WEBVTT

NOTE
This transcript was created on 2026-09-25 at 13:59:05

1
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Hey, Joe. Hi.

2
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So, we are back on board the Enterprise D for season two, episode four, the outrageous O'Connor.

3
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This is the 3rd episode we've done of season 2 after all this time, and the other 2 episodes are manhunt and up the long ladder, and I'm going to get you to rank them for me.

4
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Oh, please.

5
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Rank those three.

6
00:00:54.299 --> 00:00:56.399
Well, I mean, okay.

7
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So manhunt would be at the bottom by a country mile, right?

8
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Yeah, that was just agonisingly bad.

9
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Um, I think I put the outrageous O'Connor in the middle.

10
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And I had quite a bit of fun with up the long ladder.

11
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Mostly because of that terribly sexy woman, you know, oh, William, don't you find me attractive?

12
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You know, that woman.

13
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I thought she was fabulous.

14
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Whereas this sort of sits in the middle of awfulness, but it does take the award of being the most stupidest episode of all three.

15
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So I have to say that I agree with you.

16
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That's how I would rank them too.

17
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But manhunt and this have something in common, and I'm also thinking maybe there's another episode, the name of which I can't remember, you might be able to think of it.

18
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It's the season 2 episode where we have no writers and so what we do is we get a guest star to come on board and have all of the actors react to that guest star and then we kind of run out the clock until the episode end.

19
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That is season two, isn't it?

20
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That is season two.

21
00:02:05.939 --> 00:02:09.120
So Laxana in Manhunt is absolutely that.

22
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They just rely on her to come on and do sort of like Xana things until it's time for closing credits.

23
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This one with William O. Campbell coming on as O'Connor.

24
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Again, we just get everyone reacting to them.

25
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Something dumb happens and then it all ends.

26
00:02:23.879 --> 00:02:26.520
And what's the one where Riker's father comes on board.

27
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Oh, Christ.

28
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I quite like that one because he's flirting outrageously with Pulaski because they used to fuck, didn't they?

29
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So that's quite a fun.

30
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No, I can't remember.

31
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They played the Parisi Squares game, though.

32
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It's quite near the end of the season, isn't it?

33
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where we truly have run out of plots by that point.

34
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Yeah, yeah.

35
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And so so it's nothing.

36
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And the weird thing about it is it seems to have been written by someone who has never observed human behaviour.

37
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Is that fair?

38
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I did note this whilst I was watching yes.

39
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Except Councillor Troy, who's particularly observant of human behaviour in this episode, you know?

40
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It's unbelievable, isn't it?

41
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Like no one behaves like a normal person and it's not just their normal space people thing where they're from the 24th century and they have massive sticks up their butts and no one can relax because they're very serious.

42
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It's just that they behave in ways that are completely inexplicable.

43
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We have a B plot with data that doesn't resolve itself or go anywhere or make any decision about anything.

44
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It just stops when the episode runs out.

45
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You've got Whoopi Goldberg, who was a massive get for the show, who we should be eternally grateful, agreed to participate in our stupid franchise, and they're getting her delivering just the worst non-joke jokes that you have ever heard.

46
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And I was just super embarrassed for her because she's a funny person who was famous for being funny in films at the time and she comes on and she's just utterly po-faced and is delivering dialogue written by people who don't understand what a joke is despite having at some point looked it up in a dictionary.

47
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And God, she saw Nichelle back in the day when she was a kid.

48
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You know, fabulous story of her going, mom, black woman on the TV, and she ain't a maid.

49
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You know, I forgot that happened, you know, like, otherwise, you never would have looked at this script and gone, oh, please, sign me up, you know.

50
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I mean, yeah, that's a plot.

51
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I mean, it's a comedy subplot about comedy, which in no way manages to be funny or instruct you about comedy.

52
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It's bafflingly like bereft of any humour.

53
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Yeah, it's really strange.

54
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It's extremely strange.

55
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And, and, you know, like presumably these people have laughed and they've seen stand-up comedians.

56
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Like, I don't know why Joe Piscopo comes on this show after being on Saturday Night Live forever and kind of thinks that this is in any way acceptable.

57
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Why isn't he phoney his agent and asking to get out of it?

58
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Why didn't he rewrite the script?

59
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He could have said, oh, can make this funny for you?

60
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You know?

61
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Terrible writers.

62
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Like, okay, now I will say there's one big plus in this episode, yeah?

63
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And that's William Campbell.

64
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I think he is really relaxed.

65
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He's the only character that comes into this entire episode that doesn't feel like a weird fusion of robotic functions.

66
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And he said, bar, Jesus Christ, we're back in, where are we?

67
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87, 88.

68
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Sexual politics are in a very different sort of a place.

69
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When he emerges from the transport beam and starts chatting up from desperate housewives, Terry Hatcher on the console.

70
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And Riker's just sitting there going, oh, what a charming rogie is, you know, sexually exploiting the transporter woman over there.

71
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And then when they walk out.

72
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What's the line he has?

73
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It was unbelievably sexist.

74
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Well, we get there, I'll say it.

75
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And then he goes straight to her quarters and fucks her.

76
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And then he goes and fucks somebody else and Picard goes, well, I have no objections to you socialising with my crew.

77
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I thought, what is happening?

78
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This bloating fun palace in the sky.

79
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But, I mean, that's horny rod and bree tree, isn't it?

80
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It's just dismal though.

81
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Isn't it embarrassing to watch?

82
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I mean, they even put in the Saxe porn music at one point. when he comes to...

83
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I thought, bloody hell, we truly are in the lay 80s.

84
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But worst of all is the what you'd laughably call a plot in this thing.

85
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All of the people that have settles to score with the outrageous O'Connor for the dreadful things that he's done to women and jewels. and how that plot is resolved is the most signposted twist I have ever seen in a Star Trek episode.

86
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I was just waiting for all of these dull hours to catch up with me.

87
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Oh, it's just weird.

88
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It's so desperately low effort isn't it?

89
00:07:05.579 --> 00:07:06.899
And it's so low effort.

90
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I mean, we just spend a lot of time, again, just marking time, using up running time so that we have an episode at the end of this process to put on TV despite the writer's strike.

91
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So we're really just kind of marking time.

92
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And then we get this plot, which is so basic and so kind of rudimentary and is resolved in such a boring way and is acted by such horrifically kind of untalented people.

93
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Oh boy.

94
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The woman.

95
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I can't remember the woman's name, but she is something else.

96
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Has anyone thought to ask me what I think about this situation?

97
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Yeah, so that's Rosalind Allen who has gone on to have a massive career.

98
00:07:50.339 --> 00:07:59.759
So that's a thing and her little boyfriend in it goes on to be in an episode of Enterprise season one called Fortunate Sun.

99
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So I don't know anything about that.

100
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Move over, Gene Simmons.

101
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We've got a new MVP of DNG in this pair.

102
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.

103
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I mean, I believe the pair of them were in a relationship at the end of this, that great reveal, you know?

104
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He was the father of the child.

105
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Amazing stuff.

106
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It's most odd that they both turn up at the same time.

107
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The 2 parts of this plot that make no sense without each other.

108
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If they didn't turn up exactly the same time with complaints about O'Connor, this plot couldn't play out.

109
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We wouldn't have an episode, would we?

110
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And that's why they do.

111
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I will have intense fun taking the Mickey out of all of the terrible TNG crew.

112
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I mean, it's really bad.

113
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Stiff.

114
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I've seen them before, but they were, what did Troy say in encounter a Far Point?

115
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He's frozen.

116
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I mean, they just... there's nothing happening.

117
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There's a wonderful moment where I kind of walks into a room and he's sort of slouching and everyone else is standing really rigid.

118
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Poor Patrick Stewart.

119
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He just doesn't have a clue at this point, does he?

120
00:09:07.259 --> 00:09:08.220
No, no.

121
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So the guest star who plays O'Connor is, as you said, William O'Campbell, although generally he's now called Billy Campbell, and he auditioned for Riker, and he was the runner-up.

122
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He was the runner-up.

123
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He lost to Jonathan Frey.

124
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I love Frakes, but he is cuter than Frakes.

125
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I think I wouldn't even for eggs.

126
00:09:28.379 --> 00:09:29.759
Yeah, I wouldn't have objected.

127
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Maybe the thing is, he's a bit young, so he's like Frank's is 36 when this episode goes out and he's 29 and he is very babyfaced.

128
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He's very very pretty.

129
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And he was in Tales of the City.

130
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I don't know if you remember.

131
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He was Michael's hot doctor boyfriend, who is he's just beautiful.

132
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He's such a pretty man.

133
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He was in, right, a show that I'd long forgotten, but back in the misty dawns, about this time, I think it was, with Ali Walker called Moon over Miami.

134
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It only ran for like 9 episodes and it was this detective base and they were like the moonlighting couple, him and Alex.

135
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It was fabulous.

136
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I mean, it had a terrible jazz score runner.

137
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That sounded like a porn movie as well, what is?

138
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But he was wonderful and he had a great sort of co-lead and their chemistry.

139
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It was like moonlighting in how they interacted with each other.

140
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I think he's a good actor.

141
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I just think he's wandered into, well, this...

142
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But he is probably the best thing about it.

143
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Fucking my, undoubtedly.

144
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You go rude to any review of this.

145
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They'll say he's the biggest problem in this episode.

146
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Really?

147
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Go reach others.

148
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I mean, Jesus Christ, he thinks he thinks the character of O'Connor is the problem in this episode.

149
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He thinks the character of the comedian.

150
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You know, unlike the very serious, wonderful TNG crew, you know, just going about their business.

151
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Like absolute Martians this week.

152
00:11:04.259 --> 00:11:06.360
Will you just say the quote, I know you want to.

153
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The quote from online that you saw last week.

154
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Yeah.

155
00:11:10.980 --> 00:11:20.639
So, so, I'd just been watching some strange new worlds and really enjoying them and is this what you want?

156
00:11:20.700 --> 00:11:21.120
Yes.

157
00:11:21.120 --> 00:11:21.899
Oh, yes.

158
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Yes, it's very relevant to this episode.

159
00:11:25.259 --> 00:11:30.360
So this is one of the commenters on Jammer's Review side.

160
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I wish we had a new trek show in which serious, intelligent, far future scientists, explorers, and diplomats work on a realistic, well-run space vessel and face thought-provoking, unique and intelligently written problems or situation?

161
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I mean, this is not sweetheart.

162
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This did not provide us that?

163
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I mean, once this episode.

164
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Seriously wrong.

165
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I mean, Riker was encouraging sexual harassment.

166
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For God's sake.

167
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It's so bad.

168
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So funny.

169
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What did GNT say?

170
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The memory cheats.

171
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I think it does.

172
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Memory cheats.

173
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I regret does.

174
00:12:11.820 --> 00:12:12.299
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

175
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Look, I'm sure if you watch this when you were 10, you thought it was fantastic, but I was 19 and I didn't.

176
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It's worth mentioning.

177
00:12:20.580 --> 00:12:22.620
Yeah, we went back to like best of both worlds, right?

178
00:12:22.679 --> 00:12:38.759
Which we said is iconic and was memorable for all sorts of reasons, but also it's a slow dated production with a kind of lack of action and dynamism and suspense compared to much of what comes later.

179
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Now, we'll give that, that is iconic.

180
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I mean, this is all of that stuff, and it isn't iconics.

181
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This has nothing going for it at all.

182
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And I do think that, you know, like it is telling that both lower decks and prodigy have brought O'Connor back because he is memorable.

183
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He is their attempt to do a sort of Harry Mund, I guess, like someone striking and a little bit, you know, roguish, but they've kind of, they've already got Mrs. Troy, and they've already got Q, haven't they?

184
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So they don't need.

185
00:13:13.080 --> 00:13:18.659
I mean, why don't you, instead of just keep bringing in fun characters, just make your regular characters fun.

186
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Yeah, that's right.

187
00:13:22.919 --> 00:13:28.559
They're constantly bringing fun characters on board to create a contrast with our...

188
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Do you remember Kira?

189
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When they're about to shrink O'Brien and Bashir, laughing around off, you know, these characters can be fun.

190
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That's right.

191
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That's right.

192
00:13:36.600 --> 00:13:43.500
And remember, like in Picard series 3, when they're not sort of agonising about things, they can be fun and funny.

193
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And, you know, like even later in the run of this show.

194
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I mean, we've seen disaster.

195
00:13:48.539 --> 00:13:56.879
And, you know, that's not brilliant, but it is, you know, the closest that TNG gets to a comedy and it's brilliant because everyone's enjoyable in it.

196
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Oh, yeah, yeah.

197
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It is kind of cool.

198
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Remember Ke-Co?

199
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I'm trying.

200
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P But this, yeah, just miserable staff. absolutely terrible.

201
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Yeah, I mean, I am starting to come to the conclusion that Diana Muldar aside, who I don't remember seeing in his episode at all.

202
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So that's another point, not in its favour, that season 2 might be the Nadir of TNG and not one.

203
00:14:30.899 --> 00:14:40.860
I mean, it might be bad in all sorts of ways, but we've already discussed one is bad in sort of risk taking and amusing sort of ways.

204
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This is just nothing.

205
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There's just nothing.

206
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Yeah.

207
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On that note.

208
00:14:47.220 --> 00:14:47.700
Let's do it.

209
00:14:47.700 --> 00:14:49.860
I think we should press by.

210
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I'm rare and...

211
00:14:51.240 --> 00:14:52.980
Actually, no, I really am raring to go.

212
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I enjoyed watching this on my own. enjoy watching it with you more.

213
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Excellent.

214
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All right.

215
00:14:58.500 --> 00:15:00.360
Well, I will count as it in that case.

216
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Five, four, three, two, one, and we are off.

217
00:15:07.559 --> 00:15:09.539
That shot of the Enterprise again.

218
00:15:10.019 --> 00:15:13.440
I desperately want to count how many episodes start with that shot.

219
00:15:13.919 --> 00:15:15.539
But I reckon it may be most of it.

220
00:15:15.539 --> 00:15:19.259
Yeah, because every single one, possibly all of them.

221
00:15:19.740 --> 00:15:22.200
Now have we got rid of the sort of slouching chairs yet?

222
00:15:23.519 --> 00:15:24.720
I can't quite tell.

223
00:15:24.960 --> 00:15:26.580
No, I don't I think we might have.

