WEBVTT

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This transcript was created on 2026-06-06 at 21:53:35

1
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Hey, Joe. Hi.

2
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So, we are watching Star Trek Enterprise, or I think, at this point in its run, just Enterprise.

3
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We're a bit embarrassed, aren't we?

4
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A bit embarrassed by it.

5
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We are a little bit.

6
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It's series 2, episode 3, and it's called Minefield.

7
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It's written by John Shaban, who is a X-Files alumnus, and he's some kind of producer on this as well.

8
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And its job, according to him, is to explore the under-explored relationship between Reid and Archer.

9
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Now, I would suggest that at the end of this episode. still underexplores.

10
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It's really funny because I have watched a fair bit of enterprise and it's the only Star Trek that I haven't kind of watched all of, sort of.

11
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And I have to admit that as far as I can tell, Malcolm Reed has no actual personality characteristics of any kind.

12
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That is the correct assessment.

13
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Okay, all right.

14
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That's right.

15
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The most boring character.

16
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Star Trek ever gave us.

17
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Like, listen, man, I know you're doing your own podcast and you're very proud to be part of this show, but Jesus Christ, you need to focus on another part of your career, not this. is not your finest hour. poor bastard.

18
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So part of the problem, I think, with this is that.

19
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It's not really an episode about anything other than John Shaban looking back at series one and kind of going, we really should address this character, which is a reasonable kind of writer's instinct, but there's nothing there.

20
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And so the whole story is really plotting and really slow.

21
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It's thin, like there's nothing to it, and the central thing, which is just an interminable conversation between Reid and Archer, which goes nowhere, and does the usual boring Star Trek trick of alternating between talking about the job that we're doing and talking about our incredibly overcooked backstory?

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And so the whole thing just sort of flops terribly.

23
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It's really boring isn't it?

24
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Well, the trouble is as well is they don't really dig up anything interesting about his personality whilst they're also stuck in the most ridiculously cliched situation you could possibly be in.

25
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He's basically strapped to a bomb.

26
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Yep, strapped it off.

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I mean, it's just the most...

28
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An ambitious premise, I can imagine for a Star Trek episode.

29
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Because we've done it.

30
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We done it in Warhead and Voyager.

31
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We did it in, what was the DS 91?

32
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Starship Down, and that was great fun with Quork and that, trying to diffuse that bomb.

33
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But with this bear, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.

34
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I was trying to put my finger on, why read really fails as a character.

35
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I mean, I don't think it's a great performance from the actor.

36
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But I think he is just delivering what's written, which is a very serious, very stiff man who is always on the job who never relaxes and had fun.

37
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And I don't know, does he have hobbies?

38
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I can't tell.

39
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Like, does he do anything in his spare time?

40
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Does he just sit there reading crew rosters?

41
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Like, what is there to this character?

42
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I just, I've got nothing to grab hold of at all.

43
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Like, I always say that my in into a character is humour, usually.

44
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The best characters are funny or, you know, the underdog or something like that.

45
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Something that likeable that draws you in, but there's just nothing to this guy.

46
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He's just like a, he's like a white board in an office, you know?

47
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That's why he is.

48
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Yeah, this episode explicitly asks the question, does he have any hobbies and he says no.

49
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So, you know, he has no interests or hobbies apart from work.

50
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Do you not even wank Malcolm Reed?

51
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Like, for God's sake.

52
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He does go to the bathroom, apparently.

53
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We discover that.

54
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So that's his hobby, isn't it?

55
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But the other thing is too, that there's sort of conflict between the relaxed laid back in formal command style of archer and Reed, who is much more stiff, but the trouble is that archery is a petulant shithead, who constantly yells at people and is in no way relaxed and laid back as a commanding officer.

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And, you know, you kind of think, imagine if it had been Anson Mount Pike.

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Do you know what I mean?

58
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Who is genuinely relaxed and likeable, who has people over for breakfast?

59
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Invited people over, getting them all to do the cooking for him.

60
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.

61
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You know, like I really, really think that this is the sort of thing that Pike would have worked perfectly well in and that Archer absolutely doesn't work in because there's kind of no contrast.

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And the whole thing, he isn't relaxed.

63
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He isn't chilly.

64
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He isn't likeable.

65
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That fucking breakfast at the beginning of the episode.

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I was watching that scene, right?

67
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and I was just waiting to hear what you thought. the way he goes in with, you know, oh, didn't England win the football once or something?

68
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I was going, oh, this is so boringly heterosexual. can't stand it.

69
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But it's the 2 most charmless man in Star Wars.

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You know what I mean?

71
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It's as boring as straight men possibly get.

72
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They're usually pretty boring.

73
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Sorry, to you stuff, too, pans.

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Straight men are usually fairly dull and tedious.

75
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That's why they like Star Trek these two.

76
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And like, he's literally trapping Reed in a situation he doesn't want to be in.

77
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He's not comfortable in him.

78
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And he's trying to force him to relax and he's like, sir, I am not this person.

