Hey, Joe. Hi.
So, this week, we're watching an episode of Star Trek Lower Decks, and it is season two, episode seven, 1st broadcast on the 23rd of September 2021.
It's where Pleasant Fountains lie.
I would have called it Kingdom Come.
It is actually a much ruder title than you think.
There are a number of titles of Star Trek episodes that are taken from Shakespeare, obviously.
This is a quote from his narrative poem, Venus and Adonis.
So we have a couple of Shakespeare poems apart from his plays.
The Rape of Lucreus is one and Venus and Adonis is the other one.
Venus is trying to seduce Adonis, who is a beautiful young man, but he's not interested, and we don't know why, but he's a big gay, isn't he?
And in this part of the poem, she imagines that she's a park and that he's a deer who is playing in the park.
And this is what Venus says to him.
Fondling, she saith, since I have hemmed thee here within the circuit of this ivory pale, I'll be a park, and thou shalt be my dear.
Feed where thou wilt, on mountain or in dale, graze on my lips, and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.
So naughty.
Yeah, it's about her downstairs area.
That's interesting, but...
The creators of lower decks have inserted a pun about cunnolingus to this episode.
They absolutely have done that.
Yes.
It comes a time when you don't know that you're watching Star Trek anymore.
Yes, that's it.
What has happened to the Magic of Star Trek?
No wonder it's so sexless.
This is no way sex was, but it was fabulous.
It's one of the few Star Trek episodes I've watched, you know, and oddly, for a cartoon where I started having very unusual feelings at certain parts of the episodes.
I mean, we'll discuss it when we get, we've got sex therapy for me today, you know?
We talk about this.
I think I might be more fluid than our fool.
So we have 2 plants here.
The plot against the title.
So we'll call that the A plot is the chief engineer, Andy Billips, who is played by Paul Sheer.
You might know him from the good place, where he plays a member of the Good Place committee towards the end of the final season.
Oh, yeah.
He's also in a bunch of episodes of Fresh off the boat.
He's sort of regular on fresh off the boat.
He's there, hop nobbing it with Lisa Cuttrow, isn't he?
The whole teams at the end.
So remember the people at the end?
They're really annoying one.
They're like the Democrats.
You know, they're like well-intentioned, but they constantly want to compromise and can't actually get anything done. and so he's one of them.
And he is married to June, Diane Rafael, who I 1st saw in Grace and Frankie, but again, like him, she's super famous as a massively big career.
Those 2 are married, and of course, June, Diane Raphael plays his mother in this.
Oh, is that the queen?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Was her name?
June, Diane Raphael.
I mean, it's the perfect English name for the most English performance is American.
I'll salute her then for her upper crossness.
This episode.
Hello.
I mean, I say, the savage takedown of the English in a number of very, very well written gags and observations in this episode.
You have to be an Englishman to truly appreciate how much you're being insulted.
And of course, the great thing about it is that it plays with genre.
And so, you know, it's a fantasy genre thing.
So their spaceship is powered by dragon breath instead of, I don't know what, you know, EPS conduits or something.
And so...
Taken care of by the blacksmiths.
The blacksmiths, yeah. exactly right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so all of that's terribly fun.
And Billips's mother is trying to trick him into having sex, because if he loses his virginity, he will have to take his rightful place as king of his planet.
That is just a perfect lower decks premise. right?
It's a bit cheeky.
It's a bit edgy.
It's hilarious.
And it tells us something about the characters by the end as well.
It's really sweet, and that's the one that, of course, that Tendy and Rutherford are in there in that plot.
And meanwhile, the B plot has Mariner and Boimler escorting Agamus, the evil computer.
That's right, yeah.
Who is played, of course, by Jeffrey Coombs.
The man of a 1000 voices and parts.
Well, he just very definitely is here to sound like Jeffrey Coombs, you know, like it's kind of like, so the viewers at home know that we've got Jeffrey Coombs here, but he does an exaggerated cartoon voice for Agamus.
And he's terrific.
He's obviously back later in the run of the show.
I think we've already seen him in fact in an episode.
That's a spin line between Agamus and Wayoon, all right?
Because Wayu could be a bit comic book as well.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that's what I would.
I mean, I was seeing Wayne's face, but I was just watching that flashy box, manipulate and cajole, poor Boimler, or something, into betraying Mariner.
