Hey, Joe. Hi.
So we're back on Star Trek, the original series, and it is series
two, episode 15, I want to say.
It's Wolf in the Fold, the beloved Star Trek classic Wolf in the
Fold.
You just, of course.
Yeah, I thought this was really quite extraordinarily terrible
actually. like a barely competent piece of television.
But I don't think that's a universally held view.
I do think that this is beloved by some people.
So if any of those people are listening.
Sorry.
I don't think I'm going to be very kind to this.
I always thought perhaps giving James Duhan an episode of his own
of Star Trek might be a mistake.
And I'm pleased to say that my theory is absolutely spot on. is
correct.
Yeah, although he, but like, even though it's about him and he's
the subject of it, he doesn't have as big a role as, you know, Kirk
and McCoy, and I think there are some great Kirk moments here, and
I think that this is, you know, they're still fun to be had from
time to time here, but I do think like it's a bad basic premise
and it's executed really badly as well.
Like they don't find anything to do with it, I think.
I think James Duhan is very good at being funny and charming. which
is why I think he's at his best in the movies where he just gets
nice. like, you know, I know this ship like the back of my hand
bonk, you know, and things like that.
That's what he does really well, but sort of putting him in at the
centre of a murder mystery where suddenly Scotty's got all this
irrational hatred of women and it's the one that's discovered
holding the bloody knife and suddenly he's got to emote a lot.
It doesn't really work, does it?
It's not really good.
And he does seem to stab a lot of people.
Like I'm surprised that again.
Scotty, stop stabbing the people.
Um, it's, like, it's kind of... ridiculous.
If it's not you.
It's a fucking amazing coincidence that every time the lights come
on you're holding a bloody knife.
Yeah, yeah.
So, you know, we've often had fun with original Trek, and I think
we've been really lucky in the ones that we've got.
But, you know, this is still the 60s.
And although there is a lot of brilliant television being made in
the 60s, there's also kind of bad television being made too.
And this, some good ideas come up here, just sort of by the bye
and we might mention them as they come along, but this is them
kind of working out what they're doing or trying to work out what
they're doing and not really succeeding, I think.
And there's a heap here that just never, ever gets attempted
again.
What definitely is worth talking about, especially some of the
technology that's in play in this.
I mean, I think this can be considered enough of a success that
you know, skip forward to TNG, lonely among us, we have another
malevolent, gaseous entity entering the computer and causing a lot
of trouble.
I mean, that's not exactly a classic.
I did like that idea.
I like the idea of this weird evil force taking over the shit, but
they just don't do anything with it.
No, that's the problem, isn't it?
And the way that they defeated is, doesn't it, in a psychotic
way?
and that's that's all you get.
Yeah.
I think there was a novelisation of it that made it do more
interesting things over the screen, but all they can do is that
sort of gas shape thing and then poor old, is it John Feidler or
John Fiedler?
I don't know how to say his name.
But he's a definite that guy and he's perhaps one of the biggest
guests does that we've ever had, a man who has been on literally
everything on television for over 50 years and he's kind of doing
the sort of scary voices, but I imagine that most of the American
audience were reminded of his breakout role as piglet in Winnie
the Pooh.
And so Piglet is menacing the ship.
Unforgettable.
I mean, I thought he was pretty wooden in this and the obvious 1st
suspects when he's so appalled at all the murders that are going
on.
Agatha Christie.
This is not.
No.
And for me, though, I'm a huge fan of bewitched.
I absolutely adore bewitched, and one of the fun things about
bewitched is that it has a sort of rotating cast of guest
characters.
So, you know, the person who runs the business that Darren's
advertising company has an account for, you know, is the same
person week to week quite often as is his wife.
And so this guy is in bewitched 6 times as 6 completely different
people, which I just think is hilarious and kind of adorable.
I was reading in Captain's Logs.
For some reason, I skipped straight to the 3rd season because I
wanted to see what all the interviewees had to say about, you know
this much derided season of Star Trek.
And Walter Kadig is there saying, you know, Fred Freiburger, you
know, destroyed the integrity of Star Trek by daring to bring in
you know, guest actors from the time, you know, popular guest
actors.
But actually, that's already happening here.
And it was certainly, we said in progress, don't we?
It would go on to become a bit of a staple, 90s trek and beyond.
And something that works well, I think, you know, very
frequently.
I mean, what's the name of the politician that just turned up in
discovery?
Yeah, so Stacy Abram.
Talk about a bit of stunt casting.
President.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I mean, it's a thing that happens.
We did an episode of Discovery, called the examples, which was
based very strongly on the performance of a guest actor, the guy
who played Felix was, you know, a huge deal.
And so it is a thing that happens all the time.
I don't think there's anything wrong with it.
And I think getting a big name to star in your show works over and
over again.
And we mentioned heaps of examples of it a couple of weeks ago.
I think, generally speaking, when Star Trek does do this, they
give those actors, you know, at Gene Simmons, they give them a
good role to play.
Yeah.
Yeah, but let's consider this sort of baby steps.
Yeah, it's all right.
Yeah, yeah.
So, what do you think?
Should we go in?
I think we should.
I have to say, as your messages came in, as you were watching this
episode, I was having a delightful time reading those, and you
came at me straight away with the synopsis, which is on Netflix
that just says, Scotty is accused of murdering a belly dancer.
I think you just hurt.
Oh, God.
You can't say it.
It's not doing what it says on a tin, can you?
It absolutely is doing that.
Okay, look.
All right, let's do it.
I think, well, let's see the belly dancer in action.
You know, I think I think you're right.
We have been very lucky with the, you know, doomsday machine
travel with Tribbles.
A long time, you know?
We've had some absolute bangers.
I kind of was holding out for not an absolute sort of clanger like
Spock's brain, you know, universally reviled.
There's something that's sort of reasonably competently made, but
just a bit terrible.
And that's this.
Yeah, I'm not sure that it is reasonably competently made, but
we'll get there.
We're talking about Scorpion again.
All right.
Right, yeah.
Okay, I'm going to count us in.
Five, four, three, two, one, and we're off.
So you'll notice this belly dancer did her own choreography
according to memory alpha, which, you know, woo hoo.
And belly dances are a bit of a thing, you might remember the man
with the golden gun, Roger Moore.
There are 2 belly dancers, I think, in from Russia with love or
like on one of the early Connery films as well.
One of the title sequences, like a load of belly dancers.
Yeah, so it's definitely a thing.
It's definitely in the zeitgeist.
And so this is the sexy planet.
This is pre-riser, and it's called Argelius, I think.
I don't think they drop it, you know, because I seem to recall an
episode of Discovery with a load of Orion girls doing belly
dancing.
But I think there was a guy there as well.
Okay, so yeah.
So one of the hilarious things that you can spot here is that she
has a little flower covering up her belly button because you
couldn't show a belly button on TV during this period.