224
00:15:26.820 --> 00:15:27.659
I think we might have.

225
00:15:27.720 --> 00:15:29.159
They don't seem to be quite so slumped.

226
00:15:29.340 --> 00:15:31.200
Another thing I noticed in this episode as well.

227
00:15:31.379 --> 00:15:36.539
They're still right in wharf as this sort of snarling, primitive, weird animal.

228
00:15:36.899 --> 00:15:37.259
Yeah.

229
00:15:37.320 --> 00:15:39.120
I thought he was coming onto it.

230
00:15:39.179 --> 00:15:41.519
Look at how Troy walks in like a rag doll.

231
00:15:41.519 --> 00:15:45.480
No, she's got somewhere important to go.

232
00:15:45.720 --> 00:15:48.000
She is holding her arms out in a very strange way.

233
00:15:48.419 --> 00:15:53.159
I need to be at his right hand side in case he needs savvy psychological advice.

234
00:15:53.759 --> 00:15:58.620
Oh my god, in case the audience at home have never watched television before.

235
00:15:59.460 --> 00:16:02.700
I mean, like this comes out in 1988.

236
00:16:02.940 --> 00:16:09.240
We have had 10 years of Han Solo and we need O'Connor explain to us.

237
00:16:09.299 --> 00:16:10.379
It's very strange.

238
00:16:11.460 --> 00:16:14.580
There's no, I did love these model shots, though.

239
00:16:16.200 --> 00:16:17.340
Yeah, they're new.

240
00:16:17.399 --> 00:16:19.620
Oh, special effects.

241
00:16:19.860 --> 00:16:21.720
I did like these CGI effects, though.

242
00:16:24.539 --> 00:16:27.000
Oh, I just like how sort of crappy the ships look.

243
00:16:27.120 --> 00:16:27.899
Yeah, isn't it?

244
00:16:28.080 --> 00:16:28.620
supposed to be.

245
00:16:28.799 --> 00:16:29.580
They are pretty good.

246
00:16:29.700 --> 00:16:30.539
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

247
00:16:30.600 --> 00:16:32.940
They're little tiny, crappy ships, which is kind of cute.

248
00:16:34.919 --> 00:16:36.419
Wolf, come on, you're not doing much.

249
00:16:36.480 --> 00:16:38.580
Get out of the polish and clean that wooden rail.

250
00:16:42.000 --> 00:16:44.279
Oh, I've had the 1st thing that we see is he's bomb.

251
00:16:46.320 --> 00:16:48.120
Oh, hello, stay there.

252
00:16:48.779 --> 00:16:50.039
Billy, just stay there.

253
00:16:50.220 --> 00:16:51.779
Beat him on board, just like that.

254
00:16:55.860 --> 00:16:57.059
Actually, I think his hair.

255
00:16:57.120 --> 00:16:59.220
Oh look, Troy's immediately missing.

256
00:16:59.279 --> 00:17:04.079
His hair doesn't look too bad there, but when he comes on board the ship, it's ponytail with someone else.

257
00:17:05.220 --> 00:17:07.619
Yeah, yeah, but that was the 90s though.

258
00:17:07.680 --> 00:17:10.500
I mean, people had ponies. as well.

259
00:17:10.500 --> 00:17:11.400
Do you remember the mullet?

260
00:17:11.819 --> 00:17:12.960
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

261
00:17:14.039 --> 00:17:14.940
I have a mullet back there.

262
00:17:15.119 --> 00:17:15.599
Absolutely.

263
00:17:15.660 --> 00:17:16.619
You got a picture of that.

264
00:17:16.740 --> 00:17:21.420
I must see it. somewhere.

265
00:17:22.200 --> 00:17:24.599
I can't imagine you were that much air, you know.

266
00:17:25.019 --> 00:17:25.980
Oh my god.

267
00:17:26.039 --> 00:17:27.059
Now have a look.

268
00:17:27.119 --> 00:17:31.859
The word that seems best to describe him is rogue. and it's just like, are we all morons?

269
00:17:32.039 --> 00:17:34.380
We all suffered recent savage blow to the head?

270
00:17:34.680 --> 00:17:37.920
Like, why are you having to explain that to the audience at home?

271
00:17:38.099 --> 00:17:39.299
It's so bad?

272
00:17:39.900 --> 00:17:42.359
And then just to have data.

273
00:17:42.420 --> 00:17:43.980
So then go, uh, rogue?

274
00:17:44.039 --> 00:17:44.700
What does that mean?

275
00:17:44.819 --> 00:17:46.319
Oh, yeah, it's a rogue.

276
00:17:46.319 --> 00:17:47.880
Just suggest it from my memory banks.

277
00:17:47.940 --> 00:17:48.720
It means this.

278
00:17:49.980 --> 00:17:51.839
Why does he not put the word wrong?

279
00:17:52.140 --> 00:17:53.819
Why does he not know one and joke?

280
00:17:53.880 --> 00:17:55.740
Three years old watching this episode?

281
00:17:58.619 --> 00:18:04.140
Oh, and the bit where they lock onto the ship that's tracked to be, it's done as a whole sort of set piece, isn't it?

282
00:18:04.380 --> 00:18:05.039
That's it.

283
00:18:05.160 --> 00:18:06.240
Line up the ships.

284
00:18:06.240 --> 00:18:07.799
Wesley, press the button.

285
00:18:07.980 --> 00:18:08.640
Boo!

286
00:18:08.700 --> 00:18:09.299
There you go.

287
00:18:09.359 --> 00:18:09.779
Well done.

288
00:18:11.160 --> 00:18:15.599
But again, like everything just heats up as much time as it possibly can.

289
00:18:16.380 --> 00:18:17.819
But it's a sort of special effect.

290
00:18:18.059 --> 00:18:26.279
I'm wondering if part of that set behind Billy Campbell is a screen showing something on it.

291
00:18:26.880 --> 00:18:30.599
Um, you know, like as if it was the effects wall or something.

292
00:18:30.660 --> 00:18:31.680
We're not going back to him now.

293
00:18:31.740 --> 00:18:32.940
Now we can't see.

294
00:18:33.059 --> 00:18:34.079
No, we'll never know.

295
00:18:34.500 --> 00:18:57.839
But do you notice that there was a little thing there where Riker said Riker is smiling and Picard says something funny and he says, oh, you know, the unexpected is our normal routine or whatever, which is not really particularly funny, but there are lines all the way through where people say funny things or talk about saying funny things that aren't just in the B plot.

296
00:18:58.140 --> 00:19:04.799
Um, and like, for a show that is, like, it's so bad at humour.

297
00:19:05.279 --> 00:19:16.019
Um, And this one, more than anything else, where, you know, every joke is bad, except for one, which is coming, which I think is a joke.

298
00:19:16.079 --> 00:19:17.519
We'll love the argument.

299
00:19:19.859 --> 00:19:22.559
I think it's someone slamming this script.

300
00:19:24.240 --> 00:19:26.880
Is it Maurice Hurley going, who wrote this whole shit?

301
00:19:27.539 --> 00:19:30.359
Can you have data point out that that is not a funny joke?

302
00:19:30.539 --> 00:19:31.079
Please.

303
00:19:32.160 --> 00:19:33.420
It's not even a joke.

304
00:19:33.539 --> 00:19:38.279
And the scenes with the comedian, look, we haven't got time to rewrite all of those as well. put it out.

305
00:19:39.539 --> 00:19:46.140
But the Jerry Lewis thing, which is the worst part of that scene, is Joe Piscopo's idea.

306
00:19:46.500 --> 00:19:50.579
Like that's that's them ad-libbing. it's so embarrassing.

307
00:19:50.880 --> 00:19:55.019
When was that sort of tripping about goonish comedy ever funny?

308
00:19:55.500 --> 00:19:57.839
Yeah, yeah, it was...

309
00:19:57.900 --> 00:19:59.579
I just don't find it...

310
00:19:59.640 --> 00:20:10.859
No, so when Picard, when Data says, so when Data says, um, so if I put on stupid teeth, put in stupid fake teeth and jump around like a complete idiot, that makes me laugh.

311
00:20:10.859 --> 00:20:13.680
That makes me laugh, but it's a jump around like an idiot.

312
00:20:15.119 --> 00:20:16.140
That's what's happening.

313
00:20:16.500 --> 00:20:18.779
Status critique on everyone else's humour.

314
00:20:18.839 --> 00:20:19.920
This is the funniest thing.

315
00:20:20.279 --> 00:20:21.059
Yeah, that's right.

316
00:20:21.240 --> 00:20:22.619
Oh, here we go, look.

317
00:20:23.640 --> 00:20:24.660
Level up the ships.

318
00:20:25.920 --> 00:20:27.059
Oh, yeah, yeah.

319
00:20:27.119 --> 00:20:28.440
And see, this is a bit like...

320
00:20:28.440 --> 00:20:30.359
Did you notice the music in this one as well?

321
00:20:30.420 --> 00:20:33.480
Like, in this point where we're just doing a very standard process here.

322
00:20:33.779 --> 00:20:34.859
It was very exciting.

323
00:20:35.099 --> 00:20:44.099
But then later on, when Worf is asked to go and get O'Connor, right, and we're doing handheld camera work and the music's going like, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.

324
00:20:44.220 --> 00:20:45.779
He's only going to get him to bring him to the bridge.

325
00:20:47.039 --> 00:20:48.059
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

326
00:20:48.119 --> 00:20:48.539
So bad.

327
00:20:48.779 --> 00:20:50.519
Oh, look, it's Terry Hatcher.

328
00:20:51.720 --> 00:20:53.279
Bond girl, Terry Hatcher.

329
00:20:53.819 --> 00:20:58.079
I preferred her in desperate housewives when she used to trip over and set houses on fire and things.

330
00:20:59.339 --> 00:21:02.880
Remember, she's the one with spectacular breasts in Seinfeld.

331
00:21:03.539 --> 00:21:06.960
Oh, and of course, Lois in New Adventures of Superman.

332
00:21:07.259 --> 00:21:11.700
She's now disassociated herself from...

333
00:21:11.759 --> 00:21:13.380
Yeah, it's funny.

334
00:21:13.440 --> 00:21:17.519
She goes, but you weren't doing any of that, got bothering stuff when we were making the new Adventures of Superman.

335
00:21:18.240 --> 00:21:20.039
She goes, I wonder when they got hold of him.

336
00:21:21.000 --> 00:21:27.000
Yeah, yeah, yeah. when he didn't have a career anymore. was joining Kid Rock with all the other losers.

337
00:21:27.779 --> 00:21:29.880
Watch this now as he goes over to terror.

338
00:21:29.940 --> 00:21:30.839
Oh, we look so hot there.

339
00:21:31.079 --> 00:21:31.980
William Campbell.

340
00:21:32.099 --> 00:21:32.519
Oh my god.

341
00:21:33.059 --> 00:21:33.539
Please.

342
00:21:33.960 --> 00:21:35.160
No, he's so pretty.

343
00:21:36.299 --> 00:21:38.579
You press my transporter buttons, William Campbell.

344
00:21:39.119 --> 00:21:40.920
But he goes over to Terry Hatcher, right?

345
00:21:41.579 --> 00:21:45.420
starts chatting her up and all 4 of them just stand there and watch him.

346
00:21:45.960 --> 00:21:46.799
Admiring.

347
00:21:47.940 --> 00:21:51.299
Yeah, yeah, there is, like, this is not working.

348
00:21:51.359 --> 00:21:59.819
It is ham fisted, but there is the Roddenbury future where people are just down to Fark.

349
00:22:00.059 --> 00:22:06.539
And so that's why Picard says, you know, you're free to socialise with my crew however much you like.

350
00:22:07.079 --> 00:22:20.759
But the trouble is that in the Roddenbury future, where everyone's down to fuck, people are also just incredibly sleazy, like the men are just really creepy, and these lines, like who is talking like that to people?

351
00:22:20.819 --> 00:22:22.500
Who pulls saying that to people?

352
00:22:22.680 --> 00:22:27.420
And she does say, I'm sure you've said that to my lady before it was way more true than it is now.

353
00:22:27.900 --> 00:22:30.660
She's more naturalistic than any of the TNG world.

354
00:22:30.839 --> 00:22:31.859
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

355
00:22:31.980 --> 00:22:34.799
And she takes her name off the credits.

356
00:22:34.980 --> 00:22:35.819
Did you notice that?

357
00:22:37.319 --> 00:22:39.720
Well, I think she was going to have a bigger role.

358
00:22:39.960 --> 00:22:41.579
I think she was gonna have a bigger role.

359
00:22:41.700 --> 00:22:43.259
I mean, she's beautiful.

360
00:22:44.880 --> 00:22:47.519
She needed like an Ashley Judd style role in the game, you know?

361
00:22:47.579 --> 00:22:49.079
A big juicy role like that.

362
00:22:49.680 --> 00:22:57.059
But, yeah, I mean, wait, what's the line that Ryker says when I come out, I'm waiting for it, because I just said, that is unbelievable.

363
00:22:57.119 --> 00:22:59.279
It says, that's what they call sex or something like that.

364
00:23:00.000 --> 00:23:01.859
He's got a smooth thing.

365
00:23:01.859 --> 00:23:05.819
Now that's a big libido... sexual attraction, yeah.

366
00:23:05.880 --> 00:23:08.099
In any context, it's not part of my problem.

367
00:23:08.160 --> 00:23:09.240
Oh, fuck off.

368
00:23:13.319 --> 00:23:15.599
But you're right, but yeah, fine.

369
00:23:15.660 --> 00:23:19.440
There can be all very Lucian fucker over they want in their future, fair enough, right?

370
00:23:19.500 --> 00:23:23.099
But they're still at work. and fuck her over the console whilst we're all watching.

371
00:23:24.779 --> 00:23:25.980
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

372
00:23:26.039 --> 00:23:26.700
Well, there's that.

373
00:23:26.759 --> 00:23:28.500
Well, you couldn't sort of have predicted that.

374
00:23:28.559 --> 00:23:48.720
But like, you know, if people just sort of fucked all the time, because there's that dialogue there where it's just like, these are ancient, um, you know, customs around procreation that are almost incomprehensible to us, which is all the stuff about, you know, Jana being pregnant and him running off and and who could possibly give a shit about who had sex with her.

375
00:23:48.779 --> 00:23:51.240
I mean, imagine anyone in Picard saying that.