Oh, it was just heaven.
So good.
It's so good.
And we've made fun of Landrew before, haven't we?
So Landry, remember the computer?
I can't remember the name of the original series episode and he has control over the planet and we actually go back to that planet and discovered that they've gone back to worshipping land true.
Again, when we go there for 2nd contact.
Nomads.
We've seen a few of these already.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
And so it turns out there's a whole annex in the Daystrom Institute that's just full of maniacal computers.
There's 1000s that are fucking fingers in these little prisons.
They're all just telling each other off.
You couldn't take down the federation if your mother depended on it and all this.
I was like, come on.
It's so, so funny.
But there's absolutely a character Fred running through that plot as well of mariner, thinking Boyem's not ready for stuff.
And Boyemla pulling the rug at the last minute and proving that he is.
It's great stuff.
And also, I think there's still, there's still that thing about Mariner being slightly hurt about Boemer going to the Titan.
And...
Oh, stop going on about the Titan.
She says at one point.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But she was genuinely hurt and genuinely at a loss when that happened.
So that's kind of nice.
It's so tight this show.
It's so tight.
Every time we go back, I'm reminded.
You can do these episodes in 25 minutes with 2 plots without scrimping on the development or the incident or the enjoyment.
I'm starting to wonder, you know, if this sort of 45, 50 minute Star Trek is that's the wrong approach, you know?
Just give me one massive hit of Star Trek nursing 25 minutes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, I mean, nowadays, you know, Strangely Worlds is basically an hour long every week.
Yeah, too long.
Sorry.
I mean, I love it, but yeah, I love 25 minutes, an hour.
I'm kind of going, oh, really?
Okay.
You just can't get bored in 25 minutes.
It's so quick the way it moves.
And because it is a cartoon, you know, the gags just keep coming.
And they've got to a point now where, I mean, I think there was moments in series one where they were feeling their way in with some of these guys. how far can we go with this?
Have we gone far enough with that?
But series 2, I just feel like they just know what they're doing.
I watched this and I messaged you afterwards and said there wasn't one part of that that wasn't brilliant.
There wasn't one part of that where the line between being affectionate and taking the piss.
It was an absolutely spot on.
I love it.
I just love this show.
This might be my favourite Kurtzman show, you know?
Yeah, yeah.
It's maybe my favourite Star Trek.
I mean, just because...
It would take a lot to defrone DS9 for me.
Yeah, yeah.
But, you know, like there is the speed and the fun and the just ability to take it sort of further than anything else while remaining incredibly true to kind of the spirit of Star Trek.
And, you know, I was just thinking of you when, uh, they're going to bury Agamus or something and, um, boy, I'm objects and Marinico's stupid Starfleet ethics or something. just thought of you.
Oh, sorry every week, you know, all this thing.
The only way, the only way lower decks, unfortunately, can't happen, can it, is if I sat down and watched it with my mother.
But I can't do that.
No, sorry, it will always be a DSLide, but in terms of watching on me own, I mean, it's just blissful.
I mean, I don't really know what to say about this episode beyond that was great.
That was great.
I'm gonna try and be more specific than that.
But guys, it's great.
It's just great.
All right, on that, I think we should go in.
Yeah, it makes sense.
Refreshing change, you know.
Usually we slag something off for 15 minutes and then go, well, all right, then.
Now we're like, yes, let's go.
Yeah.
Let's hope we don't run out of things to say that aren't just, it's great because I won't say that.
I'm gonna say it all the way through.
I've got to start quoting Shakespeare back at you, right?
All right.
I'll count it in.
Five, four, three, two, one, and we are off.
Can I tell you something that always shocks me when a lower deck episode starts.
I take a 2nd to remind myself it's a cartoon.
They always open on a shot of the ship and for a 2nd I'm convinced I'm watching live action.
It's so good.
It's really great So here we are and we're on this planet.
These guys, this guy's called Momol, and they have been worshipping Agamus, even though the guy doesn't admit it.
And I think this is just... is on the wall, right?
With guys.
Yeah, it was very cute.
They've got fucking eyebrows.
I mean look at these aliens.
They're great, aren't they?
It's from the Michael West 4 scrapbook, isn't it?
Yeah, yeah.