And that's the reason, because you never see Jeannie's belly
button as well, you know, I Dream of Jeannie.
So it's literally TV censorship that thought showing her actual
belly button would be too sexy.
Look at her though.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's it.
That's the other thing too, is there are things here that we just
sort of think it's ridiculous that this is, you know, even a
thing.
But then there are things here where we think, how the hell is
this allowed on television?
Like, what are they doing?
So the backstory appears to be that there's been an explosion.
Scotty's been thrown against a bulkhead, but because a woman was
responsible for the explosion.
He has an irrational hatred of women now.
We're worried that he might develop an irrational hatred for
women.
And so we bring him down to this plan.
Are they on this planet?
Well, to pick a woman for him to have sex with so that he starts
liking women again or something.
Like, it's something super dumb.
And he's behaving like an absolute moron here.
Like, look at him.
He's like, he's like he's had a blow.
Well, he has had a blow to the head.
That's the backstory.
But like he's just sort of staring at this woman like he's never
seen a woman before.
It's super, super embarrassing.
Bad lesson.
All of how this is.
It's a load of men lounging around and then women sort of catering
to their every whim and stroking them and, you know.
We complained about justice, you know.
But at least there was a bit of the sort of gender equality going
on in that lack of sexiness.
That's right.
It was, however, all white people.
Oh, yeah, sorry, yeah.
So we ticked we were doing a race.
And then we crossed another.
Oh, this fella, isn't he?
Ugly.
Oh, yeah, he's gone now.
Yeah, so there's 2 people and they're going to appear later and
they're really desperately, terrible thing about it is, one is her
father and the other one is her boyfriend and or her ex
boyfriend.
And none of them, no one is particularly distressed at the fact
that she's been killed.
And none of the murders have any weight at all.
So we kill this woman here, then we kill a crew member of the
Enterprise, and then we kill the wife of the prefect of the city
or whatever.
And no one really seems to mind.
Someone is entirely, is Scotty, you'll see.
Yeah, not, oh, dear, these people have dies.
Yeah, which is very open.
When he comes back in relics and he says, oh, I, this reminds me
of my hotel room on Argelius, I sure had a wee bit of trouble back
then.
You know, it's just like a wee bit of trouble.
You murdered 3 people.
You should have said, you know, the one of 2 times when I got a
bit of focus back in the original series.
I had a bit of...
You know the line he just had there about, if someone came at me
right and said, oh, there's nothing like having a stroll down a
mysterious, foggy night.
I'll be like, you know, you're right. on your own.
Okay?
I actually we missed the kirk.
Kirk has a funny line there about his job never being done or
something.
You know, he's he's clearly like pimping for Scotty or whatever.
And that's Shadow. wonderful.
Have you know it?
Yeah, yeah, it's all carpet.
Oh, I did like this because even though this is in the studio
they've sort of gone to town with a dry ice here.
Yeah, it's a nice foggy location.
Yeah.
So they're going off to pick up chicks, are they, somewhere else
but they hear this sudden scream.
Here we go.
What is it with these sex planets?
Yeah, yeah.
They go off to...
Turns out the wolf was right.
They're awful.
Yeah, he had his famous line there, didn't he?
She's dead, Jim.
And he does get to say she's dead, Jim, again a little bit later
and possibly a 3rd time, but I didn't, I may have lost count.
But they do get some top quality.
They get points for the acting. da, da, da, da, da, da.
So ridiculously melodramatic.
All stock.
There's no music specially written for this episode which is a bit
tragic.
And there is that sort of ooh, sort of ethereal music when we have
the seance, which I thought was actually pretty good. started
doing the stings on this, you know?
What's even better if those listening will know exactly what we're
talking about.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, I think maybe they looked across the season and went, well
what's the series?
episode where we just don't want to do any fresh music?
Oh, wolf in the film?
That'll do.
Yeah, we won't put any more effort into that one.
Is this a particularly disliked episode?
I think this is a sort of forgotten episode where we got this on
the randomiser.
You and I did not have a problem what this was about.
And I genuinely think I had never seen it before.
Like I had no memories.
Like often I remember visuals and stuff from original trek, but I
don't think I ever saw this at all.
The one sort of scintilla of knowledge that I had about this was
Jack the Ripper.
I remember that.
I think I've read the Jammer review, which I'm sure we'll talk
about at some point.
Three stars jam up, really.
He may want to go back and revisit that.
That's a baffling assessment of the quality of this program.
Have you seen the new CGI effects here or you've got the I am.
Yeah, no, I'm watching the new effects. look really good.
So here is Mr. Hengist, and he is our guy from Bewitched.
Actually, to remember, it's clearly our murderer.
Yeah, yeah. he's in it lots of times When you said bewitched
earlier, you know that sort of cheeky humour that they've got, that
sort of winking at buildings all the time.
Like the best of TOS does that as well.
I don't think there's not parallels there with how they play their
shows.
No, but the thing about bewitched is that it's really feminist
like really properly feminist and it's about feminism as well.
And so... a woman called.
Endora.
Oh, gosh, she's won the voice.
Oh, superb.
It's one of my favourite shows and I've got I could go on about it
at great length, but it is really kind of progressive and it is
about, you know, her decision.
She belongs to a sort of very modern, progressive European style
family and she chooses to give it up to become a, you know
housewife and it's all about that decision.
That's not a show that's not at all in progressive in any way
shape or form.
No.
Well, you see, so the basic idea is that Jack the Ripper is an
alien or, you know, uh, has an alien entity that inspires uh
people to murder women.
And.
Well, he came in contact with Jackson.
So I don't think it started a shot, did it?
It's somewhere along his timeline of jumping from person to
person.
He influenced Jack the Ripper.
Yeah.
And so part of the problem with that is, of course, that men
murdering women is a thing that is distressingly common.
And, you know, they behave as if it's like a super rare thing.
But the other thing is they kind of think that it would be
entertaining to have Jake the Repast, take over the ship.
And I just don't think it is because like there's even that quote
did you said it where block, I can't remember the name of the
writer of the episode.
But he was tasked with riding a Jack the Ripper in space thing
where it wasn't Jack going through the fog with a knife.
But essentially that's the only interesting thing about Jack the
Reaper is that kind of iconography of the, you know, the dark
Victorian streets of fog and stuff.
Yeah.
And they're leading inside.
In the 1st half of this, they're leaning in, so yeah, who's the
one?
It's a murder mystery, isn't it?
Yeah, but it's a kind of shitty murder mystery, isn't it?
Because there's no actual suspects.
Well, it should have been. is that this weird gaseous, this
malevolent entity. inspired by Jack the Ripper is going into
Scotty.
And then maybe that should have been the episode.
Well, then do we prosecute Scotty or do we prosecute the
malevolent, you know, but that's a bit more interesting in what we
get?