376
00:23:51.779 --> 00:23:53.160
Can you even imagine it?

377
00:23:53.880 --> 00:23:54.359
No.

378
00:23:54.539 --> 00:23:56.220
But what do you do get?

379
00:23:56.279 --> 00:24:11.579
Remember, we talked about it before, where, where, where Riker and Deanna joke about the changeling, right, being better than the real Riker in bed, which is like a funny joke that only works in a post-jealousy kind of context.

380
00:24:11.640 --> 00:24:13.259
So you can do it properly.

381
00:24:13.559 --> 00:24:17.400
You can do it properly in a way that doesn't make them sound like fucking Martians.

382
00:24:17.579 --> 00:24:18.420
Do you know what I mean?

383
00:24:18.660 --> 00:24:19.559
They, Nathan.

384
00:24:19.619 --> 00:24:25.079
Oh, I forced myself to add to air of zest flamboyancy and zest.

385
00:24:25.140 --> 00:24:26.460
It's just like, why are you talking?

386
00:24:26.460 --> 00:24:28.440
To my dog, what's going on?

387
00:24:30.119 --> 00:24:34.079
You are the most boring pirate we've ever met. describing yourself that way.

388
00:24:35.880 --> 00:24:38.819
I do like him going, have you ever been cold?

389
00:24:39.480 --> 00:24:40.980
I think that's a good line?

390
00:24:41.099 --> 00:24:46.920
You know, it's like, um, it's like when Julian says, does your hair grow?

391
00:24:47.339 --> 00:24:49.980
You know, like, I think that's actually quite gray.

392
00:24:50.039 --> 00:24:50.819
I think that's great.

393
00:24:50.880 --> 00:24:54.539
And I think there are actually one or 2 lines where we actually get a little moment of acting.

394
00:24:54.599 --> 00:25:06.720
And that one there where he says, you know, the act of love and the feeling of love are the same thing, and data says, I think that's inaccurate, and he just stops for a 2nd and kind of gulps and thinks and goes, yeah, maybe.

395
00:25:07.079 --> 00:25:11.220
And then there's another line later where he says, I have this way of using upper place.

396
00:25:11.700 --> 00:25:18.180
And I think that's actually an interestingly phrased line and that's well delivered by him.

397
00:25:18.240 --> 00:25:24.539
Like he's trying to do something with this drek that he's been forced to say.

398
00:25:24.599 --> 00:25:26.220
And I think he's, he does okay.

399
00:25:26.759 --> 00:25:27.420
I'll state it.

400
00:25:27.480 --> 00:25:28.619
Do you know what funny he is?

401
00:25:28.680 --> 00:25:30.420
Please stop him going to the holiday.

402
00:25:31.259 --> 00:25:33.779
You do things that can't work.

403
00:25:33.839 --> 00:25:34.740
That can't go well.

404
00:25:34.799 --> 00:25:38.640
And it, like this is where Brent always goes when he's trying to be funny as well.

405
00:25:38.940 --> 00:25:43.740
You know, like in in generations where he's just embarrassing again.

406
00:25:43.980 --> 00:25:46.799
Terry, smoking hot in her sort of red.

407
00:25:46.799 --> 00:25:48.480
Is it nightwear?

408
00:25:48.539 --> 00:25:49.500
I'm not entirely sure.

409
00:25:50.339 --> 00:25:54.420
But the music now, the saxophone is going all out at this point.

410
00:25:54.420 --> 00:25:59.700
But look, these are attractive young people about to bone, and you can't possibly object to that.

411
00:25:59.759 --> 00:26:02.220
That's awesome And she's dragging him to bed.

412
00:26:03.180 --> 00:26:04.980
The music makes it sound sleazy.

413
00:26:05.039 --> 00:26:05.700
That's my problem.

414
00:26:06.480 --> 00:26:08.519
It makes it sound like a dreadful paw.

415
00:26:09.480 --> 00:26:12.119
It's a saxophone.

416
00:26:13.619 --> 00:26:15.779
Saxophones are not sexy.

417
00:26:16.740 --> 00:26:17.400
They are.

418
00:26:17.880 --> 00:26:18.900
They are sexy.

419
00:26:19.920 --> 00:26:20.880
Oh, this.

420
00:26:20.880 --> 00:26:21.660
You know what else is sexy?

421
00:26:22.140 --> 00:26:23.759
Do you know what Va doing techno about?

422
00:26:23.819 --> 00:26:25.740
Well, Wheaton just didn't have a hope, did he?

423
00:26:25.920 --> 00:26:27.900
When he goes, oh, why does he work alone?

424
00:26:28.140 --> 00:26:30.000
Oh, he lives by his own rules.

425
00:26:30.240 --> 00:26:36.839
Anyway, one day, young man, you'll make your choice and Wesley looks straight out of the camera and goes, I already have, sir.

426
00:26:36.900 --> 00:26:38.279
I was like, oh, please.

427
00:26:38.940 --> 00:26:42.539
But that's what makes what ends up happening to him so good, I think.

428
00:26:42.660 --> 00:26:50.940
You know, like, I think that that actually in retrospect where they go, actually, let's not take him the direction that we were always going to take him in and let's do something else.

429
00:26:51.420 --> 00:26:54.359
I've got to be honest with you and you may want to cut this.

430
00:26:55.079 --> 00:27:06.660
But I do wonder if losing Gene Roddenby might have been the best thing for Star Trek, because his original conceptions for all of these characters, they were just all erroneous, weren't they?

431
00:27:06.720 --> 00:27:11.519
It was, and it all softened when he had less of a creative hand in the show.

432
00:27:11.880 --> 00:27:12.240
Yeah.

433
00:27:12.299 --> 00:27:13.200
Oh no, I think that's true.

434
00:27:13.259 --> 00:27:13.799
I agree.

435
00:27:13.859 --> 00:27:14.400
I agree.

436
00:27:14.579 --> 00:27:17.700
So, Nathan, you're a droid and I'm annoyed.

437
00:27:18.539 --> 00:27:19.440
What's annoyed?

438
00:27:20.220 --> 00:27:21.299
Like, what's annoyed?

439
00:27:21.420 --> 00:27:22.740
I just don't even understand.

440
00:27:22.799 --> 00:27:23.759
That's not a joke.

441
00:27:23.819 --> 00:27:25.680
Like, that's not in no way a joke.

442
00:27:25.799 --> 00:27:29.640
Like no one uses Noid as an abbreviation for humanoid.

443
00:27:29.819 --> 00:27:32.039
And so what what's happening?

444
00:27:32.099 --> 00:27:34.859
Like that's not a pun, it's not anything.

445
00:27:35.220 --> 00:27:41.579
And, and he, she's, she's trying to sell it with the immense...

446
00:27:41.579 --> 00:27:43.440
Look at the smoopy god on her face.

447
00:27:43.859 --> 00:27:45.599
He goes, yeah, she goes, beautiful.

448
00:27:45.720 --> 00:27:47.519
That's a joke and then he goes, I'm not laughing.

449
00:27:47.700 --> 00:27:48.720
Now laughing.

450
00:27:48.779 --> 00:27:49.200
Yes.

451
00:27:49.200 --> 00:27:56.099
And then he goes, is it because perhaps the joke was not funny. which is that's the best line.

452
00:27:56.220 --> 00:27:57.299
It's you, Data.

453
00:27:57.359 --> 00:27:58.380
And he goes, are you sure?

454
00:27:58.680 --> 00:28:01.200
No, but then the scene comes to the conclusion.

455
00:28:01.259 --> 00:28:02.460
She goes, no, it is funny.

456
00:28:02.519 --> 00:28:03.960
And then Data goes, I agree.

457
00:28:04.019 --> 00:28:04.619
I'm the problem.

458
00:28:05.279 --> 00:28:06.299
No, you're not.

459
00:28:06.359 --> 00:28:07.980
You're not a problem.

460
00:28:09.119 --> 00:28:12.000
But someone put those lines in that scene.

461
00:28:12.720 --> 00:28:15.240
Maybe it's not funny.

462
00:28:15.420 --> 00:28:16.920
You know, maybe it's not me.

463
00:28:17.339 --> 00:28:18.299
Are you sure it's me?

464
00:28:18.900 --> 00:28:19.740
Could it be?

465
00:28:19.740 --> 00:28:21.000
Shut up, Nathan.

466
00:28:21.359 --> 00:28:23.099
The light in in these early episodes.

467
00:28:23.160 --> 00:28:25.619
It's so different to the flat light in later, isn't it?

468
00:28:26.759 --> 00:28:27.180
Yeah.

469
00:28:27.420 --> 00:28:27.900
Yeah.

470
00:28:27.960 --> 00:28:31.799
It's series 3 where they get that even lightning, lighting, I think.

471
00:28:32.220 --> 00:28:33.660
Oh, what could we have had?

472
00:28:33.720 --> 00:28:36.480
General raconteur, physical humour.

473
00:28:36.539 --> 00:28:38.339
Physical humour, cerebral humour.

474
00:28:39.359 --> 00:28:49.440
But look who the comedian is that they decide on, because all of these people are the names of people in the crew, do you know what I mean?

475
00:28:49.500 --> 00:28:56.700
Like people in the in the crew of the show, okay, so have a look, have a look. accessing, accessing, um, Wendy News.

476
00:28:56.700 --> 00:29:01.559
Ronald B. Moore, who's the visual effects guy.

477
00:29:01.980 --> 00:29:04.680
Ronald B. in relation to Ronald D. Moore.

478
00:29:05.099 --> 00:29:07.140
Yeah, they had a Ronald Bmore and a Ronald Dmore.

479
00:29:07.200 --> 00:29:07.980
Did you not know that?

480
00:29:08.400 --> 00:29:12.480
I think I would have preferred it if he'd have gone in and done the esoteric version.

481
00:29:12.539 --> 00:29:13.019
What is it?

482
00:29:13.079 --> 00:29:15.119
quantum equations as humour.

483
00:29:15.180 --> 00:29:16.920
Yeah, yeah, that would that would have been awesome.

484
00:29:17.279 --> 00:29:17.700
Yeah.

485
00:29:17.700 --> 00:29:19.140
I mean, look at this.

486
00:29:19.200 --> 00:29:21.779
It's like the cut price Vic's lounge, isn't it?

487
00:29:22.619 --> 00:29:23.880
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

488
00:29:23.940 --> 00:29:26.039
Well, it's just a set that we're using once.

489
00:29:26.759 --> 00:29:27.599
Do you squint?

490
00:29:27.599 --> 00:29:28.920
It looks a bit like the royale.

491
00:29:30.599 --> 00:29:32.220
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

492
00:29:32.579 --> 00:29:33.900
So, this is J.

493
00:29:33.900 --> 00:29:34.140
P.

494
00:29:34.140 --> 00:29:35.819
Scapo's slumming it on this stupid show.

495
00:29:36.539 --> 00:29:39.420
Yeah, those chairs are really hideous. of tiger patterns.

496
00:29:39.480 --> 00:29:39.960
Can you see him?

497
00:29:41.339 --> 00:29:42.359
It was the 80s.

498
00:29:43.980 --> 00:29:45.960
The decade style forgot.

499
00:29:46.740 --> 00:29:49.559
So this Tip O'Neilling address is funny.

500
00:29:49.619 --> 00:29:51.779
Words that end in K are funny.

501
00:29:52.319 --> 00:29:55.500
So Tip O'Neill, apparently I actually kind of like that line.

502
00:29:55.559 --> 00:29:58.380
I think some people think the words in, but they need K are funny.

503
00:29:58.619 --> 00:29:59.039
Yeah.

504
00:29:59.339 --> 00:30:05.460
So, so T O'Neill is the Democrat, he's the speaker of the house of representatives.

505
00:30:05.519 --> 00:30:07.440
So he's a politician for about 10 years.

506
00:30:08.519 --> 00:30:12.900
And he does turn up in an episode of Cheers, which I've watched.

507
00:30:12.960 --> 00:30:20.039
So, so he is, so he is, that's a contemporary reference for Star Trek the Next Generation.

508
00:30:20.220 --> 00:30:24.180
But this guy can't be Joe Piscopo from Saturday Night Live.

509
00:30:24.240 --> 00:30:24.900
They can't do that.

510
00:30:25.380 --> 00:30:26.279
Do you know what I mean?

511
00:30:26.640 --> 00:30:31.980
Because they can't do contemporary references but they do let that one slip by.

512
00:30:32.579 --> 00:30:36.779
You know how generic the people from the botany Bay were in the neutral zone.

513
00:30:37.140 --> 00:30:54.599
You know, that there's no, or, you know, the way that the way that neither Eddington nor Cisco had seen the musical of La Visra, but, you know, you can't do anything sort of anything that's too contemporary because that kind of wrecks the illusion.

514
00:30:54.839 --> 00:30:56.339
Oh my god, it's very nice.

515
00:30:56.819 --> 00:31:04.500
This is so this is where he's clowning around the stage with false teeth, knocking into microphones.

516
00:31:05.099 --> 00:31:06.539
Oh, where's the android?

517
00:31:06.660 --> 00:31:07.319
Where has he gone?

518
00:31:08.339 --> 00:31:09.599
It's like, what is this?

519
00:31:10.740 --> 00:31:13.440
Yeah, so it's Jerry Lewis impersonation, right?

520
00:31:13.740 --> 00:31:17.700
And data, so because Brand obviously can do a Jerry Lewis impersonation.

521
00:31:17.759 --> 00:31:27.660
And so he does one that sounds nothing like the only Jerry Lewis impersonation that Data has ever heard, which is, which is this asshole doing this.

522
00:31:27.720 --> 00:31:30.059
And this is just like, what the fuck is this?

523
00:31:30.480 --> 00:31:31.319
Why are we watching this?

524
00:31:31.859 --> 00:31:32.640
uniform as well.

525
00:31:32.940 --> 00:31:34.740
That looks really weird.

526
00:31:35.099 --> 00:31:37.680
I mean, I can see his cock as well, which is old.

527
00:31:39.059 --> 00:31:41.519
You know, when they were both sort of doing the timing together.

528
00:31:43.920 --> 00:31:47.519
Yeah, that is one of the most humiliating moments in all of Star Trek.

529
00:31:48.000 --> 00:31:49.200
It's not funny.

530
00:31:49.259 --> 00:31:50.039
It's not clever.