I keep thinking about how aliens are done now that Michael Westmore's not involved because Michael Westmore is just sort of various wide American people with latex on their foreheads and stuff.
Oh, happy days, nation.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
I'm being sophisticated and dull these days with the makeup.
These guys look really good.
I mean, these guys look good.
Well, that's because he's ripping up Michael Westman.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
So, and now he's the he's the A-plant.
Um, and we're about to see um, we're about to see Billips's mother on the screen.
I was about to say, why is that birdman on the bridge, but of course he's the counsellor, isn't he?
Of course he's on the bridge.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. right.
He's on that.
She's dressed up like Queen Elizabeth.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So yeah, they even used, they even say that it was like a planet that has dragons on it and so it was settled by various people, Ren fair people, like Renaissance fair people.
Yeah.
Dragons, Renaissance, I see you lower decks, all right?
But again, I mean, you know, we've had the gangster planet and we've had the planet of Native Americans and, you know, like we've had the Nazi planet and we've had the ancient Romans planet.
So it is a thing that Star Trek Dars.
Even the line, the line into the credits.
Have you been eating your eggs?
Yeah?
Right?
I'm telling you now, the 2 highest sellers are work in a shop.
It's bananas and eggs.
We're obsessed in England, all right?
Whoever has written this, knows an Englishman or an Englishwoman, all right?
She goes, have you been taking your vitamins?
Your moustache is not looking great.
It's so good.
And Philips is very sweet, isn't he, as a character?
And I really like, like, he is a dog.
No, so because he seems to be sort of asexual.
And I think what's really funny is, of course, his mother doesn't know if he's gay or not.
His mother doesn't know if he's gay or not, and so she sends, she just sends, you know, like a man and a woman there to seduce him.
Like, you would, she doesn't care which way it goes as long as, as long as he loses his virginity. exactly.
I mean, the threat at the end, I mean, it killed me when she went, one day, you will lose your virginity.
I will make it happen.
That's the threat at the end of the episode.
And so Boimler has a phaser rifle and Marin goes, what's that?
How is that different from a regular phaser?
And he says it takes 2 hands.
And also, I would say it's made out of balsa wood.
Oh, boy.
Two hands, you say.
Well, sometimes, you know, depends how it gorged you on.
Don't say wet work.
I mean, the dialogue for out there. so good.
And so Boimler again is now wanting to fight giant centipedes because I guess he's come back from the Titan.
Is that it?
And she has, she's kind of undermined him.
And it does seem that that scene that Agamus shows them later. is, I think.
Oh, she says it's true.
She says it's true. she goes, no, you're not ready.
Yeah, I mean, initially she goes, oh, is that what he showed you?
Like trying to convince you.
But then she absolutely amiss.
Yes.
I don't think you're ready.
Which means I mean, look at this.
Did you see the docking port extreme?
Look so fat looks like a penis coming up.
Come on.
But it also just looked impressive.
Do you know what I mean?
Like if that happened on Voyager, you would be going, that looks amazing.
This entire episode is a series of sex gags.
I'm telling you now.
Even engineering looks a little suggestive right now.
I do think that that's a beautiful warp core, though.
Don't you think that uh, Billops looks like he belongs from the village people?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, I think the moustache.
I mean, like this is what year?
Like, when did we start getting moustaches back in earnest, do you think?
No, this is 2021.
This is 5 years ago.
Well, you look at that castle diagram on the wall.
I mean, this perfect English fairy castle, wasn't it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah God's sakes.
That's just gone, how can we take the piss out of the Brits?
How many ways?
Well, but I mean, she is also kind of like Luaxana, isn't she?
Um, you know, uh, she isn't super, like she doesn't approve of Billips in Starfleet using his special skills and thinks that uh, he's wasting his time and that he should be back doing something else.
And remember, like Sana is the heir to the holy chalice of reeks or whatever the sacred rings of Beta's head or whatever she is, you know, she's royal too.
Just that line.
It's time I proved to my mother that I'm more than just the royal stud.
All right?
Yeah, that's right.
Royal stunt.
Is that Harry or William?
I'm not sure which, they're both quite old now.
I love I love the I need to get you out of your comfort zone and he says, but I love my zone.
It's so comfortable.
Well, and then she thinks she's killed him.