Yeah, yeah, I think like I just don't know what's so great about
Jack the Ripper as an idea here.
I think they're leaning into sort of visually as well.
Like, or wouldn't it be great to have a, you know, foggy streets
and yeah.
Yeah.
And I have to say that I don't hate this bit either.
So there is an interaction with this society and they are a
society that's given over to pleasure and we get that thing where
jealousy is forbidden because it causes violence.
And particularly in a world where everyone's fucking everyone else
you know.
But also like she, so this is Sibo, who is the wife of the sort of
prefect of the city or whatever, and she's an ancient priestess.
And when they contact the ship, Spock says, yes, you know, it's a
thing.
This is a real thing that they're able to do.
And, you know, like I wouldn't want to hang a man on just that
evidence, but it's real and interesting and something's
happening.
I thought that was all really quite good.
I miss all of this when I was watching it the 1st time.
Maybe I was looking at my phone a lot more than I thought, you
know.
I think I looked up and thought, oh, the set dressing is quite
nice.
Have you not?
But it doesn't go anywhere.
That's the problem.
It just doesn't go anywhere.
I think there's sort of germs of ideas all over the place.
None of them are really, are they?
No, because the only reason that she's there, like she doesn't
learn.
Oh, she does actually, that's not true.
She actually does learn that it is like more than just a person
that it is an age old murderous entity.
So she actually successfully discovers that.
But she's also killed.
And in fact, that's perhaps the most interesting delivery of
exposition about the premise that we get.
Certainly not the 15 minute sequence where they chat to the
computer, which is just unforgivably boring and linear, like
an...
But I think there absolutely is a way of doing a 15 minute
sequence that could be really interesting.
That's just having a robotic voice intoning droning on for 10
minutes.
That's not how you do it.
So we were thinking of 2 episodes before in 90s trek that have
something similar and those are a matter, is it a matter of
perspective?
A matter of perspective?
That's the one where Riker's accused of murder.
Yeah, so he's accused of murdering a man, because he's having an
affair with the wife, and it gets played out in the holodeck and
they've got the holodeck so they can reenact the thing.
See, I just thought this was so bad.
This poor woman comes down.
This is Lieutenant Tracy just to be killed.
Just to be murdered.
She's Lieutenant Tracy.
And she is able to operate the she has 2 female names like Captain
Janeway.
And she, she's Karen.
So Karen operates the psycho tricorder.
And the psychotricorder can read someone's memory for the last 24
hours and it's a piece of kit that will never get mentioned again
because it would actually ruin a whole heap of episodes and make
them impossible. 900 episodes that follow this.
There are many occasions where the psycho tricorder would be
instrumental.
It would have been very useful.
Yeah.
Maybe someone's written a book, I reckon, that they were banned
for some reason.
No, no, Lieutenant Tracy was the only one who knew how to work it
and then she gets stabbed.
So that's why no one else uses it again.
Yeah, that's what that's what I'm going with.
Well, and it's very unfortunate that she's about to be brutally
murdered.
Yeah, that's right.
That's right.
It's so stupid.
And you even know when she comes down, you know, that she's coming
here to be murdered and she'll get 3 lines and then be stabbed.
Look at this fella that they've hired in for this role.
He's got the sort of demonic beard, doesn't he?
I think he's really striking looking.
He's got really bad kind of bald hair.
But I think he's actually quite striking and, you know, like he
I'm buying him as the sleazy prefect of a city based on pleasure.
They were trying too hard to point the finger at anyone but the
person who turned out to be the murderer, but it was so obvious he
was the murderer, you know?
So here we are.
Here's our 2nd murder.
There is Tracy, who has been stabbed, but doesn't seem to be
bleeding, and he's she's dead, Jim, for the 2nd time, and it's...
Okay, so is this malevolent entity is going into that fella and
he's the one doing the murders, yeah?
So, or is it Scotty doing?
Where is he?
No, I don't think Scotty's doing that.
Why is he not murdering Scotty?
Because women are more scared of being murdered than men.
And so, yeah.
And so it enjoys murdering women more than it would enjoy
murdering men.
I'm pretty scared of being mad. you know.
I am as well.
Well, not normally, not generally, but it'd be bad, let's just
say.
But it is, it is some, like that's literally said in dialogue
later in that interminable scene up on the ship.
Remember, this is coming from the same pool of writers that gave
us, you know, the finale where women are not allowed to be in
positions of authority on a starship.
Yeah.
And there are hints that it's not always like that or it didn't
have to be like that, but this is pretty miserable as far as
sexism goes.
And it isn't. think about what we watched last week.
Scorpion.
And how we were celebrating Jerry Ryan and Kate Mulgrew in these
incredible roles.
Yeah.
Things things change.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, they did.
They did.
And this, but original Star Trek isn't always like this.
There are competent women in it.
But this is a miserable and they're not giving enough.
No, no, sure.
Yeah.
So the one thing that I like is, and it's going to come in because
the captain's going to contact Spock, who's on the bridge, and
he's going to explain to Spock that we need to follow the laws of
this society while we're here.
While we're here, we're bound by their laws and we have to, we can
help them.
You know, if, and if they agree to it, that's fine, but we can't
override their justice system.
And there's no question.
That sounds very similar to something you and I watched together
in person.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.
But I think that's good.
That's something that Star Trek does run with, and I think it's
being established here because Bach doesn't seem to have any idea
that those are the rules.
So should they ultimately decide that Scotty is guilty, then they
would have to leave him behind to be punished.
Yeah.
But they don't go down that route, do they?
And maybe after watching Justice, we should be glad that they
didn't.
Yeah, I mean, the thing with justice is the problem that we have
is not adhering to a rule, like a rule that comes from an alien
society.
It's adhering to an absurd unjust rule.
Like they object to the rule here.
You know, he's had a, you know, like he's done some stabbing.
I mean, do you know what I mean?
Like, like, it's, it wouldn't be that implausible for them to
decide actually he did stab those women and uh, we're going to
actually they, the rule is here on this planet, death by slow
torture, which... be great.
That's how I've always wanted to go, you know.
So this guy, this guy.
They just bring in these 2 randomers and say, right, well, yeah, so
these 2 men were hanging about, you know, where your lieutenant
was out there.
So we actually saw him storm off in scene one.
We saw the guy with the moustache, the guy with the moustache
who's her father.
We saw him with the band.
This guy who's really striking looking.
He got beautiful blue eyes, but seems to have had a horrific sort
of broken nose at some point.
But he's striking looking and I think he's okay.
He's about how they nice it.
All the ice pop in original...
What it is.
Well, so does his.
You know the father?
He looks like he stepped straight out of Aladdin.
I mean, what have they put him in?
Well, and they're using all this like it's Turkish or do you know
what I mean?
Like slightly Islamic kind of architecture and stuff?
It's sort of shorthanded.