531
00:31:50.099 --> 00:31:51.359
It's not entertaining.

532
00:31:51.779 --> 00:31:53.759
It's just like...

533
00:31:53.759 --> 00:31:54.480
Noise.

534
00:31:54.539 --> 00:31:55.500
It's just horrible noise.

535
00:31:56.339 --> 00:31:57.299
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

536
00:31:57.359 --> 00:31:57.660
Yeah.

537
00:31:57.720 --> 00:31:58.920
Yeah, shockingly.

538
00:31:59.039 --> 00:32:01.319
I mean, look at how much he's sweating as well, the poor man.

539
00:32:01.980 --> 00:32:03.000
Must be very odd.

540
00:32:03.059 --> 00:32:04.740
I don't know if you noticed as well, right?

541
00:32:04.799 --> 00:32:08.339
That is such a cheap set that they're around the stage.

542
00:32:08.400 --> 00:32:09.240
Did you see?

543
00:32:09.420 --> 00:32:13.799
It's the door to the holodeck. look Oh really?

544
00:32:13.980 --> 00:32:15.779
It's the door they use for the holodeck.

545
00:32:16.920 --> 00:32:18.599
Just without the doors in the middle.

546
00:32:21.059 --> 00:32:23.099
And with that terrible foil.

547
00:32:23.160 --> 00:32:26.220
Was this a chari comedy cabaret symbol?

548
00:32:26.759 --> 00:32:28.140
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

549
00:32:29.579 --> 00:32:38.940
Oh, and then this, when he starts speeding everything up, and I think we're supposed to be amused by the fact that he's talking at like 10 times speed and fast.

550
00:32:39.059 --> 00:32:40.019
Yeah, yeah.

551
00:32:40.680 --> 00:32:55.920
Yeah, again, because they've got nothing to say about comedy, like they have this idea that data should investigate comedy, but he doesn't learn anything about comedy and then he eventually stops and decides, oh, well, there must be other things about being human.

552
00:32:56.579 --> 00:32:58.619
Like, I don't know.

553
00:32:59.279 --> 00:33:00.720
I do actually like that joke.

554
00:33:02.220 --> 00:33:03.420
I just don't, I don't know.

555
00:33:03.539 --> 00:33:04.619
Can I have a 2nd opinion?

556
00:33:04.680 --> 00:33:06.299
Yes, I also think you're ugly.

557
00:33:06.420 --> 00:33:07.500
I think that's a funny joke.

558
00:33:07.740 --> 00:33:09.599
But, like, obviously he ruins it.

559
00:33:09.900 --> 00:33:17.220
I'm trying to think at what point in like DS9 is wrong because I've came after this, yeah, where they sort of landed the comedy.

560
00:33:17.279 --> 00:33:18.599
But I think it's emissary, right?

561
00:33:18.900 --> 00:33:19.920
You know, at first.

562
00:33:19.980 --> 00:33:21.720
I didn't think I was going to like him.

563
00:33:21.960 --> 00:33:24.599
You know, like it's it's genuinely funny.

564
00:33:24.660 --> 00:33:25.380
So what's the difference?

565
00:33:25.680 --> 00:33:26.460
I don't understand.

566
00:33:27.180 --> 00:33:32.220
What is it about this show, the mechanics of comedy just don't land?

567
00:33:33.000 --> 00:33:33.779
No, no.

568
00:33:33.839 --> 00:33:42.539
But in particular, like even when this show isn't doing a B plot about comedy, in this period, it just tends to be terribly inept, I think.

569
00:33:42.779 --> 00:33:44.400
I think the comedy later, you're right.

570
00:33:44.460 --> 00:33:46.140
It comes from the chemistry between the actors.

571
00:33:46.200 --> 00:33:51.420
That's where the laughs are just watching them relax and be in silly situations.

572
00:33:51.420 --> 00:33:55.619
But I think comedy, the best comedy generally comes from characterisation, right?

573
00:33:55.680 --> 00:33:57.779
comes from people and they're not people.

574
00:33:59.039 --> 00:33:59.460
No.

575
00:33:59.519 --> 00:34:03.480
I remember when Wharf starts to be funny, you know, nice house, good tea.

576
00:34:03.900 --> 00:34:07.859
I am not a merry man, you know, like that stuff to the opposition.

577
00:34:09.300 --> 00:34:09.900
Yeah, yeah.

578
00:34:09.960 --> 00:34:10.800
Oh, what was it?

579
00:34:10.860 --> 00:34:11.460
He said to Kira.

580
00:34:11.699 --> 00:34:12.480
Nice hat.

581
00:34:14.280 --> 00:34:15.119
That's sad.

582
00:34:15.119 --> 00:34:22.679
He's our 2nd spaceship turning up, looking vastly better than it did in 1988, I imagine.

583
00:34:22.860 --> 00:34:23.940
Yeah, there we go.

584
00:34:24.239 --> 00:34:29.519
Now we're about to have not the full conference, just one person on this way, but later on, right?

585
00:34:29.579 --> 00:34:30.840
You better be dazzled.

586
00:34:30.900 --> 00:34:34.199
There'll be a line down the middle and 2 people on the viewscreen.

587
00:34:35.159 --> 00:34:39.480
Now, I want to know what you think is happening to Michael Westmore this week.

588
00:34:39.599 --> 00:34:53.940
Do you think Michael Westmore saw these 2 guys in the script and said, I want to just put a whole fucking pound of latex on their foreheads and they pulled a gun on him and said, if you come anywhere near me, I'm going to end you?

589
00:34:53.940 --> 00:34:56.099
Like, or should we not have the money?

590
00:34:56.099 --> 00:35:01.199
Michael Restmore read the scripts and said, There's suffering enough.

591
00:35:02.039 --> 00:35:04.500
There I thought, I don't want to put them through that as well.

592
00:35:04.920 --> 00:35:08.039
Let them come in at 9 rather than, you know, 4 in the morning.

593
00:35:10.440 --> 00:35:11.039
So bad.

594
00:35:11.940 --> 00:35:15.239
I mean, it is quite nice just to have 2 humanoids turn up.

595
00:35:15.239 --> 00:35:15.960
Wow.

596
00:35:16.260 --> 00:35:18.119
You know, a load of plastic all over the red.

597
00:35:19.500 --> 00:35:19.980
Yeah.

598
00:35:20.039 --> 00:35:25.019
And they're from the planet, Strayleb and Atleck, I think, like, which is pretty awesome.

599
00:35:25.500 --> 00:35:37.380
Are these the sort of affairs of states that those commentators on Kurtzman Shrek were talking about dealing with the misadventures. with realistic situations.

600
00:35:37.980 --> 00:35:41.340
Outrageous O'Connor potentially impregnating this man's daughter.

601
00:35:42.840 --> 00:35:47.099
So apparently this set behind him is the Battle Bridge or something that's been redressed.

602
00:35:47.159 --> 00:35:49.320
That's the big telly on the battle bridge behind.

603
00:35:49.559 --> 00:35:50.639
Get some money out of it.

604
00:35:51.480 --> 00:35:53.039
Maybe they're not just out of ideas.

605
00:35:53.099 --> 00:35:54.360
They're out of dosh as well.

606
00:35:54.840 --> 00:35:59.699
Oh, I think that's absolutely happening, which is why we have to resort to shades of gray by the end of the season.

607
00:36:00.539 --> 00:36:05.880
It is, like, I know I know we said about, oh, I do like that man beyond the screen.

608
00:36:05.940 --> 00:36:07.079
I don't know what it's doing.

609
00:36:07.260 --> 00:36:08.099
Do you see him?

610
00:36:08.159 --> 00:36:09.960
Yeah, yeah, they're so unb behind the thing.

611
00:36:10.019 --> 00:36:10.679
Yeah, yeah.

612
00:36:10.980 --> 00:36:11.820
There's 2 people.

613
00:36:12.659 --> 00:36:13.079
Yeah.

614
00:36:13.199 --> 00:36:17.400
They're just typing But in for you, like, there's such a lift, isn't there?

615
00:36:17.820 --> 00:36:19.559
It's extraordinary.

616
00:36:19.920 --> 00:36:24.119
The lift that we get in terms of writing in terms of performance.

617
00:36:25.679 --> 00:36:26.579
Yeah, yeah.

618
00:36:26.699 --> 00:36:27.119
Yeah.

619
00:36:27.300 --> 00:36:33.480
At the cost of lining at the cost of some kind of sort of, you know, risk taking, I guess.

620
00:36:33.960 --> 00:36:38.880
But they're able to put out a competent episode every week, even if it's a bit dull.

621
00:36:39.780 --> 00:36:48.360
The danger is later on is that the competency can be very boring if it's just a standard episode, whereas no episodes of one or 2 is boring.

622
00:36:48.480 --> 00:36:50.039
They're just mostly terrible.

623
00:36:51.599 --> 00:36:52.800
Oh, I think they're bought.

624
00:36:54.599 --> 00:36:57.059
I think, yeah, they're giving it too much credit.

625
00:36:57.420 --> 00:37:00.000
To be fair, this is only our 3rd in season two.

626
00:37:00.480 --> 00:37:03.300
Oh, look, the planet Straleb.

627
00:37:04.079 --> 00:37:04.980
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

628
00:37:04.980 --> 00:37:05.519
What happens, like?

629
00:37:06.780 --> 00:37:07.559
I don't know.

630
00:37:07.619 --> 00:37:10.320
It's Bell Arts backwards, so who knows?

631
00:37:11.699 --> 00:37:14.639
Well, it just looked like a backwards English word.

632
00:37:14.820 --> 00:37:34.440
And now we're talking about, oh, see, I thought this had the potential to be a funny line where data says, like, wharf talks about the mosh fly or something like that, and Dana explains it's a Klingon fly that makes a high pitch buzzing sound, like, and he's about to make the high pitch buzzing sound, and Picard cuts him off.

633
00:37:35.159 --> 00:37:39.599
But I think it would have been funnier if he started making a high pitched buzzing sound.

634
00:37:39.659 --> 00:37:41.460
I just don't know.

635
00:37:41.519 --> 00:37:46.380
I know, I know, I'm just mean, I'm only mini now, but all of data is attempts at humour.

636
00:37:46.440 --> 00:37:51.300
I mean, every time they do it, I very, very rarely raise a smile.

637
00:37:52.380 --> 00:37:55.679
No, I mean, I kind of like the giving too much precision.

638
00:37:55.739 --> 00:37:58.260
Do you know what I mean, giving things down to the mealisecond.

639
00:37:58.320 --> 00:38:02.880
I think it's kind of funny, but not if they kind of mug and pretend it's a hilarious joke.

640
00:38:03.360 --> 00:38:08.340
That bit there where Picard went, mute the man on the screen and then he's just sort of like looking impatient.

641
00:38:08.400 --> 00:38:09.659
It's like they've given him the direction.

642
00:38:09.719 --> 00:38:11.219
Look impatient whilst you're muted.

643
00:38:11.880 --> 00:38:14.219
And then they give the son the direction, right.

644
00:38:14.280 --> 00:38:16.380
Please, grab him.

645
00:38:16.440 --> 00:38:26.099
Grab him in this amateur dramatics way. and give some indication that you might be the father of the child later on.

646
00:38:26.699 --> 00:38:28.139
It's so bad.

647
00:38:28.260 --> 00:38:29.280
Like, what is that?

648
00:38:29.400 --> 00:38:34.500
That is so poor, and yet he went on to guest in an episode of Enterprise.

649
00:38:34.920 --> 00:38:37.559
Wow, that's not a sign of quality, though, is it?

650
00:38:38.940 --> 00:38:40.800
I mean, the dog was in enterprise.

651
00:38:42.000 --> 00:38:44.280
He's been reported in 3 different quarters.

652
00:38:44.340 --> 00:38:47.820
He goes, get that sex pest, but to the bridge now, all right?

653
00:38:48.539 --> 00:38:53.159
Yeah, it's all consensual, you know, it's everyone's having fun.

654
00:38:53.219 --> 00:38:54.900
I would not be pushing him out. bed.

655
00:38:55.320 --> 00:38:57.239
Look how Worf is filmed from below.

656
00:38:57.960 --> 00:38:59.340
Like he's on...

657
00:38:59.340 --> 00:39:02.460
It's like the bit in data law where he's going to get...

658
00:39:02.460 --> 00:39:03.900
That's a law.

659
00:39:05.219 --> 00:39:15.360
So I do think one of the problems with this is how heterosexual O'Connor is and how there's no hint that he would be interested in anyone else.

660
00:39:16.019 --> 00:39:25.980
And there, but then there was a moment where maybe I wasn't paying close attention where, um, he says something like, uh, you know, now is now.

661
00:39:26.159 --> 00:39:30.960
And then, you know, they're kissing and he says something, he walks up.

662
00:39:31.019 --> 00:39:31.559
What's he say?

663
00:39:34.139 --> 00:39:35.699
Oh, I would like that.

664
00:39:36.119 --> 00:39:37.260
I would like that.

665
00:39:37.320 --> 00:39:38.940
And you kind of go, oh, what would you like?

666
00:39:39.239 --> 00:39:41.159
I think he's talking about like a fight.

667
00:39:41.340 --> 00:39:43.500
I think he's talking about, but not sex.

668
00:39:44.280 --> 00:39:44.760
Really?

669
00:39:44.820 --> 00:39:45.119
Come on.

670
00:39:45.179 --> 00:39:47.940
I mean, I would love it if O'Connor came onto him.

671
00:39:48.000 --> 00:39:51.599
That would be extraordinary to watch Paul Michael Dawn's reaction.

672
00:39:53.760 --> 00:39:55.440
We're not there yet, though, are we?

673
00:39:56.219 --> 00:40:05.519
No, I have to tell you, and you may not be aware of this, but Una and Erica did Snog in an episode of straight shit.

674
00:40:06.000 --> 00:40:06.719
Object to that?

675
00:40:06.780 --> 00:40:07.679
What would Objection?

676
00:40:07.739 --> 00:40:08.340
No, that's good.

677
00:40:09.059 --> 00:40:14.159
No, I didn't think he would object to it, but I wouldn't have objected to these two. who's asset.

678
00:40:14.460 --> 00:40:15.059
That's right.

679
00:40:15.300 --> 00:40:15.719
Exactly.

680
00:40:17.099 --> 00:40:18.960
It's when ugly people get it on.