It's so sad. she's there at the window looking at the wreckage whilst he's living it up at a banquet hall I think, I wonder, because they're still experimenting with what they can legitimately do.
And I think we know watching this as a cartoon that Rutherford's not dead.
But I wonder whether it might have been better to have seen that rather than have Tendee, you know.
I mean, she doesn't even play it.
Do you know what I mean?
Because we know it's not real as audience members.
It's a fate worse on deaf, Nathan.
They're going to the Daystrom Institute.
No, but they're crashing the most boring place in Starfleet.
Look at that.
Did you see that?
The crush from the window.
Yeah, yeah, it looks amazing. coming up at them.
So we do see the daystream, we do see the daystream Institute both in Starfleet, Star Trek, Picard, and in this, and it's the same establishing shot of the daystream Institute, but one of them.
It's a cartoon and one of them.
It's like live action.
The colour palette, the visuals that they draw, it's very final mission.
All of this.
Yeah, yeah, isn't it?
And it just looks more spectacular than anything in 90s trek.
I mean, just the imagination.
Well, they've got a shuttle with smashed windows and all sorts, you know, they wouldn't smash the windows back in the night.
We'll have to repair them, you know.
And for some reason, the replicator only does liquorice.
I love liquorice, but I love the light.
It's even funnier when she gets the juice out of the thing and she goes, are you fucking kidding me?
It's luckerish.
Oh boy.
I'm being stuck on a planet with the evil computer.
Oh, that's another great lower deck premise.
Yeah, it's really great.
Let me help you.
He goes, please.
I couldn't believe at the end, nobody's like, I shall join Starfleet and be a valuable man.
It comes to him going, I will take down the Federation.
So good.
Oh, boy.
Look at the patterns on the wall. wonderful.
Ostentatiousness. satisfied.
Look at the woman dancing around. bloody Rapunzel there.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
So it is English people, but it is also just fairy tales, isn't it?
Like that's kind of the fun about it.
My chief blacksmith.
That's what she called her engineer.
But the, the, the, the, the, the, strumming on his mandolin, look.
Yep, yep.
Yeah. awesome.
It's like they just want to pack in. so much to make me laugh visually.
When she said about the blacksmiths, I lost it.
It's so good.
It is so great.
I just wanted them to come along looking like actual blacksmiths.
Oh, the line as well, Nathan, right?
so perfect.
Where he goes, oh, so now you approve of my job as an engineer.
She goes, no, let's not go too far.
She goes, I'll just say, I'm satisfied, which is what my mother used to say to me.
But did you see, did you see those two, the 2 guards who are following her are the guards that she obviously sends to his quarters later on.
And she's already, she's already flirting with him in this scene.
They are fucking him with their eyes.
I can't keep their eyes off him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. awesome.
Oh, actually, this, I'm also getting indiscretion vibes as well, which is the one where Dukat and Kira have a shuttle crash on the desert planet.
Oh, yeah, okay.
You know.
But they do, don't they?
They do this, so you make the you make the connection between this and 90s trek, and then they do their own thing with it.
But they can do better monsters and they can do better aliens, you know, and more imaginative. planetary landscapes, better spaceships.
I mean, I could go on.
Yeah, but again, you know, that's the 90s and budget and stuff like that.
Yeah, look at that.
I'm sorry.
Agamon went, well, my scared show, but you could lose a few pounds anyway.
Mariner goes, are we going there, really?
And so he's already stretched out a chord and has transferred data from her pad.
So that will come up a bit later, I think.
That just looks stunning, doesn't it?
Like that.
But even the graphics.
I'm seeing 90 Strik.
It's a bit, it's more sophisticated, but it's just enough.
No, it's still that elk, it's interface, isn't it?
Like, it's still absolutely that.
Black liquorice, black.
They're going off to the tea now.
No, but it's also, it's also Janeway ordering coffee too. isn't it?
Coffee, black. crushed black.
I'm going to say that next time I go into the health shop.
Black liquorice.
Black.
Yeah, we could bury him like Data's head.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, his head was in a cave, all right?
That's right.
We're not doing time's arrow this week.
Maybe next week.
But we are referring to it at least, which is awesome.
Yes.
Yeah.
Look at how he's got the money.
Look, I've seen men going around the shop with babies, but instead of an evil homicidal supercomputer.