Exotic, isn't it?
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
And let's not pretend night is trek is above that as well.
No, no.
Yeah, that's right.
So, like this, I think this is a reasonable conversation.
I think it's actually, you know, not bad.
And I think that, that, um, the way that he interacts here, you
know, that he agrees to do this weird seance.
Oh, I love this scene.
Yeah.
When I just like how this scene was executed, how when the camera
starts moving around, the lights start going down.
Then it goes pitch black and then you hear the scream and that was
sort of the scariest bit in the whole episode, I thought.
Yeah, yeah.
And I can imagine you know, someone remembering that and finding
it really striking.
It's something I've heard, um, pointed at both 60s, Doctor Who, and
60s Star Trek by you is that it does weird really well. in a way
they're sort of abandoned a bit later on.
Yeah, this scene was weird.
I couldn't really figure out what was happening.
No, but I mean, I kind of like this.
See, this is Spock saying that it's an interesting phenomenon.
Uh, you know, uh, it's something real is happening here in this
empathic technique thing. not just mumbo jumbo.
It's not just made up.
And this is where Scotty says, oh, this is where Spock says, let's
beam Scotty up and he's told that that can't happen.
And, you know, later on, we know that those are the rules, but
this is those rules being established in Star Trek, I think, don't
you?
It sounds like it.
Is this the 1st time this has happened then?
Well, they've been bound. by another side. doesn't seem to Yeah
Spock doesn't seem to know anything about that.
Look at that shot from above.
Yeah, it looks really good, doesn't it?
Yeah, look at the shadows on the floor.
The light is terrific too.
She's great too.
I really like this one.
She will, of course, spoilers get stabbed.
She's a woman in this episode.
She's a woman who talks in this episode, so...
You've got to be punished, right?
If you've got the dialogue.
You're going to be a question.
Dreadful.
Oh, yeah.
Anger feeds the flame.
And sort of the weird priestess thing and stuff is something that
Star Trek does.
But I just love Spock, who is so rational, saying, yes, this is a
thing.
It's real. you know, um, But there was, there was a, there was a
lot of sort of weird camera movement here and things like this, you
know.
We weren't getting that sort of imagination in Scorpion.
No.
I like hatred of everything that lives, hatred of women, power
actually say that.
An ancient terror, Nathan.
Yeah.
Well, all of that's super interesting.
Do you know what I mean?
And it does exonerate Scotty, doesn't it?
Because he's not an ancient terror as far as we can tell.
Look at that lighting now.
That's so movie.
And then the lights just cut and you hear the scream.
And there she is and he's holding her and she's dead.
I am not. not entirely sure how that fella, you know, the murderer
managed to get around that table, kill her, and get back to his
seat that quickly. very small.
And why has Scotty always got the knife?
Yeah, he's just unlucky, it turns out. when the lights were out
someone handed it to me.
All right?
Yeah, but I'm expecting Kirk, look, he's standing there with his
hands on his hips.
I'm expecting.
We go Scotty, stop murdering people.
Stop stabbing people.
You're not doing your case any favour, Scotty, right?
We actually never find out why he doesn't remember the what
happened during the 1st 2 incidents either.
That's never established. whilst you sort of had some moments of
interest in the 1st sort of 20 minutes.
And do you think when we go onto the enterprise, that's when this
all falls apart?
Well, I still think the premise is basically misguided, but them
the very, very, long scene on the Enterprise is so wearing.
It's so bad.
If there was any pace for this, which there wasn't, it flattered
during that scene.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, you're sort of getting sort of the momentum's coming from
the murders. that's coming.
But then that just stops for a long exposition scene.
Yeah, so the murders are stupid.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, like, it's just a woman turns up, then she's stabbed and
Scotty has the knife as usual.
But you know what I mean?
That's why we watch procedure.
We like we do like that sort of stuff, you know?
That's why we watch Colombo and Poiro and things like that.
But there's no real mystery here because it's all space nonsense.
Do you know what I mean?
And, and, well, the thing is, like, those other shows, those sort
of procedural murder mystery shows.
There'll be plausible suspects and stuff.
And there's also, there's always a bit of interesting psychology
going on.
You usually, it's not just one person who's been cast from other
shows that's popular.
They just get a whole reef of people in, you know, Shatner turns
up in a Colombo, doesn't he?
Yeah, course.
But, yes, we're going to slowly torture Scotty to death.
That'll be fun.
That will never not be funny.
I prefer fast torture, you know.
Yeah.
So here we go.
This is the ad break.
And now we're we'll come back for a quick captain's log before we
go to the ship.
And so we're on the ship and it is just a scene that is dedicated
to spelling out this premise.
And there's no stakes.
Do you know what I mean?
Like there's just no, like there's just nothing kind of
happening.
Like we know that nothing's going to happen to Scotty, but it
never seems like Scotty gives an answer that's going to condemn
him.
Like there's never a moment where we kind of go, oh my god, you
know, things are going badly for Scotty right now.
Like that never happens.
All that happened is up to the task, however.
No, but I mean, like everyone else could look worried, you know
like, we could just do that. that never happens.
Well, there was rather table.
You know, you were those comforter scenes in next generation, where
they're all just round the table doing a fact finding exercise.
So the one thing that I really like about this scene, though, is
the computer with the flashing coloured lights.
No, the flashing coloured lights on the computer.
And I'm so disappointed.
Like I've got like 3 or 4 computers on the desk around me in my
pocket on my list.
Not a single one of them has those flashing coloured lights and
they look fucking fantastic.
They just look amazing.
Look at it.
And of course it's Major Barrett, you know, doing her computer
voice, as always, delightfully.
Let's not forget, you know, the collective orgasm that everybody
had when they heard her voice in that Picard series 3 episode.
So good.
Missed that one.
She played computer voices for a long, long time.
I'd say this is humble beginning, though, because she's sort of
doing cod monotone computer here, isn't she?
Yeah.
But I guess they had no way of knowing.
And that's the other thing here too, is that, of course, no one
here has the slightest idea of what a computer is or how it
works.
And so we will get this ridiculous way that they overcome the
computer, which is kind of funny and cheesy, but also just kind of
massively stupid as well.
Like, why do we, why don't we care?
Do we not care about Scotty?
I just, you're right.
It didn't feel like there were any states and yet he is up for
murder here.
Yeah, I think it's just because it's so stupid.
It's just like 3 stabby murders in quick succession and every
single time he's holding a knife or has blood on him, just sort of
thing.
Come on.
I'm usually guilty.
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
What did that get into my hand, honestly.
But is it that, you know, if the backstory wasn't so stupid, do
you know what I mean?
Like, if the backstory, you know, because clearly it's meant to be
possible that he's guilty because he's developed a resentment
towards women because of the explosion that, you know, Yeoman
something, Yeoman Rand caused or something, you know, and he was
injured.