681
00:40:19.320 --> 00:40:21.780
I don't want to see Miles and Keiko getting it on.

682
00:40:24.900 --> 00:40:27.599
And trust me, Rosalind Chow is not the problem.

683
00:40:28.559 --> 00:40:29.099
No.

684
00:40:29.340 --> 00:40:33.599
So he is wearing like some amazing mum jeans as well.

685
00:40:34.440 --> 00:40:36.059
Do you notice like his pants?

686
00:40:36.119 --> 00:40:36.960
They're so bad.

687
00:40:37.980 --> 00:40:42.239
Like, it's, it's stone washed, mum Jean.

688
00:40:42.719 --> 00:40:46.860
I love how his sort of chest hair pokes up out of his open shirt.

689
00:40:47.159 --> 00:40:50.400
But he, clearly, still not as good as Harry Munn's chest.

690
00:40:50.460 --> 00:40:54.059
They want him to have a really hairy chest because that's why he's got that sort of V-neck top on.

691
00:40:54.300 --> 00:40:55.199
Yeah, he doesn't.

692
00:40:55.260 --> 00:40:56.639
It's only just poking up a little bit.

693
00:40:56.699 --> 00:40:57.059
Yeah.

694
00:40:57.179 --> 00:40:59.820
Yeah, not so outrageous after all.

695
00:41:00.480 --> 00:41:00.900
No.

696
00:41:01.199 --> 00:41:02.639
God, Bennett, you know what, right?

697
00:41:02.699 --> 00:41:08.159
Watching this without the listening to the words, yeah. and just looking at William Campbell's pretty face.

698
00:41:08.219 --> 00:41:09.719
It's much more enjoyable this way.

699
00:41:10.139 --> 00:41:11.519
Yeah, he is pretty.

700
00:41:11.940 --> 00:41:17.280
You shouldn't say the collection of screenshots I have to choose from among for the website.

701
00:41:17.820 --> 00:41:21.719
Tell me why Kushal from the planet Straleb is so annoyed.

702
00:41:22.860 --> 00:41:24.900
Yes, I've been wondering.

703
00:41:24.960 --> 00:41:25.980
I've been wondering.

704
00:41:26.039 --> 00:41:29.940
I mean, the planet Straleb is probably a fairly miserable place.

705
00:41:30.840 --> 00:41:32.579
Oh, I want to try.

706
00:41:32.639 --> 00:41:34.980
Like they're not even fucking trying, aren't they?

707
00:41:35.219 --> 00:41:38.579
Mr. Kushel, thank you for welcoming me to Straleb.

708
00:41:39.599 --> 00:41:54.480
So, our cast of um, guest characters on the teleconference, uh, Debin, Kushel, Yanar, and Benzan, I think, is the least like an actual name, I think.

709
00:41:54.599 --> 00:41:55.980
Debin is a bit depressing.

710
00:41:56.039 --> 00:41:57.840
It sounds like Dobbin, doesn't he?

711
00:41:57.840 --> 00:41:58.260
The horse.

712
00:41:58.320 --> 00:41:58.739
Yeah.

713
00:41:58.739 --> 00:42:00.719
Yeah.

714
00:42:01.860 --> 00:42:04.019
So is he Debin of Strelob?

715
00:42:04.860 --> 00:42:06.960
No, he's Devin of Atlick.

716
00:42:07.559 --> 00:42:09.000
It's Kushel of Australia.

717
00:42:09.059 --> 00:42:09.599
All right then.

718
00:42:09.599 --> 00:42:09.840
Yeah.

719
00:42:09.960 --> 00:42:12.900
This poor man, it's been waiting the whole time, Frank.

720
00:42:12.900 --> 00:42:13.800
Let's get on the bridge.

721
00:42:14.699 --> 00:42:20.039
So my favourite part of the conference call is where they're both on screen together.

722
00:42:20.159 --> 00:42:30.599
And again, here is another excellent reason why Discovery decided to have fucking holograms instead of everyone talking to everyone on telly. everyone FaceTiming everyone.

723
00:42:31.619 --> 00:42:33.119
So we have the 2 of them.

724
00:42:33.179 --> 00:42:34.860
Oh, God, he's...

725
00:42:34.860 --> 00:42:35.340
I love her.

726
00:42:35.760 --> 00:42:36.420
Do you know what?

727
00:42:36.480 --> 00:42:40.079
She's given me sort of princess layer vibes in her white robes.

728
00:42:41.099 --> 00:42:42.360
And her...

729
00:42:42.360 --> 00:42:44.280
If I were here, it was Carrie Fisher.

730
00:42:45.780 --> 00:42:46.739
Oh my god.

731
00:42:46.980 --> 00:42:47.699
Come on now.

732
00:42:47.880 --> 00:42:48.840
Carrie Fisher.

733
00:42:48.900 --> 00:42:50.400
Surely she was made for Star Trek.

734
00:42:50.460 --> 00:42:51.300
She should have done a role.

735
00:42:52.679 --> 00:42:56.340
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I suppose this ancient morality player.

736
00:42:56.579 --> 00:43:00.239
They never could have afforded him, but imagine if they had got Harrison Ford for this role.

737
00:43:00.719 --> 00:43:12.239
Yeah, but I mean, the thing is, right, Harrison Ford is not pretty in the way that Billy Campbell is, but he's sexy as hell, and it is all in the kind of attitude. isn't it?

738
00:43:12.900 --> 00:43:13.980
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

739
00:43:14.039 --> 00:43:26.099
And, you know, like, like Billy Campbell is like pretty Harrison Ford, a little bit like Aidan Watts' face who played him in solo, uh, rogue, uh, Star Wars story or whatever that was called.

740
00:43:26.579 --> 00:43:28.320
I mean, when you're in the dark, prettier.

741
00:43:28.440 --> 00:43:31.619
Yeah, it don't matter what someone looks like, just how much spunk they've got.

742
00:43:33.239 --> 00:43:34.380
I don't mean that, literally.

743
00:43:35.460 --> 00:43:36.300
No, okay.

744
00:43:36.360 --> 00:43:41.159
But, you know, like it's nice to get them these details right, though, isn't it?

745
00:43:41.219 --> 00:43:41.880
is so pretty.

746
00:43:42.239 --> 00:43:44.579
I can't stop looking at that car.

747
00:43:44.639 --> 00:43:47.219
I mean, they've really hoovered that carpet this week, haven't I?

748
00:43:50.159 --> 00:43:50.699
Oh no.

749
00:43:52.260 --> 00:43:53.760
Oh, okay. split screen.

750
00:43:54.000 --> 00:43:56.219
Now let's see how long it takes them to put these.

751
00:43:56.400 --> 00:44:01.139
They've literally put the 2 plot parts on the screen next to each other.

752
00:44:01.500 --> 00:44:05.639
Let's see how long it takes them to put them together from work it out.

753
00:44:07.079 --> 00:44:09.780
That's right What's the what's the daughter's name?

754
00:44:11.099 --> 00:44:11.940
Yenar.

755
00:44:11.940 --> 00:44:13.980
Yenar of Straleb.

756
00:44:14.039 --> 00:44:14.280
Okay.

757
00:44:14.820 --> 00:44:17.460
No, yes, no, I think she's from Atlet.

758
00:44:17.519 --> 00:44:18.360
Oh, she's at liquor.

759
00:44:18.420 --> 00:44:21.179
Oh, it's so, so hard to tell the difference between the two.

760
00:44:21.840 --> 00:44:22.980
I get those.

761
00:44:23.039 --> 00:44:24.539
They both got sort of gray tunics on.

762
00:44:25.619 --> 00:44:27.059
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

763
00:44:27.119 --> 00:44:27.420
Yeah.

764
00:44:27.780 --> 00:44:30.000
Look, there's Benzan getting a line.

765
00:44:30.300 --> 00:44:31.019
Bless him.

766
00:44:31.920 --> 00:44:41.460
But my favourite thing is when he mutes them and then we just watch them talking and talking and talking and then he just goes, oh, fuck it, hang up on them.

767
00:44:43.380 --> 00:44:45.119
That made me laugh as well.

768
00:44:46.199 --> 00:44:46.739
Really good.

769
00:44:47.880 --> 00:44:49.079
He's fucking hung up on me.

770
00:44:51.119 --> 00:44:52.079
Tell him I want at all.

771
00:44:52.079 --> 00:44:53.519
Terminate communications, fuck.

772
00:44:56.400 --> 00:44:58.500
But as well, right, as well.

773
00:44:58.679 --> 00:45:05.340
I was like, initially it's too, it's so obvious that, like, he's fucked the daughter and stolen the jewel, right?

774
00:45:05.460 --> 00:45:09.539
But it's even more obvious that, oh, no, he's a loveable rogue.

775
00:45:09.539 --> 00:45:17.940
He didn't do either of them, and, you know, the very neat solution is that he's actually a really nice guy. vomit.

776
00:45:18.059 --> 00:45:19.619
Yeah, it's so boring.

777
00:45:19.739 --> 00:45:30.300
But there's also this sort of thing where there's no threat because the people from Atleck and Straleb only have, you know, lasers or whatever and they can't kill us.

778
00:45:30.360 --> 00:45:36.960
We even go to an ad break with a declaration that no one can actually hurt us in this situation.

779
00:45:37.019 --> 00:45:39.480
You sort of think, well, there's all the tension gone.

780
00:45:39.719 --> 00:45:42.179
Like, it's impossible to give a shit about any of this.

781
00:45:42.840 --> 00:45:45.360
You see the carpet on Picard's walls there.

782
00:45:45.420 --> 00:45:53.639
That sort of, you know, that reminds me of the really cheap place I used to work where I took phone calls, you know, doing telemarketing.

783
00:45:54.539 --> 00:45:57.840
I mean, I used to think this was the plushest place you could ever go.

784
00:45:59.159 --> 00:46:01.079
It was like a very posh hotel.

785
00:46:01.139 --> 00:46:01.860
Can you imagine?

786
00:46:01.860 --> 00:46:03.659
In 89 or 87.

787
00:46:03.840 --> 00:46:11.039
If I'd have seen the visual effects wall of Strange New Worlds, I mean, I just would have killed over and died.

788
00:46:11.039 --> 00:46:12.000
The corridor set.

789
00:46:12.420 --> 00:46:17.219
You know, like just the corridor. so reflective. do I do?

790
00:46:19.139 --> 00:46:21.000
Where is the carpet on the walls?

791
00:46:22.079 --> 00:46:23.039
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

792
00:46:23.280 --> 00:46:27.900
I mean, I do think it was a savvy move on DS9 to remove the carpet from the walls.

793
00:46:27.900 --> 00:46:29.579
Yes, I think so too.

794
00:46:30.000 --> 00:46:30.780
Yeah, yeah.

795
00:46:30.840 --> 00:46:31.860
Oh, this is a bit now.

796
00:46:31.920 --> 00:46:41.639
You need to watch the end of this scene where he says to Wesley, no, I've made friends and dashes off and Lavar gives his shock look to Wesley. so great.

797
00:46:41.880 --> 00:46:43.800
I mean, Wesley's so in love with him.

798
00:46:44.039 --> 00:46:47.219
Like Wesley is absolutely gagging for him.

799
00:46:48.059 --> 00:46:49.199
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

800
00:46:49.260 --> 00:46:53.039
Just look at the way that he looks at him and it's just such an odd way of playing it.

801
00:46:53.460 --> 00:46:55.079
I mean, I think I'd watch it, you know?

802
00:46:59.639 --> 00:47:01.019
He's the mate, he's right.

803
00:47:01.079 --> 00:47:01.860
Yeah, yes, yes.

804
00:47:02.280 --> 00:47:05.519
Yeah, yeah, yeah, not that big an age gap.

805
00:47:05.579 --> 00:47:07.019
Look how pretty he is.

806
00:47:07.559 --> 00:47:10.739
Well, I mean, I always thought where Wheaton was very pretty when I was young.

807
00:47:10.800 --> 00:47:11.820
Obviously, it was my big crush.

808
00:47:12.059 --> 00:47:13.739
I was older than...

809
00:47:13.860 --> 00:47:15.179
I was only in this, remember?

810
00:47:15.599 --> 00:47:17.159
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

811
00:47:17.219 --> 00:47:20.400
Whereas this guy, Billy Campbell's 10 years older than me.

812
00:47:21.420 --> 00:47:29.519
I think Westmore's makeup girls are having day off actually, because you can see Will's acne quite badly in this shop.

813
00:47:29.760 --> 00:47:31.320
Yeah, high diff.

814
00:47:33.179 --> 00:47:35.519
I don't know if you know it.

815
00:47:35.519 --> 00:47:37.860
It felt like such an old detail to bring up.

816
00:47:37.980 --> 00:47:43.679
But Patrick Stewart's neck, like the sort of crinkles in his neck, right?

817
00:47:43.739 --> 00:47:46.619
Later on, that would all be smoothed out with makeup, yeah.

818
00:47:46.739 --> 00:47:48.900
But here they just haven't done it at all.

819
00:47:49.079 --> 00:47:53.880
But I mean, he's got crinkles in his neck and he's 40 something in this episode.

820
00:47:54.119 --> 00:47:54.719
Wait for it.

821
00:47:54.840 --> 00:47:57.599
Keep your arm, LeVar, all right, when he looks...

822
00:47:57.599 --> 00:47:58.500
Okay. ready?

823
00:47:59.940 --> 00:48:00.960
Trying to make a stand.

824
00:48:01.440 --> 00:48:02.460
Oh my god.

825
00:48:02.460 --> 00:48:03.659
It's like, what the fuck?

826
00:48:03.659 --> 00:48:10.739
Levar, thank you for trying to inject some drama in this scene, but there is none.

827
00:48:11.400 --> 00:48:13.019
That was him going to an end break.

828
00:48:13.079 --> 00:48:13.800
Do you know what I mean?

829
00:48:16.559 --> 00:48:17.760
What is the outrage?

830
00:48:17.820 --> 00:48:19.500
Oh, God, I got to do West.

831
00:48:19.559 --> 00:48:19.980
Yeah.

832
00:48:20.400 --> 00:48:21.900
Why does no one say that?

833
00:48:22.320 --> 00:48:24.059
Why, O'Connor, you're outrageous.

834
00:48:24.360 --> 00:48:25.980
Can I just say as well?

