Bajoran dirge choir, models nude for a figure painting class, and is finally hunted through the ship by a monster for sport. And we all learn a valuable lesson, except Boimler, who learns a stupid one.
Episode 59
Friday 20 January 2023
Star Trek: Voyager
Series 3, Episode 18
Stardate: 50693.2
First broadcast on Wednesday 19 February 1997
Flushed with the success of its previous attempt at Gothic Horror, Star Trek gamely tackles the genre again, as the Doctor’s experiments with the parameters of his program inevitably lead to a high-concept holographic version of The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, with all of the creepiness towards women that that implies. Aggressively mediocre.
Episode 58
Friday 13 January 2023
Star Trek: Enterprise
Series 4, Episodes 20–21
Stardate: Unknown (2155)
First broadcast on Friday 6 May 2005
and Friday 13 May 2005
Enterprise is reaching the end of the long road that brought them from there to here, and before we say a final goodbye, we’ve just got enough time to foil a charmless racist demagogue who wants to destroy our future — a future based on co-operation, openmindedness and mutual respect. It’s just like the present day, really, only the good guys win. Oh, and Trip gets to punch a racist in the face.
Episode 57
Friday 6 January 2023
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Series 4, Episode 3
Stardate: Unknown (2372–2450)
First broadcast on Monday 9 October 1995
It’s life, Jake. You can miss it if you don’t open your eyes.
Star Trek takes a break from space nonsense to remind us what grief is like: lonely, lifelong and bleak. The price we pay for love.
Episode 56
Friday 30 December 2022
Star Trek: Lower Decks
Series 2, Episode 4
Stardate: 58036.4
First broadcast on Thursday 2 September 2021
This week, Star Trek: Lower Decks does what it does best: plumbing the depths of the franchise’s weirdest moments to produce something fun, entertaining, and sympathetic to its ideals. Which is why we get to root for some underappreciated and frequently mispronounced alien monsters, and why those two beautiful nerdy men, Boimler and Rutherford, get to save the day not with violence, but with a PowerPoint presentation and some maths.
Episode 55
Friday 23 December 2022
Star Trek Movie #7
Stardate: 48632.4
Release date: 1994
Star Trek: Generations is a Christmas movie, but more than that, it’s the moment when Star Trek: The Next Generation makes its first tentative and ultimately unsuccessful step into the venerable movie franchise. Julian Bashir’s crazy uncle has a horrific plan to get to heaven by killing a bunch of people we don’t see and don’t care about, and can only be stopped by two middle-aged white guys clambering over some gantries or something. Oh, and the Enterprise crashes and the whole crew is killed. Happy holidays, everyone!
Episode 54
Friday 16 December 2022
Star Trek: The Next Generation
Series 2, Episode 19
Stardate: 42859.2
First broadcast on Monday 19 June 1989
Our writers are on strike this week, and so we’re just going to mark time until we reach the end of this blurb. When an uncomfortably horny Lwaxana Troi beams aboard the Enterprise, a series of events happen, culminating at last in the episode’s closing credits. Mick Fleetwood guest stars as a fish.