And maybe he's had concussion from that explosion and that's why
his memory is affected.
So there's all these plausible reasons which leave open the
possibility that he's doing the stabbing.
But because those that aren't really plausible.
If they were going to do this nowadays, and please God, don't do
this nowadays.
But if they were going to do this nowadays, what you would have
done is, you know, the half season where you'd develop that he's
got a hatred for whatever reason or women or a particular race, and
then you'd be on that planet where it's women or a particular race
and it would have a lot of sort of build up.
Instead, it's just like a one line at the beginning of the
episode.
Well, he hates women because he, you know, that explosion
happened.
It's just so it's like, I'll tell you what it's like.
It's like that episode where Dr. McCoy is told at the beginning of
the episode in one line, Dr. McCoy, you're going to die.
And the whole episode...
It's not character development, is it?
It's not, and it's all, we've been packaged away in this one
episode.
It's very, I mean, stupid episode.
That's right.
What are they talking about?
So we're arguing about, like, I actually quite like this.
They're talking about what needs to be discovered for them to be
satisfied that Scotty isn't the murderer.
And, you know, both Angus and Jaris kind of agree, but their
tentative, you know, we, um, And I kind of like it.
You know, like Jaris is actually very sensible.
He says, all right, we're going to just say that Captain Kirk's
machine works the way that he says it does and will cooperate with
this investigation.
We think this is good, but I reserve the right to make the final
decision.
And all of that seems sort of reasonable and kind of sensible and
stuff, but just everything else that's happening here is really
stupid.
And presumably this guy, Morlo, or whatever his name is, he is
another suspect, but you know, we're just about to eliminate him
as a suspect.
Do you know what I mean?
How come the end of this agonisingly long sequence, all suspects
are blown out of the water because the thing just puffs into the
air, doesn't it?
and straight into the computer.
Yeah.
Yeah, but I mean, we get him telling his story while he's attached
to a lie detector and the lie detector immediately says, no, yep
he's fine.
You know, like, so what was the point of him?
It's not really much about red herring, is it?
Yeah, that's right.
I've never seen an Agatha Christie story, you know, where you've
had this whole reef of suspects and then all of a sudden this
magical cloud appears and that's all, you know, look, you have to
cede into the story.
For it to be satisfying, what the answer is, and yet it's like, no
no, we're doing this story.
Oh no, wait, we're doing this story instead.
Yeah.
No, this, well, and, you know, maybe that's okay.
Like maybe that's something Star Trek can do.
It can start somewhere and then go somewhere surprising as things
get out of hand.
Well, neither of the things are working, though.
That's the problem.
This doesn't work as a mystery.
And the, you know, piglet takes over the starship plot doesn't
work either.
Like...
I did love it.
When he was revealed to be the killer and he can finally play
psychotic for a second.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. pretty funny.
Performers comes alive in a spectacular way.
Oh, they're still talking, look.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is all that happens.
We're all just sitting around talking and you said at 15 minutes
over 15 minutes, this is the longest scene, I think.
In original trick, certainly.
I can't think of one in.
In later Trek, where...
Or much television, if I'm honest.
Yeah.
And this is just, it's all just info dump.
There is no character thing.
No one's winning at any point.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, it's just information being dumped.
And that's the problem.
There's no stakes.
It doesn't feel like anyone's under threat or anyone's striving to
do anything.
Red Jack.
Wouldn't it be great if he discovered that Red Jack was a frozen
dessert on, you know...
But like, effectively, this is a trial scene, isn't it?
Like people are giving statements, people are being exonerated
people are being questioned.
Yeah, but it's all very genial, isn't it?
Like, think about the trial, think about the trial, trial of Andra
or the trial in Metal of Man.
Don't you bring up ultra.
All right.
I love art.
That's much better than music.
Oh, we got on troll.
She could just pop into a lot of smoke and vanish.
No, but okay, think about the sharlin measure of a man or the drum
hits and things like that.
Yeah.
So they have.
So the purpose of this trial is to discover the premise of the
episode, which is that Jack the Ripper was really an alien who is
now here killing women, you know, 100s of years later. that you
were saying?
Things that only Star Trek could do.
Yeah, yeah, but this is a particularly boring and stupid thing
that Star Trek can do, unfortunately.
You know, so see, that's the problem here.
There's no stakes.
None of the characters is under threat.
Even though Scotty's, you know, brutally stabbed 3 women
probably.
I mean, imagine then, like, instead of him just popping into the
computer and the mad cackling that we hear, you had this sort of
top hat and tails with a nice shadow stalking women through
the...
Yeah, I'm reaching a bit, but it would be a bit more interesting.
Well, in fact, that's it.
It's the thing where we kind of decide we're going to do Jack the
Ripper because we like the violence against women, but we're not
going to do any of the kind of Victorian stuff.
But do you know what I mean?
It's like we're not going to do this Victorian stuff.
But I think there is there is something unpleasant about.
So this, this is the bit where we're having the conversation about
about why it targets women.
It targets women because women are scaredy cats.
But women are more scared than men.
And so it targets women.
And I think Spock's going to say it in a way that makes me want to
smack him in the face.
Do you know what I mean?
Even Peck would never say that.
Oh, women fear death more than men?
Well, I don't know.
Maybe that's what we thought in the 1960s or what men thought
anyway. you know what I mean?
Brought to you by the same people that brought you the Bible.
Yeah, well, look, we've got have we got a woman here?
I think we've got I think we might have yeoman Tankeras somewhere
in the background.
No, and she, basically, it's all men.
She comes in purely for when he goes psychotic, but he's got
someone to go after.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That sort of soul film.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
She doesn't say anything The one female we really have
contributing anything to this sequence is Majel Barrett as the
computer voice.
Yeah.
The other thing that I like here, which is kind of interesting is
that we're also learning a little bit about what sort of World
Star Trek operates in because we've got Spock asking the computer
like, and this is sort of boring.
I'm trying to eke out some interest here.
We ask, well done.
Can an entity feed on emotion, and we have an example of aliens
who live on the emotion of love?
So yes, we can do that.
And can an entity be like a ghost clown thing?
And we kind of go, yes, that's the sort of thing that can happen.
And given that Star Trek does have those things, you know, I mean
Star Trek does have aliens that feed on emotions, see, for
instance, um, uh, sub-rosa, um, so aliens that do feed on emotions
and stuff or fear, you know.
Well, that's both again, isn't it?
Roden both fed on Beverly's emotions and was a gaseous cloud.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
What was Michael McCean, apart from a clown called for you?
Yeah.
He was sort of in artificial reality, wasn't he?
Yeah, that's right.
That's right.
Yeah, so one of the things they're doing is exploring the limits
of the show, but given that the limits of the show are just being
made up to make this possible at this point. again, there's
nothing really here.