835
00:48:26.280 --> 00:48:29.699
Marina has not had a line since the 1st scene.

836
00:48:29.940 --> 00:48:33.599
She's always in niche British scenes and she doesn't say a word.

837
00:48:33.719 --> 00:48:34.679
Never says anything.

838
00:48:34.980 --> 00:48:35.699
She's a girl.

839
00:48:35.940 --> 00:48:36.960
I don't want to hear from her.

840
00:48:37.260 --> 00:48:39.659
She looks very pretty in her seat though, doesn't she?

841
00:48:40.260 --> 00:48:43.199
Yeah, yeah, yeah. she thinks he's pretty, which is kind of nice.

842
00:48:44.460 --> 00:48:45.360
Okay, come on now.

843
00:48:45.480 --> 00:48:46.559
It's just a bit weird.

844
00:48:46.619 --> 00:48:47.699
Oh, they're coming on board now.

845
00:48:48.420 --> 00:48:48.840
Okay.

846
00:48:48.960 --> 00:48:50.099
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

847
00:48:50.159 --> 00:48:59.639
We're bringing them on board into the conference room on deck 14, which just turns out to be someone's quarters that they've taken all the furniture out of.

848
00:48:59.940 --> 00:49:01.500
Why did you steal the crystal again?

849
00:49:01.559 --> 00:49:05.699
Was it so they could have a new life together, him and him and the woman with a baby?

850
00:49:07.920 --> 00:49:10.800
Benzan is the heir to the crystal.

851
00:49:11.039 --> 00:49:11.760
Benzane.

852
00:49:12.840 --> 00:49:14.340
Yeah, it's owned by the family.

853
00:49:14.400 --> 00:49:18.539
It's called the Crystal of Theseia in case you are not paying attention.

854
00:49:18.599 --> 00:49:19.920
Is that Ben fan of Strahleb?

855
00:49:19.980 --> 00:49:21.539
talking about there or atzlek?

856
00:49:21.659 --> 00:49:24.360
Yeah, yeah, no, he's been, turn of Australia.

857
00:49:24.420 --> 00:49:24.719
Okay.

858
00:49:24.719 --> 00:49:29.400
And so he was going to give it to her and that was going to be their marriage thing.

859
00:49:29.880 --> 00:49:31.019
It was like a wedding present.

860
00:49:31.079 --> 00:49:37.619
Fuck sake, just in case we didn't know, they get off the transporter pad and, you know, father and mother look at each other.

861
00:49:38.039 --> 00:49:38.460
Right.

862
00:49:38.940 --> 00:49:40.800
We're going to reveal the plot zone, aren't we?

863
00:49:40.860 --> 00:49:41.280
Yes, good.

864
00:49:41.400 --> 00:49:42.300
Oh my god.

865
00:49:42.360 --> 00:49:43.739
But why are they bothering?

866
00:49:43.860 --> 00:49:45.480
It's because he's not speaking out for her?

867
00:49:45.539 --> 00:49:48.179
I mean, I don't even understand why she's behaving in this way.

868
00:49:48.960 --> 00:49:51.780
Look at the furniture in that room. beautiful carpet in this room.

869
00:49:52.139 --> 00:49:53.820
I mean, it's immaculate.

870
00:49:54.539 --> 00:49:55.260
Isn't it?

871
00:49:55.320 --> 00:49:58.500
Do you imagine dots do it or is there an official sort of who for us?

872
00:49:58.559 --> 00:49:59.940
Yeah, I reckon that dot does.

873
00:50:00.119 --> 00:50:01.559
Well, they probably just have a room bar.

874
00:50:01.800 --> 00:50:02.579
Do you know what I mean?

875
00:50:04.019 --> 00:50:06.300
I can't believe they didn't have little robots going about.

876
00:50:06.539 --> 00:50:08.280
Like, they could have done that in the 80s.

877
00:50:09.480 --> 00:50:13.199
Yeah, I mean, they have them in Star Wars, remember, but they're all going on shiny floors.

878
00:50:13.500 --> 00:50:15.480
Could it have just looked like sort of dusty bin?

879
00:50:15.539 --> 00:50:17.099
Oh, like, yeah, R2D2.

880
00:50:18.059 --> 00:50:18.900
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

881
00:50:19.199 --> 00:50:22.920
There's tiny little ones on the Death Star. like little robots that go around the place.

882
00:50:23.219 --> 00:50:25.860
Do we ever do robots in TNG?

883
00:50:26.340 --> 00:50:27.840
Is there ever even a robot?

884
00:50:27.900 --> 00:50:29.340
Are they so not fun?

885
00:50:29.519 --> 00:50:31.920
They don't even do a...

886
00:50:32.400 --> 00:50:34.079
Oh, they're quite cute, aren't they?

887
00:50:35.099 --> 00:50:36.840
They're on strings, which is very funny.

888
00:50:38.159 --> 00:50:39.059
Like nomad.

889
00:50:40.079 --> 00:50:42.300
Nothing top snomad. still the best.

890
00:50:45.360 --> 00:50:47.880
Oh, look at the horror on the kid's face.

891
00:50:48.780 --> 00:50:50.460
No, I am the father.

892
00:50:52.139 --> 00:50:55.679
Yeah, but he's so much uglier, but be careful.

893
00:50:55.800 --> 00:50:56.400
Look at him.

894
00:50:56.400 --> 00:50:57.420
He's rough looking at him.

895
00:50:57.480 --> 00:51:00.780
No episode of murder she wrote that is worse acted than this scene.

896
00:51:01.920 --> 00:51:03.840
Oh, it's really bad, isn't it?

897
00:51:04.079 --> 00:51:06.659
It's so bad. anyone think to ask me?

898
00:51:07.079 --> 00:51:08.940
Who is the father of my child?

899
00:51:11.159 --> 00:51:12.840
Joe would be perfect in this scene.

900
00:51:13.079 --> 00:51:13.679
Gates.

901
00:51:13.800 --> 00:51:14.519
Get in.

902
00:51:14.639 --> 00:51:15.420
Yeah, yeah.

903
00:51:16.139 --> 00:51:16.980
Shut up.

904
00:51:19.500 --> 00:51:21.480
He didn't steal the crystal after all.

905
00:51:21.599 --> 00:51:23.159
Gates would be perfect.

906
00:51:24.059 --> 00:51:25.139
She would think.

907
00:51:28.260 --> 00:51:30.840
Oh, he has unfortunate hair, doesn't he, the son?

908
00:51:31.260 --> 00:51:35.699
Yeah, it's really bad hair and everyone is so fucking sweaty in this entire episode.

909
00:51:35.880 --> 00:51:39.420
Maybe Westmore had the day off because everyone is shiny.

910
00:51:39.719 --> 00:51:42.179
Everyone has shiny, shiny face in this episode.

911
00:51:43.139 --> 00:51:43.920
You said it.

912
00:51:43.980 --> 00:51:45.539
It was O'Connor's child.

913
00:51:45.599 --> 00:51:48.539
Oh, wow.

914
00:51:49.079 --> 00:51:51.719
So I let you believe it was O'Connor.

915
00:51:51.900 --> 00:51:52.500
She goes.

916
00:51:53.099 --> 00:51:54.480
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

917
00:51:57.360 --> 00:52:03.900
I mean, I was laughing throughout this whole scene watching it. for the reasons I should be.

918
00:52:06.900 --> 00:52:11.880
Oh, I know you didn't name that person that left the comment on genocide.

919
00:52:12.300 --> 00:52:15.480
Please go back and watch the outrageous O'Connor, right?

920
00:52:19.260 --> 00:52:21.599
Oh, back when Star Trek was proper.

921
00:52:22.559 --> 00:52:23.639
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

922
00:52:23.699 --> 00:52:24.179
Yeah.

923
00:52:24.239 --> 00:52:24.719
Yeah.

924
00:52:25.079 --> 00:52:26.280
Oh my goodness.

925
00:52:26.340 --> 00:52:27.719
Are we still talking about the jewel?

926
00:52:28.019 --> 00:52:30.719
I mean, look, Marina still hasn't got a line.

927
00:52:30.780 --> 00:52:31.559
She's just standing.

928
00:52:31.739 --> 00:52:33.780
No, no, she's just standing there.

929
00:52:33.840 --> 00:52:34.739
She's smiling.

930
00:52:34.980 --> 00:52:38.159
Like, she's like, it's really bad, isn't it?

931
00:52:38.219 --> 00:52:40.739
They put her in all these scenes and they never give her anything to do.

932
00:52:41.400 --> 00:52:43.679
No, at least guidance got a line, look.

933
00:52:44.820 --> 00:52:50.519
But no one's thinking like a writer and going, well, what's Deanna doing in this scene?

934
00:52:50.760 --> 00:52:52.380
What does she want to achieve?

935
00:52:52.920 --> 00:52:53.639
you know what I mean?

936
00:52:53.699 --> 00:52:55.739
What does she think of what's going on here?

937
00:52:55.980 --> 00:52:57.000
Who was it Jess?

938
00:52:57.000 --> 00:53:00.360
Was it Jess that said, we never would have put up with that shit?

939
00:53:01.260 --> 00:53:02.099
Yeah, that's right.

940
00:53:02.280 --> 00:53:03.179
That's exactly right.

941
00:53:05.460 --> 00:53:09.420
Oh, a bit more comedy now with Mr. Saturday Night Live.

942
00:53:09.599 --> 00:53:09.960
Okay.

943
00:53:10.380 --> 00:53:10.920
Yeah.

944
00:53:11.219 --> 00:53:11.699
Yeah.

945
00:53:12.599 --> 00:53:13.679
See, look at his hair.

946
00:53:13.860 --> 00:53:15.179
We all had hair like that.

947
00:53:15.179 --> 00:53:16.860
Little Whoopi, such a great actress.

948
00:53:16.920 --> 00:53:18.780
She goes, whoa, this amazing room.

949
00:53:18.840 --> 00:53:19.199
Look at it.

950
00:53:19.260 --> 00:53:19.619
Wow.

951
00:53:23.460 --> 00:53:26.280
Things were plush back in the 50s, weren't they?

952
00:53:27.119 --> 00:53:30.360
And this is not fun either. isn't it?

953
00:53:30.420 --> 00:53:31.380
I think this is fun.

954
00:53:31.500 --> 00:53:41.519
So the scene that we get where data decides that comedy's not for him is where everyone in the audience laughs at literally, see, it's not the 50s.

955
00:53:41.579 --> 00:53:42.360
Look at their fucking hair.

956
00:53:42.420 --> 00:53:44.880
Look at that woman in the foreground, for Christ's sake.

957
00:53:45.059 --> 00:53:46.440
It's like the 80s.

958
00:53:46.500 --> 00:53:49.860
I mean, it could have been proper contemporary things, but I don't know.

959
00:53:49.920 --> 00:53:50.820
Rom got it perfect.

960
00:53:51.239 --> 00:53:56.760
I just got up on the stage and went, you was a free 1st wind in her hair.

961
00:53:56.760 --> 00:53:59.340
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

962
00:54:00.000 --> 00:54:01.139
Yeah, that was fun.

963
00:54:01.199 --> 00:54:02.400
He knows how to have fun.

964
00:54:02.639 --> 00:54:03.300
He's awesome.

965
00:54:03.360 --> 00:54:04.980
That's why the lady is a scamp.

966
00:54:07.500 --> 00:54:09.480
Oh, actually, here we go.

967
00:54:09.539 --> 00:54:12.420
Back to the scamp of this episode, the outrageous O'Connor.

968
00:54:12.480 --> 00:54:13.139
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

969
00:54:13.500 --> 00:54:14.519
He is outrageous.

970
00:54:14.699 --> 00:54:15.599
For fuck's sake.

971
00:54:15.659 --> 00:54:18.239
You feel for him the same way he feels for you.

972
00:54:19.440 --> 00:54:22.860
Oh, and then he sort of looks up all sort of doughy-eyed.

973
00:54:22.920 --> 00:54:25.920
Do you do you feel the same way for me?

974
00:54:30.059 --> 00:54:34.679
Yeah, I'm Nathan, you may be expiring or smile.

975
00:54:34.739 --> 00:54:36.300
I don't know what noises you're making.

976
00:54:38.340 --> 00:54:39.840
I just can't say it any longer.

977
00:54:39.900 --> 00:54:40.860
It's shockingly bad.

978
00:54:40.980 --> 00:54:43.260
I give them 6 months, I reckon.

979
00:54:43.320 --> 00:54:45.719
And uh, although he's, yeah.

980
00:54:45.719 --> 00:54:46.739
Troy, say something.

981
00:54:46.800 --> 00:54:49.260
Please justify your existence in this scene.

982
00:54:49.320 --> 00:54:51.900
She can do better than him. is what I think.

983
00:54:52.199 --> 00:54:55.380
I think Jinar is definitely the loser in this relationship.

984
00:54:55.920 --> 00:54:58.019
Now he's got the crystal though, so he's worth a bit of money.

985
00:54:58.380 --> 00:55:01.019
Yeah, that's true And he has a sort of pretty smile there.

986
00:55:01.440 --> 00:55:01.860
You know?

987
00:55:01.920 --> 00:55:02.519
Maybe.

988
00:55:02.579 --> 00:55:04.440
Look, he does look pretty sad now behind.

989
00:55:04.500 --> 00:55:06.480
Oh, didn't this work out well?

990
00:55:07.679 --> 00:55:10.320
So the dad's almost playing it for comedy a bit?

991
00:55:10.380 --> 00:55:13.800
like an indulgent kind of because that's sort of what this is, isn't it?

992
00:55:13.860 --> 00:55:22.440
It's like a, like that sort of Shakespearean comedy thing about, you know, who's married who and mistaken identity and stealing the thing.

993
00:55:22.500 --> 00:55:26.519
And like it's that sort of traditional kind of comedy sort of.

994
00:55:26.940 --> 00:55:33.539
And so, like, there's a sense in which this is a comedy while the other stupid comedy plot's going on.

995
00:55:33.719 --> 00:55:37.139
But no one's funny and no one gets what comedy's really about.

996
00:55:37.199 --> 00:55:39.360
Well, they have learned nothing about comedy in this episode.

997
00:55:39.539 --> 00:55:41.400
We have that labour joke at the end there.

998
00:55:41.519 --> 00:55:44.820
Oh, what a wonderful future you will have on Straleb.