There was a fabulous personal colour, the other day, no food, shut the baby on the back like a rucksack.
The baby was having so much fun.
It was just hanging there behind her.
Oh, boy.
Look at this.
I mean, this is like Jack and the Beanstalk. we doing that as well?
Yeah.
Except it's covered in great, horrible prickles look.
Yeah, but we're getting all this character stuff here now about Boemler, you know, leaving her and Boemler thinking that he's gone ahead of her.
Because remember, like it's the, I think it's the 2nd episode, the one where she just absolutely outclasses him.
They go on this sort of escort mission and stuff and she's capable of coping with everything and she actually has to let him win at some point near the end so he's not completely humiliated.
But now at this point after he's been on the Titan and stuff, he is, he thinks as good as her.
And of course, he's the one who solves this problem.
But in order for that twist to work, the episode has to convince us that she is right, right up until that point, which is why it goes to such great lengths to show that Agamon.
Is that his name?
Ag Agamon?
Agamos is such a great name.
I said great.
Sorry that was my 1st one.
That Agamus has absolutely bewitched him, right?
And we are convinced until he goes round, it goes half full June.
Yeah.
It's so great.
Oh, look, are the Aurora Borealis beyond him?
So during the day, during the day, it's all orange and yellow and at night, it's some purple and green, it's beautiful.
Here we go.
It's lovely.
This is the flashback, not the flashback, but the betrayal.
We don't know, do we?
It's partly, she doesn't think he's ready, and it's partly, I don't think she wants to be separated from him again.
And it's partly, I'm gonna punish you because you left me.
Yeah, yeah.
But I also think that she likes the dynamic where she's in charge and she knows what's what and she's smart and hardbitten and he's only been to 3M class planets or something.
Like he mentions that, you know, he even includes Vulcan in his count of M-class planets and earth that he's been on in the very 1st episode.
And we mentioned that M class count here and how he's, you know, long since exceeded it and so it's that, I think.
I mean, ultimately, Nathan, it does prove himself to be a very capable young man, but he's still a twat on a regular basis.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's why we love him.
But he's still tripped down the ravines and all of this and every planet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, I love Rutherford.
I just think he's great.
I do too.
He's so adorable.
He's my 2nd grade.
Sorry.
Yeah.
He is adorable.
I think he's very sweet.
And again, Eugene Cordero, who we know from the good place and from uh crazy ex-girlfriend.
Um, and like he again plays it big like a child, doesn't he?
Like he plays it like a cartoon character.
What a nerve.
She just came in and went, the Royal Navy is saved.
The royal name.
And they called him his colour squire.
I Oh man.
I love how she's dressed.
Can you get me one of those ruffles, please?
I'll come to one of these calls dressed like that, yeah.
Oh, God.
Is this where he goes?
Oh, no, no.
We've got to go through the sort of faked destruction, don't we?
And then we go to the courts.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, this was so great.
Her giving him an out.
I thought I'd get you away from your mother, isn't it?
Well, yeah, yeah.
And she's clearly a known thing. isn't she?
Like, clearly, Carol knows who she is.
We don't have to introduce her to Carol.
She knows how annoying she is.
That's a great sudden shot, isn't it?
Well, she says, I know, she thinks she knows what's best for you.
But she probably doesn't know what's best for you.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I understand as a mother.
I love his line.
I didn't know all the readings were nominal, which I just think is so great.
Like, what the fuck does normally mean?
I love that.
I'm going to keep mentioning that.
The squire just said, long live the Queen.
The Queen is dead.
Long live the queen.
Oh, I didn't think they should make tend to...
I've got a whole ad break now to watch her being sad.
The drama, the drama.
I know, I know.
You are right, though.
It's the one relationship in Star Trek that's just always cute, right?
Yeah, it's never toxic at any point.
No, it's very sweet.
It is very sweet.
The 2 of them are adorable.
And it is because the 2 of them are so enthusiastic.
And he's more chill than her.
You know, she has that slight manic edge, which I love.
That's what I love about Tenny.
I just think she's terrific.
Um, but she's been trying to get his tanklies in sort of computer ever since we landed. that's right.
That's unlike Philips, who's been trying to keep his danglies out of everyone.
I like to think that in the writer's room, right?
Because I'm sure they all contribute lines.