I mean, if the result of this episode is to give us further gems
like Subrosa and Lonely Among Us, I don't think this is a great
service to Star Trek.
I would watch either of those in a heartbeat over these.
Yeah, me too.
Seriously.
I mean, it ain't much of a conclusion to draw after 15 minutes of
exposition, though, is it?
No, that's right.
That's it.
We literally finding out what the premise is.
And then what do we do with the premise in the in the time that
remains, like in the 15 minutes that remains.
Here we go.
Spock, you prick. saying you're saying that women are more scared
than men.
Less Leonard Nemoy for saying it was such conviction as well.
Yeah, awful.
But then there's a woman here.
We get a woman here who's just sort of sitting, and he's some
previous famous women murderers.
Yeah, that's right.
That's right.
They're doing, there's another cliche that they're embedding here
that they use many times, especially in 90s trek, and that is, you
know, what planets has the murderer been on?
Oh, it just happens to be the same planets that you've been on. you
know?
Yeah.
So you're clearly a murderer.
I think suspicions, you know, the one where...
Yeah, they do this exactly.
Yeah.
So wait, it can't have been him or her because they weren't on
that 3rd planet.
It must be you.
Now, it's for you, and we had no way of knowing any of that. that
we're just pulling that information out of our arse now to convict
Hengus.
Suspicions is better than this as well.
Oh, not suspicions.
What am I talking about?
It's the one with the mind rape.
Oh, violation.
Violations.
That's better than this.
Oh, Nathan, they're still fucking talking.
I know, it's incredible, isn't it?
It's really bad.
And we're just again learning the backstory of this fucking thing
you know?
It's, it's incredibly tedious.
Like, it's a really nothing premise.
They absolutely draw out, you know, kind of explaining it to us.
They go to so much effort.
And the episode just holds.
I do quite like the look of horror on the killer's face now as
he's like, oh shit, those are all the planets that I've been on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
So he's not going to take the stand.
And then I think this speed is actually, there's actually quite a
great bit of violence here, like a bit of punching.
And we've said before, one of the great things about Star Trek is
that if we can have a fist fight, that's action that's quite cheap
to do.
Do you know what I mean?
Like it's not, you know, hugely expensive.
There's a much better version of the idea that they do now because
Spock says to him, you know, you're the, you're responsible for
law and and civility on this planet.
So I realise you're in a bit of a sticky problem here.
When Odo is the murderer in the alternate, they do exactly the
same thing.
But that's one of our regulars.
So we've got an automatic reason to give a shit.
Not this fella.
Yeah.
No, that's right.
That's right.
Yeah, that's another one where one of our people gets...
Yes, gets the title.
All right.
So are you going to do something now, Hengus, or are you just
going to stare looking blue-eyed?
I'm just doing something.
I mean, I would never say I'm there saying I want a woman to be
murdered, but I'm glad something's about to happen.
Oh, no, we're about to see again, we're about to find out what the
fucking knife is made out of.
No stone is left unturned in this episode.
Jesus Christ.
Guess what?
It just comes, point of origin is the cutlery shop, the kitchen
appliances shop down the road from where Mr. Hengist lives.
So boring.
Here he goes.
He's going to snap any second.
Look at how it goes.
Look, look at that stamen.
He's like, he's a foot taller.
His head his head is twice tall.
He's got a bald wig on.
He just leaps up and kicks Kirk in the chest, which is pretty
great.
He's got a lot shorter again.
Yeah, that's right.
So now he's escaped into the computer and we have...
I did like this, Nathan.
No, no.
Wait, because I like the weird voice that they used and the lights
are going down.
And again I'm like, what the fuck is happening here?
But this is 10 minutes.
So we've got 10 minutes ago and we've run out of things to do with
this premise.
And so the premises now that Jack the Ripper has control of the
Enterprise computer.
And he says a bunch of dumb things that aren't really scary and it
ends up not being very atmospheric.
Well, you feel like, you know, if Jack the Ripper had control of a
starship, I can't believe I just said those words.
But if he did.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, you could do some...
You could do some really probably some things, you know?
Yeah.
So we've, I mean, we've had the crew scared, haven't we?
And tents and stuff and fighting among themselves and hearing
voices over the scanner and not knowing what it is and being
afraid for their lives and stuff.
We've had real tension and stuff on the show before, but there's
none of that here.
And particularly since the way that they decide to solve the fear
problem is so fucking stupid.
We're just going to take a bunch of drugs.
We're going to take a bunch of drugs.
And this line actually made me laugh out loud, which is I've got
enough drugs to tranquillise an active volcano.
What is this?
Yeah, that's right.
That's, yeah, yeah.
Jesus Christ.
So now they're just going to take a fucking bunch of...
Whilst the computer's cackling and you're just like, well, I said
I like original Star Trek to be weird, but within reason.
No, and it's so stupid.
And there's rule one of drugs on television, which is everyone on
television has better drugs than you because like the way these
people behave on drugs is well and truly beyond the way that
anyone I know or have ever seen has behaved on drugs.
Oh, here's a moment where the lift is falling.
Sure, you've got the rippers in.
It should be trying to kill them all in various spectacular ways.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But, you know, like the lift's going to move and then he's going
to yell and then he's turning the live support off, but he's not
going to do that because he wants to make us scared 1st and blah
blah, blah.
Do you know what I mean?
It's all very... imagination here, isn't it?
Yeah.
In both parts of the plot, in the procedural murder mystery and in
this.
Yeah, I mean, just I just think this is bad.
So the 2 ways that they deal with this deal with the situation, oh
you're all going to die.
You know, um, so we all take a bunch of drugs so that we don't
care that we're going to be killed is step one.
And then the other step they have is they trick, they get the
computer to concentrate on calculating the last digit of pi.
And any, like, like there, Yeah, like the computer doesn't know
what any rational number is.
And so it sets about trying to calculate the last digit of pi
rather than saying it's an irrational number.
Look it up on Wikipedia, you stupid person.
There is no last digit of pi.
And so it's like, and that sort of stuff is kind of cute.
You know, the logical paradox, you know, Spock tells a logical
paradox to the computer and the computer blows up or whatever.
So there's something cute and Star Trek about it.
Yeah, we've been heading too.
No, they're missing where women are being killed.
Yeah, it's got nothing to do. with Jack the Ripper.
They literally distract the computer by getting it to do something
spectacularly dumb while they all get off their tits on fucking
whatever the hell.
I think Bones uses to tranquillise an active volcano. that's the
end of the episode.
Common complaint that you could have at Star Trek or bad Star Trek
is they think the idea is enough.
Yes, that's the problem. they think, oh, such an entire Jack the
Ripper is in charge of the enterprise, you know?
And he's going, you will all die horribly in searing pain.
And then you've got spot gang, he is attempting to generate terror
captain, and you can cut off the option.
Just fucking do it.
Stop talking to us.