999
00:55:44.940 --> 00:55:47.280
Oh no, they'll be coming back to Atleg.

1000
00:55:47.519 --> 00:55:50.760
Do you think my daughter is going to live on Atlec?

1001
00:55:51.059 --> 00:55:53.039
I was like, oh, your God's sakes.

1002
00:55:53.159 --> 00:55:53.940
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1003
00:55:54.000 --> 00:55:59.039
And then Paul Marina's in the background and that girl laughing going, oh, isn't this all so amusing?

1004
00:56:00.780 --> 00:56:07.860
Well, I actually kind of like the way that Picard just nopes out of it at that point goes, yeah, this is you solved this one.

1005
00:56:07.980 --> 00:56:08.639
We're going.

1006
00:56:08.940 --> 00:56:11.159
It's the same way he muted the conversation earlier.

1007
00:56:11.219 --> 00:56:13.739
It's just like, yeah, yeah, I just don't want to be half any of this.

1008
00:56:15.780 --> 00:56:18.239
These people find bread absolutely hilarious.

1009
00:56:19.079 --> 00:56:20.099
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1010
00:56:20.340 --> 00:56:35.760
I actually, again, I like the joke, and it's such a cheesy, crappy old joke, but I was so ugly as a baby that they put a pork chop around my neck, so the dog would play with me. funny when you say it. funny choke.

1011
00:56:36.659 --> 00:56:38.219
Like it's cheesy as hell.

1012
00:56:38.519 --> 00:56:41.280
But it's...

1013
00:56:41.280 --> 00:56:42.599
Mind cheek, it's like...

1014
00:56:42.659 --> 00:56:44.579
I mean, you know, we could bring this to podcast.

1015
00:56:44.639 --> 00:56:48.000
There are some deeply unfunny podcasts out there, right?

1016
00:56:48.480 --> 00:56:49.019
Look at you.

1017
00:56:49.260 --> 00:56:50.460
It's air footless for you.

1018
00:56:50.760 --> 00:56:53.400
You just anything that comes out of your mouth makes me laugh.

1019
00:56:53.579 --> 00:56:55.679
I mean, you've either got it or you haven't.

1020
00:56:55.739 --> 00:56:56.940
I think, you can't be taught here.

1021
00:56:58.019 --> 00:56:58.440
Really?

1022
00:56:58.500 --> 00:56:59.699
Brent doesn't have it though.

1023
00:57:00.179 --> 00:57:02.219
No, he really doesn't have it, no.

1024
00:57:03.420 --> 00:57:04.380
Michael has it.

1025
00:57:04.440 --> 00:57:06.239
Michael Dorn has the funny.

1026
00:57:06.539 --> 00:57:07.679
I think Michael does have it.

1027
00:57:07.920 --> 00:57:09.179
I think Michael does tell it.

1028
00:57:09.239 --> 00:57:11.099
Like, you know, Armond Shimmerman?

1029
00:57:11.159 --> 00:57:11.699
absolutely.

1030
00:57:12.059 --> 00:57:13.619
Yep, yep, yep.

1031
00:57:13.679 --> 00:57:14.159
Yeah, no.

1032
00:57:14.159 --> 00:57:18.840
But they've clearly just pumping nitrous oxide into this room.

1033
00:57:19.559 --> 00:57:23.579
Like it's, it's...

1034
00:57:23.579 --> 00:57:24.780
It's so badly as well.

1035
00:57:25.679 --> 00:57:27.000
Oh, thank God.

1036
00:57:28.079 --> 00:57:31.500
Oh, and get rid of the comic too.

1037
00:57:31.980 --> 00:57:33.360
Come on, deactivate.

1038
00:57:34.019 --> 00:57:34.920
No, hang on.

1039
00:57:35.039 --> 00:57:37.139
It was never funny, so he can't vanish.

1040
00:57:38.340 --> 00:57:39.360
No, he's gone.

1041
00:57:41.460 --> 00:57:42.360
Yes, all right.

1042
00:57:42.420 --> 00:57:43.079
Well, that was great.

1043
00:57:43.199 --> 00:57:44.099
That was terrific.

1044
00:57:44.159 --> 00:57:45.179
And that's the B plot.

1045
00:57:45.239 --> 00:57:46.019
We've learned nothing.

1046
00:57:46.320 --> 00:58:00.239
We've decided that being human could involve something else and we will wheel out the emotion chip in 6 years time and we'll get to see Brent pull this crap again to even greater effect.

1047
00:58:00.840 --> 00:58:08.099
I think all of these early TNG episodes would be better, you know, if Angela Lansbury was involved in these murder shit records.

1048
00:58:08.880 --> 00:58:09.480
It's just turned up.

1049
00:58:09.539 --> 00:58:14.639
She goes, you know, I 1st realised that Mr. what's his name?

1050
00:58:14.699 --> 00:58:17.219
Benzan from Straleb looked.

1051
00:58:18.119 --> 00:58:21.719
Very unusually at her when they got off the transporter pad.

1052
00:58:21.960 --> 00:58:23.579
She could put it all together for us.

1053
00:58:24.239 --> 00:58:25.920
That would be quite amusing, I think.

1054
00:58:26.579 --> 00:58:27.480
Oh my god.

1055
00:58:27.539 --> 00:58:28.619
Is this still going?

1056
00:58:28.800 --> 00:58:30.119
Is this episode still going?

1057
00:58:32.400 --> 00:58:32.820
Yes.

1058
00:58:33.360 --> 00:58:33.900
Come on.

1059
00:58:33.960 --> 00:58:35.579
Goodbye, Captain O'Connor.

1060
00:58:35.699 --> 00:58:36.119
Goodbye.

1061
00:58:39.480 --> 00:58:40.139
That's it.

1062
00:58:40.139 --> 00:58:41.699
Oh my god.

1063
00:58:41.760 --> 00:58:42.719
Oh my god. no.

1064
00:58:42.780 --> 00:58:43.920
What the last joke, then?

1065
00:58:44.039 --> 00:58:44.639
I can't remember.

1066
00:58:44.940 --> 00:58:46.320
I'll say goodbye, Data.

1067
00:58:46.380 --> 00:58:47.159
Goodbye, Data.

1068
00:58:48.420 --> 00:58:55.619
And then he looks it up, and then he looks it up, and then we get that laboured thing as well, because it's say good night to the folks, Gracie, right?

1069
00:58:55.800 --> 00:58:57.780
That's just that famous line.

1070
00:59:00.420 --> 00:59:00.780
Yeah.

1071
00:59:00.780 --> 00:59:02.699
It's an hour.

1072
00:59:03.659 --> 00:59:04.079
Yeah.

1073
00:59:04.320 --> 00:59:05.579
Unbelievable stuff.

1074
00:59:06.960 --> 00:59:09.480
And now he starts telling these terrible jokes.

1075
00:59:09.539 --> 00:59:12.780
The girl in the nudist colony who no one nothing looked good on.

1076
00:59:13.380 --> 00:59:14.460
They can't.

1077
00:59:14.519 --> 00:59:16.739
This is going to be a long shift, says Picard.

1078
00:59:17.039 --> 00:59:17.880
Yeah, yeah.

1079
00:59:18.000 --> 00:59:18.719
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1080
00:59:18.780 --> 00:59:19.260
You know what?

1081
00:59:20.099 --> 00:59:21.539
I think I'm needed in engineering.

1082
00:59:21.659 --> 00:59:22.019
Goodbye.

1083
00:59:24.119 --> 00:59:28.199
Actually, that final thing where he just goes, oh, wait, I'm going to stop doing jokes now.

1084
00:59:28.260 --> 00:59:29.460
I'll just press some buttons.

1085
00:59:29.519 --> 00:59:33.659
I'm gonna go to war. hilarious stuff Hilarious stuff.

1086
00:59:34.139 --> 00:59:34.559
Yeah.

1087
00:59:35.039 --> 00:59:35.760
That was awesome.

1088
00:59:35.820 --> 00:59:38.880
God, it's so much superior to all of Kurtzman Trek.

1089
00:59:38.940 --> 00:59:39.539
I must say.

1090
00:59:39.659 --> 00:59:40.139
Yes.

1091
00:59:40.199 --> 00:59:40.679
Yeah.

1092
00:59:40.860 --> 00:59:41.280
Yeah.

1093
00:59:41.820 --> 00:59:42.360
Yeah.

1094
00:59:42.539 --> 00:59:43.320
Oh my god.

1095
00:59:44.280 --> 00:59:46.199
Why is the carpet episode now?

1096
00:59:46.380 --> 00:59:50.280
There's a couple of episodes of season 2 that do have a plot.

1097
00:59:50.519 --> 00:59:52.320
We never seem to land on them, do we?

1098
00:59:53.280 --> 00:59:57.659
Well, we've only rolled 3 and like, I think, what do we think?

1099
00:59:57.900 --> 01:00:00.900
You tell him about number 23 of these to go?

1100
01:00:01.739 --> 01:00:03.179
No, because it's a short season.

1101
01:00:03.239 --> 01:00:04.019
We've only got 19.

1102
01:00:04.199 --> 01:00:05.579
This one only goes for 22.

1103
01:00:06.239 --> 01:00:07.440
Because of the rider strike.

1104
01:00:07.500 --> 01:00:09.239
You can always calm me down by the season.

1105
01:00:09.900 --> 01:00:10.139
Thank you.

1106
01:00:10.440 --> 01:00:10.860
Yeah.

1107
01:00:10.860 --> 01:00:13.019
See, that was a joke.

1108
01:00:14.099 --> 01:00:14.639
19.

1109
01:00:16.440 --> 01:00:18.480
Not very good one, but it was a joke.

1110
01:00:20.639 --> 01:00:21.840
Take my wharf, please.

1111
01:00:22.920 --> 01:00:29.760
Oh, dear, maybe the conclusion we reach at the end of this is actually, neither of us is very funny at all.

1112
01:00:29.820 --> 01:00:34.440
We just find each other absolutely hilarious and that's what I think that might be...

1113
01:00:34.800 --> 01:00:35.579
Yeah, yeah.

1114
01:00:35.880 --> 01:00:36.780
That's what matters.

1115
01:00:37.079 --> 01:00:39.239
As long as we're having fun. exactly.

1116
01:00:47.940 --> 01:00:52.139
All right, it's the end of the episode, and it's time for us to work out where we're going next.

1117
01:00:52.440 --> 01:00:54.420
This was your choice.

1118
01:00:56.280 --> 01:01:01.380
Oddly, and I kind of think that it might be fun to do a good episode.

1119
01:01:02.280 --> 01:01:07.260
But then I think maybe it would be fun to do another terrible episode.

1120
01:01:07.320 --> 01:01:13.619
And so I have decided that we are going to do an episode of Star Trek Enterprise.

1121
01:01:13.860 --> 01:01:16.079
Why would that thought come after that thought?

1122
01:01:17.639 --> 01:01:19.739
You should stick with your original thoughts, you know.

1123
01:01:19.800 --> 01:01:21.239
They're usually bang on.

1124
01:01:21.659 --> 01:01:22.079
Yeah.

1125
01:01:22.320 --> 01:01:24.059
We haven't done Enterprise for a while.

1126
01:01:24.239 --> 01:01:30.599
We haven't done Enterprise for a little while. and it's feeling unloved and that's because it is unloved.

1127
01:01:31.679 --> 01:01:35.280
I've got faith. that you'll choose a something pretty terrible.

1128
01:01:35.820 --> 01:01:37.860
But, you know, there are a couple of goodies.

1129
01:01:37.920 --> 01:01:39.059
We might get that.

1130
01:01:39.119 --> 01:01:39.780
Okay, all right.

1131
01:01:40.139 --> 01:01:41.039
Let's see how we go.

1132
01:01:42.599 --> 01:01:48.179
Your random Star Trek Enterprise episode is season four, episode one, Stormfront.

1133
01:01:48.179 --> 01:01:49.860
Stormfront.

1134
01:01:51.000 --> 01:01:53.760
I've seen this in reasonably recent memory.

1135
01:01:53.820 --> 01:01:59.280
Remember that they come back to Earth, but it's run by aliens and Nazis or something.

1136
01:01:59.639 --> 01:02:00.659
Yeah, why is that?

1137
01:02:01.739 --> 01:02:02.519
I can't remember.

1138
01:02:03.420 --> 01:02:04.260
Oh, no, you know?

1139
01:02:04.320 --> 01:02:04.920
So what happens?

1140
01:02:04.920 --> 01:02:07.199
It is a 2 time, we'd have to do.

1141
01:02:07.260 --> 01:02:07.619
Yeah.

1142
01:02:07.679 --> 01:02:08.579
Let's not do.

1143
01:02:09.840 --> 01:02:11.519
We will have to do it eventually, though.

1144
01:02:11.699 --> 01:02:12.300
I know.

1145
01:02:12.360 --> 01:02:12.900
I know.

1146
01:02:12.960 --> 01:02:13.500
How about this?

1147
01:02:16.199 --> 01:02:21.059
Season one, episode seven, the Andorian incident.

1148
01:02:21.599 --> 01:02:23.460
The Andorian incident.

1149
01:02:23.820 --> 01:02:24.900
I see what it says about that.

1150
01:02:24.960 --> 01:02:25.440
Hang on.

1151
01:02:27.599 --> 01:02:38.039
During a visit to a Vulcan monastery, Archer to Paul and Tucker are taken hostage by a group of Andorians who claim the monastery, actually houses, a secret Vulcan spying post.

1152
01:02:38.760 --> 01:02:40.920
Well, jammer likes it. 3 stars out of four.

1153
01:02:41.880 --> 01:02:42.840
Oh my god.

1154
01:02:43.199 --> 01:02:45.300
Which probably means it's quite boring.

1155
01:02:46.860 --> 01:02:47.400
Probably.

1156
01:02:49.559 --> 01:02:51.239
There any puppets in it, do you think?

1157
01:02:51.780 --> 01:02:54.420
There's never enough puppets in Star Trek, is there?

1158
01:02:54.480 --> 01:02:54.900
You know?

1159
01:02:55.019 --> 01:03:00.780
You remember that terrible episode where Paris and Neelix are down on the planet, par situation.

1160
01:03:00.840 --> 01:03:04.739
The only thing that redeems it is the little puppet that comes out of the egg at the end.