It was like, right, here's the plot.
Now, everyone just throw filthy lines on me.
This is the plot.
But this this is great and they have a proper fist fight as well, which is great.
Oh, this was fabulous.
You wouldn't have the guts to shoot me.
Yeah, and it was well, it was as well like, I, I couldn't predict where this was going as well. by the way he does that.
He looks sad.
There's a little moment where he gives her this look and you sort of think, oh, okay, I think this was I had to do this for some reason.
And then he heads off.
She added Rutherford to the deceased file.
Did you see?
I know.
That's so sad.
And look, it goes from colour to black and white.
I mean, that's mean.
That is.
Look.
These hot, hot guards.
I know.
Okay, I'm just going to discuss this now because we're going sort of quarters in a second.
So the 2 goals there.
They all take all their clothes off, don't they?
They're sitting there in sort of decorous positions, waiting to fuck the man.
They are wearing nice.
Yeah, but not when you go in. you can't see the undies start off with Nathan.
I mean, honest to God, I really wanted to be him in that moment.
I don't know what was going on.
I wanted those 2 cartoons to ravish me.
Forget you and the ball queen.
Getting turned on by bloody pictures now.
Yeah, she's finding him.
She can't believe it.
She knows this is a cartoon. would never happen.
And the fact that he's at a banqueting table holding this enormous chicken leg in his hand.
So I can't. come and join us.
Please.
Oh, Christ.
I mean, Jesus Christ, how long has this been on?
It hasn't stopped giving.
Nearly 20 minutes.
I just hasn't stopped giving in every scene.
We're about a quarter of 3 quarters of the way through.
Oh, that's kind of sad.
I want it longer.
Well, that's why I always watch a bunch of them in a row when I'm watching low day.
It's just like, I'm here for the evening.
I'll put half a season on.
It is great as well because when Borner's talking to the computer now, he does look evil, right?
I mean, they're going to every length to prove to you that he has been seduced.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's great.
It's a little...
He's started.
He's come out and start flavouring.
Oh boy.
It's very awkward when that happens, you know.
I know.
Yes, there they are.
Oh, how refined.
He does have a big turkey leg.
Look at her.
Oh, chinking.
Well, what sort of wine do you imagine?
It's a nice Merlo, perhaps?
Yeah, perhaps.
But she goes straight and hugs him, like grabs him and pushes him to the ground.
It's so sweet.
Somehow, no matter what she's saying, the queen, she just looks like she's scheming.
No, he has a look in around.
Actually, what she's saying at this moment, he's destroying his virginity and Rutherford goes, but he loves his virginity.
Oh, the joke of him now.
We've got to stop him fucking.
I've got to run.
And then it just keeps cutting back to the quarters, and then it comes to him running, and it's the usual sort of tense, you know, countdown scene that you get at the end of an episode, but I can't believe it's about having sex.
Oh, no, you can see the MDs.
They're hot, but the guy's really hot, isn't he?
It's crazy.
Oh, boy.
I don't know, Nathan.
Where should we be between both of them?
And Billy...
Look at him.
He's suddenly he's ripped as well.
Why go 3 way when you can go 4 way?
Oh my god.
He has got the most delicious bubble butt, hasn't he?
The very action to seeing his Wang, though, like both of them, their jaws drop.
I can't believe they got away with that like, did his kingdom come?
You don't have to do sex.
He's in the mirror going, come on, please.
Come on.
Oh, dude, fortunately, I mean, I'm getting older.
The table, come. not been there yet.
We all have that moment, I'm sure.
And this is wonderful because this is not real.
This is a fantasy sequence.
You know, of him imagining the future and he's sat upon a big pile of skulls and surrounded by drones. fetched skulls.
Yeah, it's awesome.
And then Boimler reveals that it was all a trick.
You've been too busy scheming to notice that I put you into the power thing and the just rush signal's been going.
Oh, God, Nathan, look at that corpse beyond them.
Yeah, I know, it's great, isn't it?
It's so good.
What the hell is it?
So, I don't know, but it looks very kind of late Star Trek.
And so he's plugged him into the thing where he has access to the dimmer switch, in the bridge, and he goes, you know, I, you dare to block, to mock Anjemus, I shall blind you, and he turns the light on the bridge on and off.