And Sully's been to a lot of dance parties.
Look at it.
He's kicking in right now.
Oh, this is taking me back, Nathan.
I think there was a few Asian blokes involved as well, you know.
God, it's so bad.
So this is a class A compulsory directive, and it's just so dumb.
Compute to the last edge of the value of pi.
It's ridiculous.
I mean, at least you could say this is not a predictable episode.
Because you can never predict this is where we'd end up.
Yeah, that's exactly right.
And that could have been good if anything in the episode had been
good, but because everything's sort of terrible.
Do you think there's a lot of original series Star Trek like this
you know?
Have we just been extraordinarily lucky?
Look, I think we have been lucky and I think there are episodes
where you kind of go. actually they have worked out what they're
doing yet and that's the problem with what's happening.
But I mean, look at how stupid this is.
Like everyone's kind of greening and stuff.
It's just ridiculous. funny or is it scary?
No?
Well, I, no, I think it's stupid.
I mean, it's annoying.
I don't think it's scary.
But it's going for both, you know?
Because like when Jack the Reaper gets hold of the computer, all
he does is say, you will die horribly in searing pain.
Like, you know, like it doesn't do anything.
You see the fellow's back there with one. hands behind his head.
He can't even be bothered to act drunk.
Oh, yeah, wow.
It might take up knitting.
Oh, dear.
It's so bad, isn't it?
It's just super bad.
Well, you see, do you remember, do you remember the end of the
doomsday machine where we had that incredibly intense situation?
And then the comedy of Kirk going, hello, get me out of here now.
Yeah, gentlemen, beam me out, you know.
It was scary and it was funny.
They can do it.
Yeah.
And I think there were moments there that kind of fell flat that
weren't perfect that weren't what you would do now, but it was one
hell of a better, oh, like this.
This is so bad.
Now he's back in hand, and then, wait, wait, there is the stuntman
again, and there's him back.
Like, you can't object to that.
That's just stupid and that's TV production and stuff, but it is
kind of fun. the lights down, great. you know.
Die, die, die, everyone.
Look at these things that the scary thing is thinking of saying.
Everybody to die.
Yeah, kill you all.
Like, they're so bad.
It's so low effort, isn't it?
It's just so shit.
There's no effort drug acting going on in the corridor.
Yeah, yeah.
So now this guy who's at the at the transporter controls is
Lieutenant, Kyle, and he is in more than one of these episodes, but
the new Lieutenant, Kyle, in Strange New Worlds, who is the
transporter chief, who flirts with, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, flirts with that guy.
That should be different, doesn't he?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's much younger and much prettier and not blonde.
So now, now, um, now fucking Bones is raided the medicine cupboard
and he's off his face as well.
So, and we've just, you know, pressed the, the, it dispersed it
into space button.
Like, that's it.
We're done.
Do you know what I mean?
It's boring. pre-programmed laughter at the end of this one
because they're all high as fuck, you know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, and it even has that terrible kind of crap joke music.
Like it has the standard shitty.
We're doing a joke music at the end of a Star Trek episode.
So, so the conclusion here is we need to get it inside somebody
and then we need to beam that person out into space, that person
will die, but the force will live, but not on the ship.
Yeah, and we're not very clear about whether he's the guy or not.
Like, do you know what I mean?
Like, he seems to be the guy in a way that Scotty wasn't the guy.
But none of that is very clear because no one gives a shit, you
know, in the episode.
Oh, no, this.
We're going to go and sleaze onto some unfortunate women.
And then they decide not to for no reason and that's funny.
Yeah, don't. fucking sober down.
Spock's giving him a look.
Just like I would be.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, it's just super embarrassing.
Oh, that woman walked past off a face.
Look at that.
Oh, no, just saying she was paused waiting outside the door.
Go, go, go, go.
Oh, God.
Thank God that's over.
Enough for adventure.
I thought that was...
Yeah, terrible.
I don't think I've had so little to say about an episode since we
did dramatist persona.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I think it's because it is so bad, you know, like it just
fails to do anything at all.
And I think it's both premises are flawed.
The murder mystery and Jack the Ripper in charge of the ship.
Yeah.
But I think maybe with a lot of tweaking, like, could work.
Oh, look, yeah, I think if you wrote an episode, do you know what
I mean?
If you didn't just come up with an idea and then run that idea for
50 minutes until we all lost the will to live and had to take a
bunch of drugs, I guess, you know, but you have to write an
episode that has turns and that, you know, things change, people
learn things, not just having stuff coughed up to them, not just
having the premise explained to them.
But yeah, that, that, you know what?
When we were going through those 15 minutes, you were absolutely
right.
They were just literally covering all bases of the premise.
So spelling out the idea for 15 minutes.
Exactly.
There's no time to deal with it.
No.
Yeah, then we've got 10 minutes of it going die, die, die, kill
kill, until we make it start.
If you are going to do a storyline about a malevolent gaseous
entity.
At least have...
Gates McFadden masturbating to it or something like that, you
know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, no, I still think lonely among us where the captain beams
off the ship in order to go fucking nebula.
Like, I, you know, like neither of those episodes are successful.
You know, neither...
Lonely Among Us.
It's got that amazing subplot with the Sele and the Anton Bellibus
that are hunting each other through the ship.
It's like, yeah.
But both of them are functional bits of television in a way that
this just isn't at all.
That this one doesn't have a plot.
And so I think it's a failure in the League of Manhunt, which is
also just spinning out the running time until we hit the closing
credits.
And I think that this is what that's doing.
It's got maybe 2 ideas, but they never develop a plot around those
ideas.
They just beat the ideas to death.
Unlike manhunt, though.
I think this could have had potential.
Yeah, they just fudged it.
And you know, I think this might be, and we talked about this.
You know, these nowadays, they do how long's the season now?
Oh, like 10 episodes, right?
You're pretty sure on the whole, you're going to get 10 competent
bits of television, you know, which they're putting a lot of love
in.
You know, in original series adding 90s, they're churning out 25
odd episodes a year.
And so the eye's got to be off the ball at some and this is one of
those times, I think.
But it's also a thing that I sort of say a lot that we get better
at making and consuming television as time goes on. you know.
And in my lifetime, that's clearly happened.
The things that were, this was made before I was born.
But only just before I was born.
And in my lifetime television has got better at telling stories
and we've got better at consuming TV stories.
And I think that this is an incompetent hour of television, that
you know, I don't think it compares to anything quite in 90s trek
because they've come up with a premise and they've done nothing at
all with it.
All they've done is waste our time.
I don't think the premise is all that good.
I think it's borderline offensive, but it could have been made to
work, but no one seems to have felt the necessity of doing that.
But I think it's bad.
Well, say, compared to all in artist trek, except manhunt, which
is has exactly the same problem.
Yeah, well, yeah.