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Leave me alone and just let me be boring, all right?

80
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And like, we're so unable to commit to this scene.

81
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We can't do this scene.

82
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Do you know what I mean?

83
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We can't do a scene where the 2 characters are kind of awkward with each other and we immediately have to, you know, have some space thing happen.

84
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And then we just leave the eggs Benedict there and it's that usual stupid TV thing of we've prepared a meal, but we're not going to make you watch the meal because we can't, you know, afford to have people eating and or anything.

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Do you know what I mean?

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You have to go and do space things.

87
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So they just...

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They've been shooting this scene for a long time.

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They don't want to touch that food.

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It's stone cold.

91
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But as well.

92
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At the end of that scene, I was like, okay, I can see what they're trying to do.

93
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This episode is about this pair trying to communicate.

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At some point in this episode, there'll be a situation of jeopardy where they're stuck together and they have to talk.

95
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Oh, it took so long to get to the point.

96
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I was like, come on, please.

97
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But when they get to the point, it's boring, like it's a really, really boring scene, it's so played, there's nothing here that they haven't done before, and we can't write a drama about the 2 of them having some conflict.

98
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We have to just have them, you know, strapped to a thing so that they can't move and just talk about their backstory.

99
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And I just longed, did you remember that scene in Picard where Rios tells his starts telling a story and then his girlfriend, you know, like causes him sudden pain or resets his arm or something and says, yeah, he cries out.

100
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She goes, yeah, great story.

101
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And that's it?

102
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Or, you know, the fabulous archeologist person, the pirate.

103
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You know, he tells the sob backstory.

104
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Oh, fake Baxter.

105
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You know, my favourite still.

106
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My favourite is still...

107
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Tell him the story about the big, ugly tree.

108
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The ugly...

109
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They've got no sense of self-awareness in this show like that, though, do they?

110
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So it's so right, and it's so boring.

111
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Like, there's really nothing to it.

112
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And the other plot which is sort of 1st contact with the Romulans.

113
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We can't do that.

114
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It's part of a huge series of episodes of enterprise where we have aliens that the audience knows about, but that the crew don't.

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And so we do have 1st contact with them, but it's not proper 1st contact because we can't spoil the 1st contact that we actually have happening later.

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So, you know, we have the 1st contact with the Romulans in is balance of terror.

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And we have the 1st contact with the Ferengi and Last Outpost, and we have the 1st contact with the Borg in Q Who, but we want to have them in Enterprise, and so we do this.

118
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And that's so important to the enterprise that even one of the ad break cliffhangers is to poll saying the word Romulan.

119
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But none of that matters.

120
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Yeah, they're the most fucking generic aliens possible.

121
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That is the trouble with early enterprise, right?

122
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Is it so fucking tentative?

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They're not willing to take any risks of any kind.

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So we're stuck with stereotypical bullshit like this week after week.

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What did we do before?

126
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Strange New World.

127
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We're going down on an alien planet.

128
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Thanks, guys.

129
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We've only done that 500 times before.

130
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I'm way more excited than this.

131
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I said to you in a message.

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I did a comparison because the last episode we did was Times Orphan. and Times Orphan had an absurd premise, yeah, an absurd science fiction premise, but it was packed to the gills with genuine sentiment and great character moments. yeah?

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This, on the other hand, has a reasonable premise, like a realistic premise, but the character work just isn't there.

134
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And so where that was an enjoyable watch, um, hung on a, you know, ridiculous Star Trek idea, this is, oh, it's so mundane.

135
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And it's so hard to get through when the characters just aren't there for you to ease gently into the drama.

136
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Oh, it's so frustrating.

137
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I mean, we've watched episodes of Star Trek series one and 2 that we've liked, or at least that I've liked, Night in Sick Bay, for example.

138
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I can't think of many.

139
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But this is really unusually bad.

140
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There's kind of nothing going on here.

141
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And I think, you know, Berman and Braga are trying to pair back the premise.

142
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I think part of the problem with Star Trek at this point is it's like you have to know a whole lot of shit before you're allowed to watch Star Trek, you know, before you can properly appreciate it.

143
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And so they say, all right, we'll go back to the beginning where no one knows any of that stuff and where we're in a different time period.

144
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So those kind of rules don't quite apply.

145
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And that's a reasonable instinct and stuff.

146
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But they just don't do anything interesting. engaging and riveting within that, though. and it just isn't there.

147
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So much so that they obviously they reboot it for series 3 and whilst that's quite exciting and I know you have issues with it, but they're being more ambitious.

148
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Again, it's not a massive success because it's rebooted again, but series 4 with a new showrunner, whose instincts are bang on.

149
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It was like, he's not doing any of this.

150
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He goes, no, we've done strange new wells.

151
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We've been strapped to bombs before and all this bullshit.

152
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Like, no, we're going to do these series of mini arcs and we're going to explore the quadrant and these races that we've got in a really interesting way.

153
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We should be doing that now at this point.

154
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Yeah.

155
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Yeah.