Oh, gosh.
But they both sort of look up very disinterested.
Oh, okay.
Thank you.
So good.
Oh, dear.
Oh, this was my scene.
I was howling with laughter when, oh, there you go.
With all the mutton.
A horrible thing only English people can tolerate.
I will be a virgin for the rest of my life.
She goes, we'll see about that.
Exactly, isn't it?
This should have worked, but it's just no.
But again, you get this very sweet character moment and it is cartoonish. like it works on a cartoon level.
You know, I shouldn't have pushed you too far.
It's fine.
Oh, you know, like we're in Starfleet.
I guess there's going to be times where each of us thinks the other one's dead or whatever.
Look at the, what's going on behind them, that enormous cake on the console and everyone's having a little nibble.
Oh, how delightful.
We've been picked up.
Well, this has been quite an adventure, wasn't it?
picked up by a runabout and someone's wearing a deep space 9 uniform on it, which is kind of good.
Lovely to see it.
Oh, yes.
I just, I love this bit because it reminds me of the scene where um, where Worf um, tried to, that's where Garak tried to convince Worf that he wanted to join Starfleet.
It's just like that moment.
We just conquer this lab.
And then I will take over the Federation.
You will know nothing of the sort.
I will annihilate the Federation.
Tremble at my power with that programming.
Good luck.
So, Fred, Tatashura isn't in this episode as Shacks, Shacks isn't in this episode.
And so he is actually playing that evil computer just to the right of Agemus, who are going to assume he's making fun of.
Did you ever watch Terror Hawks?
Did Jerry Anderson show?
No.
Oh my god, absolutely terrifying Zelda, the evil witch queen, still terrifies me to this day with her cackling off.
But she had a series of robots, right?
Um, with different sort of coloured faces.
Look, that looked just like those robots at the end of that.
I don't know if there's a parallel there that someone's seen it.
Um, but and at the end of every Terror Holt episode, the whole thing would turn into a chessboard and the square robots would play um, crosses and the chessboard every time.
So it looked a bit like that sort of coming out as well.
Oh, that was just so funny.
I think I only said gray twice.
It might have been more.
I probably said more than you did, though.
In the heat of the moment, I mean, in the heat of the moment.
That was a hot episode.
I mean, it just goes to prove to me that, you know, we've seen sex comedies in 90s trek, which generally fall on their face because, whoa, they're not sexy.
And we've seen sex comedies in Kurtzman Trek, uh, which is, uh, you know, the spot ones in Strangely Wells, which are very, very sexy because Ethan Beck generally takes his top off.
And well, hello.
Yeah, yeah.
Very, very sexy.
And we've seen, we haven't watched, but I have seen sex comedies back in TOS's time, which are usually just incredibly sexist.
Yeah, yeah.
But I think this is the best one, I think.
Yeah, it is pretty great.
It is pretty great.
Although I do have to say, there is, of course, peanut hamper and that birdman boning as well quite a lot in that other episode that we've already done.
Oh, but that was a character trial, but surely not a comedy.
All right, it's the end of the episode and it's time for us to work out where we're going next.
This was my choice.
Oh, choice.
So you have the goal.
Well, take it over now. choosing all the best episodes. the bad ones and I get to choose.
It used to be me.
The shoes bought the best ones and every time you add the randomiser, feared for my life.
Now it's gone the other way round. about time we watched an episode of Enterprise, I think, to be honest.
Oh, well, you got the choice next week or I go in there now.
That's your kink, not mine.
Now, listen, I just say at the start, I might just choose Strange New Wills, you know, so we can have some bit of fun with that.
But unfortunately, the Paul of just putting everything in.
It's just, it lures me in if you give me this option to choose all of Star Trek and just finding out what happens, you know?
Should I do that in the world?
Let's do that.
Okay, all right.
Oh, well, it's one we've done.
Oh what is it?
I think you've got this set to dismal when I do this.
Why is it?
Season two, episode 19 of the next generation, manhunt.
Oh that's terrible.
What's awful, wasn't it?
Okay, let's see what we get next.
Okay.
Oh, I have no idea what this is.
It's a short trek.
It's another short episode.
It's season two, episode five.
Ephraim and Dot.
Yeah E frame and dot.
Yeah.
So dot is a dot.