I mean, something like threshold, again, part of the problem with
that is it has an idea and it's unpleasant to watch and the ending
is stupid and maybe what's the one?
Is it, um, course oblivion, which again is sort of similar.
They have one idea.
It produces ridiculous visuals.
It's unpleasant to watch and it goes precisely.
But it's like a camp bit of schlock.
You can watch those episodes, you know, as I sort of so bad, it's
good.
Well, and this is maybe that, and there are probably people who
can enjoy that.
Do you know what I mean?
Like I can see it is camp and sort of ridiculous and stuff.
But I just think that the stabbing women to death elements of it.
Kind of, isn't it?
Yeah, just unpleasant. you know what's the biggest insult of all?
Do you know what's next?
you know what the next episode is after this?
No.
It's the trouble with Tribbles.
Wow.
Yeah, yeah.
They knew how to make good TV, but they didn't always succeed at
doing it, I think, is the problem.
All right, it's the end of the episode, and it is time for us to
work out what we're going to watch next, and you had the
randomiser last time Joe, so it's my turn now, and we're going to
pick a random 90s trek episode.
That's a super boring premise, but let's just go with that.
Well, 2 things.
One is I'm angry because I don't get to press the button, but two
I'm happy that fucking episode is over.
Press the button.
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, dear.
Your random Star Trek Voyager episode is Cathexus from season
one.
Do you know what that one is?
Is it Chakotay becomes a disembodied deadly floating around the
ship?
In series one. churning out that nonsense in the 1st year.
Press it, okay.
Ridiculous.
Okay.
Oh, this is kind of terrible as well.
This is part of the Star Trek, the Next Generation, the season 7
festival of finding and or losing family members.
It could be anyone in the regulars then.
Yeah.
So it's interface.
So we get Geordie loses his mum.
It has some interesting visuals and stuff, but it is kind of
boring. incredibly boring.
And this was boring.
So I don't think we should do 2 boring ones on the troll.
No, let's try another one.
Ooh.
Oh, okay.
This is an important one to both of us for very strange reason.
Here we go.
Your random Star Trek Deep Space 9 episode is season two, episode
six, Melora.
Oh my god.
It's Daphne Ashbrook.
Yeah, Daphne Ashbrook is in it. whom I haven't met.
Have you met Daphne Ashbrook?
Well, no, but I've been made to listen to autobiography, which
went on for 8 hours, so I feel as if I have.
Yeah.
Has Mark met her?
Uh, no, but I did do a um, a cameo video for him where she, I was
declaring my love to him.
And so she's going, well, Mark, I thought I was going to write you
a love song or a love poem for Joe, but instead I'm just going to
declare his love for you.
It's sorry.
So you paid Daphne Ashbrook as part of the seduction process.
Is that what you're saying?
Yes.
Okay, that's awesome.
Guess what?
We're still together a year later.
It worked.
Do you know, I will just I just say one thing about Melora, though
because because we're not going to do it.
It has the all-time most stupidest design of alien creature.
I don't know if you recall, but his nose and his mouth are
connected, right?
With like a, you know, a bit of flesh.
And then they force him to do an eating scene.
It's literally 100% Beaumont.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. is pretty bad.
All right.
Okay, let's try another one.
Your random Star Trek Deep Space 9 episode is season five, episode
21.
Soldiers of the Empire.
Oh, that was Ron Moore trying to do his Klingon spinoff.
It was basically like a backdoor pilot.
Oh, wow.
Or a Kling hospital, but we have done a lot of DS9 lately.
Okay.
All right.
Should I take DS9 off the table?
Possibly, yeah, maybe just for this one.
Yeah.
Okay, all right.
Let's try again.
It is a shame because Dax is brilliant in that episode.
Oh, you're smiling.
So you're smiling.
Yeah.
This is kind of a terrible episode, but I sort of like it.
So it's your random Star Trek, the Next Generation episode is the
masterpiece society.
What's that?
That's Deanna has sex with the leader of a planet and gets in
trouble.
Is it that one?
No, no, no, no. as a whisper from season two.
So this is a planet that's a very planned planet where everyone
has their role and assigned genetic, you know, partners and stuff
like that. and Deanna goes down there and is having sex with the
leader of the planet and wrecking the whole thing.
Really well characterising this.
I seem to remember when I was watching through and I'm like, ooh
they're getting her right.
I think this is where we 1st learn about chocolate, that she's a
bit of a kinky bitch.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I think maybe we should do that one.
Yeah, why not?
Okay, that sounds like fun.
I seem to remember the fella that she's fucking is pretty hot as
well.
Yeah, I think he is good looking.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think that'd be fun.
And at last, a Troy episode.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brilliant.
You've been listening to entitled Star Trek with Joe Fawn and
Nathan Bottomley.
We're online at Untitled Star Trek Project.com, where you can find
links to our Twitter, Mastodon, Facebook and YouTube channel.
Our podcast artwork is by Kayla Citrin, and the theme was composed
by Cameron Lamb.
This episode was recorded on the 9th of May 2023 and released on
the 19th of May.
We'll see you next time for Star Trek the Next Generation, the
Masterpiece Society.
Wow.
I think we should start on that line.
And you have to make good TV.
Yeah.
I always have the out.
You have the out.
Okay, I'll have the out.
You have more interesting things to say about that bit of nonsense
than I did.
I got so angry about it and I think that...
That's always a good movie.
Oh, so bad.
It's your turn.
Oh, is that?
Yeah.
I have to think.
God, whatever it is, it ain't gonna be as much of a struggle as
that was.
No.
I said, so this Friday, it's a very important day.
Um, Go on.
So this Friday, it's a very important day, obviously, because
uh...
Is your birthday, isn't it?
Is it this Friday?
Friday is my birthday.
I was trying to forget about it, but yeah, thank you.
That's what I thought.
Sorry.
Why are you trying to forget about it?
Oh, we free?
I don't want to celebrate getting older anymore.
Yeah, well, what's the option?
We're going away and that's going to be not.
I still don't know what...
No clue.
So, breath, the next Zelda game, which is called Tears of the
Kingdom. comes out and I literally spent 100s of hours playing
Breath of the Wild and exploring this massive space and stuff and
it's a really engaging game and it's fun.
The music's beautiful.
It's beautifully designed.
It's really engrossing.
It's coming out.
It's been delayed, it's coming up this Friday.
And um, So I said, oh, well, I'm, I'm, and the exams are
happening.
And so I said, I know we'll just do a short trek.
I'm like, wait.
But I'm not going to do that.
Although we have only done one short.
I hate that, aren't we?
Yeah that's right.
Oh, I see.
So you'd have to make it scorpion.
No, no, I'm editing Scorpion tomorrow and the night after, and
then I'll edit this one for the following week, and so it doesn't
matter.
I'm joking.
We won ahead.
What should we do?
Let's not do original or animated or a film.