After the crew of Enterprise decide to ignore the advice of their only competent crewmember, they find themselves on a very routine away mission on a very unremarkable planet, exhibiting behaviour that would embarass the most racist of your racist uncles. Turns out that at the end of the day, it hasn’t been such a long road getting from there to here.
This week, Enterprise Chief Engineer Charles Tucker III is pregnant, and Nathan and Joe expect to be embarrassed and offended by the result. Instead, they are delighted to find themselves merely bored. (In fact, Nathan thinks the first half of the episode is rather sweet and charming, but he’s an incurable romantic where lizard people are concerned.)
Our mission this week — to boldly rehabilitate an unjustly maligned episode of Star Trek: Enterprise. After more than a season of being aggrieved and obnoxious, Jonathan Archer is suddenly confronted by the need to apologise to people, sometimes with his shirt off. Meanwhile, Porthos is a very good boy, even when he’s just a fluffy puppet.
In this Very Special Episode, we learn a Valuable Lesson about discrimination and bigotry without a single mention of the minority group being discriminated against. In the meantime — by the most amazing coincidence — Trip has an awkward moment when confronted by some nice people who don’t share his sexual ethic. It’s all a bit of a slog, to be honest.
The crew of Enterprise encounter the Vissians, a genial and technologically advanced species who enslave three percent of their population and force them to have sex with married couples who wish to conceive their horrible latex-faced children. Surprisingly, we’re generally fine with this. Apart from Trip, who is a good person.
This week, untrustworthy foreigners attack and terrorise Enterprise for literally no reason other than the arbitrary tenets of their weird and incorrect religion. There’s a lesson to be learned here, but only if you don’t think too hard about it.
This week, we learn a valuable lesson about Johnny Foreigner: he’s just not to be trusted. (God knows how we’re going to get a Federation together.) Still, we manage to enjoy ourselves for a bit.
This week, the Xindi and some big-ass lizard guy get to beat the crap out of (a) Enterprise and (b) Captain Archer, respectively. Meanwhile, Nathan and Joe are delighted, not because they’re mean (although they are), but because this is such a thoroughly entertaining hour of Star Trek: Enterprise. Who knew such things could be?
A new experience for Joe and Nathan this week, as they enjoy an episode of Star Trek: Enterprise without irony or reservations. The Vulcans have been behaving oddly for three and a half years, for some reason, but this week, they decide to be normal again, for a dumb reason. But in spite of all that, there’s a lot of fun to be had here.
First broadcast on Friday 22 April 2005
and Friday 29 April 2005
The finish line is in sight this week for Star Trek: Enterprise, and so it’s time to throw out the rulebook and have some fun for a change, with a preposterous farrago of fan service that remembers at least that one of our most important jobs is to be enjoyable and entertaining. T’Pol starts wearing a miniskirt and Archer drinks some poisoned champagne, and, frankly, we couldn’t possibly be happier.