Um, like one of those little robots that cleans up around the place.
They're just going around in the background doing all the work.
I'm not sure what Ephraim is.
Is he a triple?
I can't remember.
It's a cartoon.
So it's like an early attempt to do cartoons before Lower Decks comes along.
It's very short.
It has heaps and heaps of references to original trek, and it's just sort of terribly sweet and strange and not very long.
What do you think?
I mean, you're compelling me to do this.
You know what to spend time with me anymore?
You want to do all these short episodes?
No, let's do it because I don't think we've touched upon short treks for some time.
So it'd be quite interesting to, and we've got to, you know, we've got to cover them all.
Yeah, yeah, let's do it.
I fancy it.
Is it a romance between the two?
No, because they're kind of both weird cartoon characters, but it is very sweet and very, very odd.
It'll be interesting to see what I make of it, actually.
Now that I think of it, because it has been a while and I've only seen it once.
It'd be interesting to see what we think.
Let's do it.
I think so.
You've been listening to entitled Star Trek Project with Joe Ford and Nathan Bottomley.
We're online at untitled star trekproject.com where you can find subscription links and links to our social media accounts.
Our podcast artworkers by Kayla Ciceran, and the theme was composed by Cameron Lam.
This episode was recorded on the 11th of August 2026 and released on the 14th of August.
We'll see you next time for Star Trek, Short Trek, the Framan.
Okey-dokey.
Everyone never kill you.
What's the?
Oh, 52.
Okay.
Yeah, no, we're good.
We're good.
Oh, so great.
It's such a good show.
I mean, the lower decks ones do generally come down to what's quoting a load of lines, but who cares?
It's so funny I think two, you know, like all of those people, all those people on Gemma's, like the review of the latest episode, and them all saying that, um, that mostly Kurtzman Trek doesn't take it the whole thing seriously enough, and it's just reefing on it and having not and being funny and stuff and kind of ruining it, and just sort of think, no, I think this is a properly good Star Trek series that does Star Trek things, that just happens to be a cartoon. mind those people.
We don't even have to think about them.
That's terrible people.
They have no joy in their lives, you know?
They're studying the technical manuals every night.
That's fun too.
That is fun too.
So you say, yeah.
Well, I bet that I bet Tony Newsome has a well thumbed second.
I'd rather be cuddling up with Billups.
Thank you very much.
Did you say I saw something because there was a San Diego Comic-Con, you know, like last month or whatever with all of these people on it and they showed the horror episode of Stranger Worlds and everyone was on it.
But then I saw convention footage the other day where the 4 leads of lower decks were there at like, you know, Tawny, Jack, Noll, and Eugene were all there on a panel, and then suddenly Dawn Lewis, Carol Freeman came on and started lecturing them and telling them all off, like, and I didn't expect it.
So great.
What the hell is going on here on the stage?
And one of the things that I do like is, you know, this is in the 90s we didn't have Instagram.
We didn't have, you know, YouTube.
We didn't have any of that sort of stuff.
And just seeing all these people all the time and all their convention appearances when they do things and hearing and talk and stuff is actually really sweet.
I'm still here.
It is nice now that all of those 90s cruise.
They, you know, they get to enjoy the conventions.
That circuit is sort of blown up in the wake of the last sort of 10, 15 years.
And so they get the recognition, especially like the DS9 and Voyager cruise, which I think were a bit dismissed in favour of the next generation crew.
The best Robert and Ethan, you know, like all over the place, I think, just wonderful, you know, just great.
I mean, I love it when Terry Farrell and Nicole de Boa come out together, you know, and they sort of approach Michael Dawn and he's like, oh, fucking hell, with both of them.
She's beautiful, Nicola Burr looks so beautiful now.
So great.
I'm so pleased as well, but she did one season, but she's just embraced it, hasn't she?
And Star Trek has embraced her.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They could have just gone, well, it ain't Harry Farrell, so we don't want no part of her, but she's lovely.
I love her.
I love her in deep, so it's nice.
It would have been lovely to have had another year of tea, but I'm, you know, that was something new to do in the last year.
That's cool.
I mean, I just see her in that cocktail dress, uh, in bad, bad, you remember, with the drinks.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So cute.
So tiny and cute.
Okay, I'm here.
I'm on the page All right, it's the end of the episode.