Untitled Star Trek Project

You know how it is: it’s your first spinoff — a cast of delightfully high-concept characters set against a colourful backdrop, with story possibilities around every corner. But then you find yourself limping towards the end of your first season. You’ve done the plague one, the weird alien fugitive one, the buddy comedy one with the CGI shaving cream, and the terrible boardgame one that everyone will have such fond memories of. So what’s left? How about a story where all of your beloved regulars play people no one cares about, embroiled in a conflict that no one has any interest in? We can do that, can’t we?

Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. It’s five-year mission: To explore Strange New Worlds. To remind us of our love the Original Series. To have a fun adventure every week. To look like nothing else on television. To boldly attempt —  for a world exhausted by impending catastrophes — to be the most authentic expression of Star Trek since the 1960s.

meanwhile, Michael tries to work through her feelings for the tall and handsome new security officer Lieutenant Ash Tyler. After a catastrophic explosion destroys the ship, Harry Mudd sneaks on board Discovery, kills the captain, and searches for a way to sell the spore drive to the Klingons; meanwhile, Michael tries to work through her feelings for the tall and handsome new security officer Lieutenant Ash Tyler. After a catastrophic explosion destroys the ship, Harry Mudd sneaks on board Discovery, kills the captain, and searches for a way to sell the spore drive to the Klingons;

This week, Joe and Nathan are on the edge of our seats, wondering what insignificant event will tip the twenty-first century over the edge — turning it from a punishing ordeal into a shrieking hellscape of fascism and climatic disaster. Fortunately we’re able to distract ourselves from all this with a really enjoyable episode of Star Trek: Picard.

Exhausted from last week’s astonishingly brilliant performance, this week Bill Shatner is literally phoning it in — so bored with Star Trek that he can’t even be bothered to say all five digits of this week’s stardate. Meanwhile, the Enterprise is trapped in a thing, unable to escape until they do another thing. Or something. Whatever.