1161
01:03:05.699 --> 01:03:08.940
Do you remember the puppet that Data is feeding in the most toys?

1162
01:03:08.940 --> 01:03:15.659
and he's just singing Lou, Lou, Lou, Lou, Lou, Lou, Lou, really tunelessly and he's throwing food at this puppet?

1163
01:03:15.719 --> 01:03:16.260
It's so weird.

1164
01:03:16.920 --> 01:03:19.739
That's like properly odd TNG.

1165
01:03:19.800 --> 01:03:35.699
Do you remember the puppet that it's not supposed to be a puppet, but it was that Marco Lemo's holding in covenant, the baby, where malfunctioned whilst he was trying to act. and his head was going, look, look, look, and he's trying...

1166
01:03:35.820 --> 01:03:37.679
Oh my god, the power raves.

1167
01:03:37.739 --> 01:03:40.559
They've delivered us a beautiful Cardassian baby.

1168
01:03:40.619 --> 01:03:42.119
I didn't fuck them up or I promise.

1169
01:03:42.960 --> 01:03:51.059
When the baby was literally doing full exorcist headspins. puppets, man.

1170
01:03:51.239 --> 01:03:52.019
What a trooper.

1171
01:03:52.079 --> 01:03:53.159
Puppets bring joy.

1172
01:03:53.219 --> 01:03:53.519
Awesome.

1173
01:03:54.119 --> 01:03:55.139
All right, what do you think?

1174
01:03:56.159 --> 01:03:58.079
I think you should press it again. too boring.

1175
01:03:58.139 --> 01:03:58.739
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1176
01:03:58.800 --> 01:04:00.840
I'm really hoping you'd give us a series 2 actually.

1177
01:04:01.739 --> 01:04:03.360
There's one.

1178
01:04:03.360 --> 01:04:05.460
I haven't done that much one. desperate for us to watch.

1179
01:04:06.300 --> 01:04:07.079
Oh, okay.

1180
01:04:10.139 --> 01:04:15.300
Your random Star Trek Enterprise episode is season one, episode 17 Fusion.

1181
01:04:16.380 --> 01:04:17.039
Fusion.

1182
01:04:17.099 --> 01:04:23.579
Tapol finds herself exploring dangerous recesses of her mind when a group of Vulcans who embrace their emotions.

1183
01:04:23.639 --> 01:04:28.019
This is the enterprise. standard enterprise sort of episode there.

1184
01:04:29.159 --> 01:04:29.699
It is.

1185
01:04:30.000 --> 01:04:32.579
Are they the people who like to mind meld?

1186
01:04:33.719 --> 01:04:36.719
There's quite a lot of those people about, you know, perverts.

1187
01:04:37.739 --> 01:04:38.579
Okay, all right.

1188
01:04:39.599 --> 01:04:43.440
There's plenty of those about as well, especially in season 2 DNG.

1189
01:04:45.480 --> 01:04:49.079
All right, we've got season one, episode 11, cold front.

1190
01:04:49.739 --> 01:04:50.760
Should we just go for it?

1191
01:04:50.820 --> 01:04:52.079
I mean, it could be anything.

1192
01:04:52.380 --> 01:04:56.400
As the Enterprise, place host to visitors on a religious retreat.

1193
01:04:56.460 --> 01:04:57.059
Uh-oh.

1194
01:04:57.480 --> 01:04:58.559
We're doing religion.

1195
01:04:59.039 --> 01:05:06.239
Archer is made aware of a Sulaban intruder who may be part of a conspiracy waged from centuries in the future.

1196
01:05:07.440 --> 01:05:08.519
That sounds thrilling.

1197
01:05:09.119 --> 01:05:09.719
It does.

1198
01:05:10.559 --> 01:05:15.239
I can think of many ways that the enterprise production team could make that thoroughly boring.

1199
01:05:15.840 --> 01:05:18.900
But on paper, it sounds like it could be expensive.

1200
01:05:18.900 --> 01:05:21.179
It sounds absolutely superb.

1201
01:05:21.659 --> 01:05:22.079
Yeah.

1202
01:05:22.380 --> 01:05:23.280
I think we'll do it.

1203
01:05:23.340 --> 01:05:24.059
I think we'll do it.

1204
01:05:24.599 --> 01:05:25.199
What the fuck?

1205
01:05:25.260 --> 01:05:27.179
Let's just take cold prone.

1206
01:05:27.360 --> 01:05:30.360
We've got season one at one point, haven't we?

1207
01:05:32.159 --> 01:05:34.920
Java gives it a hearty 3 styles.

1208
01:05:35.880 --> 01:05:38.639
Entertaining and intriguing, he says.

1209
01:05:39.179 --> 01:05:40.199
Oh, my goodness.

1210
01:05:40.500 --> 01:05:41.519
It's both.

1211
01:05:42.059 --> 01:05:42.780
There you go.

1212
01:05:42.840 --> 01:05:47.639
An indication of the whole arc to be is the ultimate paradox plot.

1213
01:05:47.699 --> 01:05:51.059
Oh, this sounds nightmarish to me. doesn't it?

1214
01:05:51.179 --> 01:05:51.780
All right.

1215
01:05:51.840 --> 01:05:52.559
Well, that's awesome.

1216
01:05:52.619 --> 01:05:53.460
That's brilliant.

1217
01:05:53.519 --> 01:05:54.960
Let's absolutely do that.

1218
01:05:55.260 --> 01:05:56.519
So it's cold.

1219
01:05:56.639 --> 01:05:59.820
I can give you one last fact before we sort of head out of this.

1220
01:06:00.119 --> 01:06:09.360
And that is, it's one of those rare episodes directed by, yes, the worst Robert himself, Mr. Duncan McNeil.

1221
01:06:09.960 --> 01:06:11.820
And he's actually a pretty good director.

1222
01:06:12.300 --> 01:06:14.460
A far-fair director that he is an actor.

1223
01:06:15.480 --> 01:06:16.619
Well, yeah.

1224
01:06:17.219 --> 01:06:18.119
The bar, though.

1225
01:06:27.480 --> 01:06:38.159
You've been listening to untitled Star Trek project with Joe Ford and Nathan Bottomley, where online at untitled Star Trek project.com, where you can find subscription links and links to our social media accounts.

1226
01:06:38.460 --> 01:06:43.619
Our podcast artwork is by Kayla Ciceran, and the theme was composed by Cameron Lamb.

1227
01:06:43.920 --> 01:06:49.920
This episode was recorded on the 22nd of September 2026 and released on the 25th of September.

1228
01:06:50.280 --> 01:06:54.000
We'll see you next time for Star Trek Enterprise, Cold Front.

1229
01:07:11.760 --> 01:07:16.199
So we've only done three, we've done three season one episodes of Enterprise.

1230
01:07:16.320 --> 01:07:17.820
We've done Strange World.

1231
01:07:17.820 --> 01:07:21.059
Unexpected and Oasis.

1232
01:07:22.139 --> 01:07:24.360
I don't even remember what race this is.

1233
01:07:24.840 --> 01:07:25.920
What was Oasis?

1234
01:07:26.099 --> 01:07:28.500
It's it's Renee out of makeup.

1235
01:07:28.559 --> 01:07:29.699
Oh, boy, so boring.

1236
01:07:30.300 --> 01:07:34.199
Stration New World was boring. and racist.

1237
01:07:34.260 --> 01:07:36.059
And unexpected was just...

1238
01:07:36.059 --> 01:07:37.980
I mean, it's true.

1239
01:07:38.280 --> 01:07:39.719
So we get to look at it.

1240
01:07:39.719 --> 01:07:40.500
It's the best one.

1241
01:07:40.920 --> 01:07:42.119
Yeah, it is the best one.

1242
01:07:42.599 --> 01:07:45.360
God almighty, there are some duds in there.

1243
01:07:46.019 --> 01:07:49.139
We've only done 4 episodes of season three.

1244
01:07:49.380 --> 01:07:59.159
God, he likes that one where Tripp and Reid go down to Riser, chasing skirt.

1245
01:07:59.519 --> 01:08:00.420
Of course he does.

1246
01:08:01.679 --> 01:08:02.519
Of course he does.

1247
01:08:03.239 --> 01:08:04.559
No, terrible.

1248
01:08:04.800 --> 01:08:06.659
I mean, he gave minefield a three.

1249
01:08:09.360 --> 01:08:16.319
Yeah, and he's given he's given just about every episode this season of Stranger World, less than one, Bam.

1250
01:08:17.279 --> 01:08:19.079
I mean, minefield, do you remember?

1251
01:08:19.439 --> 01:08:22.560
Oh, my old dad, who worked on shit.

1252
01:08:22.619 --> 01:08:23.340
Oh my god.

1253
01:08:26.220 --> 01:08:27.899
It gets annoying, sick, mate.

1254
01:08:28.199 --> 01:08:29.100
One star.

1255
01:08:30.300 --> 01:08:31.319
That's really good.

1256
01:08:31.619 --> 01:08:33.359
Why, what's the problem with that?

1257
01:08:33.720 --> 01:08:36.720
I don't understand why anyone would give that one star.

1258
01:08:37.319 --> 01:08:39.359
It's clearly...

1259
01:08:39.359 --> 01:08:42.840
We'll never ever land on the one I really want us to do, right?

1260
01:08:42.899 --> 01:08:45.239
So I'm just going to manipulate it in the near future.

1261
01:08:45.659 --> 01:08:46.439
Tell me what it is.

1262
01:08:46.500 --> 01:08:49.140
It's precious cargo in series two.

1263
01:08:49.859 --> 01:08:53.340
The Enterprise comes to the aid of an alien vessel.

1264
01:08:53.399 --> 01:08:54.300
I don't think we have.

1265
01:08:54.359 --> 01:08:56.159
I would definitely have said, let's do it.

1266
01:08:56.399 --> 01:09:03.840
It's like the perfect mate. only even worse It just has the worst performance of a guest car. actor.

1267
01:09:04.020 --> 01:09:07.260
Oh, you see, because that has Femke Jansen, who is a Bond girl.

1268
01:09:07.500 --> 01:09:08.819
She's not an actress, though.

1269
01:09:08.880 --> 01:09:12.659
They pulled in a model because she was a bit of a name at the time.

1270
01:09:12.899 --> 01:09:15.600
Yeah, but this woman with poor old trip.

1271
01:09:15.779 --> 01:09:20.399
I mean, she's just awful. and Jamak is it 0 stars.

1272
01:09:20.460 --> 01:09:23.220
I just want to do one of his 0 star episodes.

1273
01:09:25.500 --> 01:09:26.399
In the near future.

1274
01:09:27.000 --> 01:09:31.859
I will select season 2 and keep pressing until I get precious card.

1275
01:09:32.220 --> 01:09:33.180
You've done this.

1276
01:09:33.420 --> 01:09:34.619
I couldn't do this before.

1277
01:09:36.840 --> 01:09:38.100
You did it first.

1278
01:09:38.159 --> 01:09:38.699
You did it.

1279
01:09:38.760 --> 01:09:39.119
What was it?

1280
01:09:39.239 --> 01:09:39.840
You did it for?

1281
01:09:39.899 --> 01:09:40.680
What did I do it for?

1282
01:09:40.920 --> 01:09:42.960
Oh, God, a couple of times after that.

1283
01:09:43.079 --> 01:09:43.920
Short tricks.

1284
01:09:44.819 --> 01:09:46.500
It was so I couldn't get trouble with Edward.

1285
01:09:47.039 --> 01:09:49.560
I, um, yeah, it's a flexible format this.

1286
01:09:49.920 --> 01:09:51.119
Yeah, it's in the rules.

1287
01:09:51.180 --> 01:09:52.260
You weren't allowed to do it.

1288
01:09:53.640 --> 01:09:54.359
Oh God.

1289
01:09:54.479 --> 01:09:56.760
Why are all the enterprise titles so boring?

1290
01:09:57.720 --> 01:09:58.619
The crossing.

1291
01:09:59.399 --> 01:10:00.180
Horizon.

1292
01:10:01.079 --> 01:10:09.000
The breach. 1st flight, bounty, the expanse, anomaly.

1293
01:10:10.199 --> 01:10:12.000
Impulse, exile.

1294
01:10:12.000 --> 01:10:14.880
I mean, whatever happened to the...

1295
01:10:14.880 --> 01:10:17.100
I think Discovery...

1296
01:10:17.100 --> 01:10:19.140
Whatever happened to you for the world is hollow.

1297
01:10:19.260 --> 01:10:20.579
Yeah, no, I have touch.

1298
01:10:20.579 --> 01:10:23.579
Butcher's knife cares, not for the lab.

1299
01:10:23.640 --> 01:10:28.979
The lamb's cry. magic context is the kings. man, go, man.

1300
01:10:29.460 --> 01:10:31.560
I love all of these shitty tiles.

1301
01:10:32.939 --> 01:10:34.739
Oh, series 2, they got a bit boring.

1302
01:10:35.579 --> 01:10:36.300
There's three.

1303
01:10:36.300 --> 01:10:38.039
The Red Angels a good time.

1304
01:10:38.220 --> 01:10:44.220
Die trying. that's pretty cool Oh, you like that hope it's you.

1305
01:10:44.279 --> 01:10:45.840
They got a bit more boring as they went along.

1306
01:10:46.560 --> 01:10:48.119
So serious one ones are the best.

1307
01:10:49.319 --> 01:10:52.800
I like Rosetta. is a good name for that episode.

1308
01:10:53.399 --> 01:10:55.739
I mean, nothing tops the lower deck styles.

1309
01:10:57.600 --> 01:10:59.640
I should do about...

1310
01:11:00.359 --> 01:11:03.840
What about where Pleasant Fountains lie, where it's about cunnilingus?

1311
01:11:04.199 --> 01:11:05.640
No, I mean, all of them are great.

1312
01:11:06.000 --> 01:11:07.619
Magato, Gombato.

1313
01:11:08.819 --> 01:11:09.659
Embarrassing.

1314
01:11:09.840 --> 01:11:10.500
Dinklers.

1315
01:11:10.619 --> 01:11:11.760
But that joke, right?

1316
01:11:11.819 --> 01:11:13.380
Much to do about boim now, yeah?

1317
01:11:13.439 --> 01:11:15.960
I'm sure that pays off brilliantly in the episode, yeah?

1318
01:11:16.739 --> 01:11:17.939
And it's a clever pun.