156
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I mean, you know, the thing is that Strangely Worlds proves that it's possible to do a Star Trek show.

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And I mean, even Star Trek, the Next Generation did that, although part of what it did is fill the quadrant in in such a way that subsequent iterations of the show had to take all of that into account.

158
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But even Star Trek, The Next Generation, can do an episode on a planet that isn't involved in sort of galactic politics or anything like that.

159
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It can just do an episode like this.

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This is something that's happening again, sort of no particular background as far as I can tell.

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And the bad thing about it too is that this is episode 3 of series 2.

162
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So episode one is Stormfront part two, so it resolves the Cliffhanger.

163
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Episode 2 is Carbon Creek, isn't it?

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with that sort of strange flashback. bit boring.

165
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So this is really their season two, episode one.

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This is them saying, here's what we're doing going forward in series 2, and what we're doing is the same boring shit that we were doing in series one.

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I mean, my big comparison with this episode was...

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Please go with me a second.

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Disaster from TNG.

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Because it's the same sort of thing.

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In disaster, it's quantum filaments or something. creating explosions.

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Here we're in a minefield.

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So we're in a situation where bombs and things could go off at any minute. disaster, they packed it full of great comedy and big over the top characters and those ridiculous children and all those things we loved.

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Here in our situation of extreme jeopardy, we get to know these 2 boring straight men.

175
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That's right.

176
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That's right.

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What has happened to Star Trek?

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Why are they unlearn lessons?

179
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See, this is the other thing as well.

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Like you're joking about straight men, but I actually think that this show is once again centring the story of Star Trek on the experience of white men.

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And so the principal relationship at the moment is trip and archer, who have a friendship.

182
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So they know one another.

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And so when Shiban gets his hands on it, he goes, well, there's another white guy whose relationship with Archer has gone underexplored and we should look at that.

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You know, you've had a show led by a woman, a show with strong women in it.

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You've had a show led by a black man and a really diverse cast.

186
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And this is sort of George W.

187
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Bushie or a Star Trek, and we're going back to basics and it's all about white men now.

188
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And it turns out that's played. you know, that's super boring.

189
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And these are boring, irritating, white man as well.

190
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Well, you've got to do it.

191
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Add another layer.

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Have something to say.

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They've got nothing to say about it.

194
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You know, so the lack of diversity just means there's a lack of colour and personality and all those things that make TV bearable.

195
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It's so stripped back this.

196
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It's so plain.

197
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Oh, what a way to start.

198
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Yeah, yeah.

199
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You've got an hour of watching the episode.

200
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I must apologise, though.

201
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I must apologise because I came into this episode with possibly my squeakiest and most excitable.

202
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Hey, and that's because we haven't recorded for 2 weeks and in no way, because I'm excited to talk about this particular episode.

203
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I just want to make that clear, okay?

204
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I think that might be clear.

205
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All right.

206
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Okay, so I will count as in.

207
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Yes, okay.

208
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Let's explore why I just like hanging out with gay people so much.

209
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Let's go.

210
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Okay.

211
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Five, four, three, two, one, and we're off.

212
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We said last week when we were sort of pressing the button.

213
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Do you remember, we were getting all those ball entitles for the Enterprise episode.

214
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That sounds quite exciting.

215
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No, we said it said, I'm really watching electric.

216
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It is quite boring, isn't it?

217
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Mindfield.

218
00:15:34.679 --> 00:15:35.519
Yeah, yeah.

219
00:15:35.580 --> 00:15:37.320
No, the most generic title possible.

220
00:15:37.379 --> 00:15:38.820
So what's this?

221
00:15:38.879 --> 00:15:40.200
This gesture here.

222
00:15:40.259 --> 00:15:52.679
I think he's supposed to be zipping his collar up because he feels he looks too informal, but the collar doesn't work or the zipper doesn't work and so he just puts his hand on his chest and we keep shooting.

223
00:15:52.740 --> 00:15:53.700
Like, that's nothing.

224
00:15:53.759 --> 00:15:55.259
He stops and does nothing.

225
00:15:55.740 --> 00:15:58.200
Oh, just, you know what?

226
00:15:58.259 --> 00:15:59.580
I would, if my boss.

227
00:15:59.639 --> 00:16:09.000
Yeah, if my boss forced me to have breakfast with him, and then chose the meal that I was going to have, and then try to make small time.

228
00:16:09.059 --> 00:16:11.340
It would just seem the most agonising experience.

229
00:16:12.240 --> 00:16:14.340
For God's sakes.

230
00:16:14.700 --> 00:16:18.360
There are a reasons why we just work with you people, all right?

231
00:16:18.419 --> 00:16:19.679
We don't want to hang out with you as well.

232
00:16:19.799 --> 00:16:20.940
Well, yes, exactly.

233
00:16:22.320 --> 00:16:26.639
That would be really hard, you know, if you worked and lived on a spaceship, wouldn't it?

234
00:16:26.700 --> 00:16:27.779
You just couldn't get away from these people.

235
00:16:27.840 --> 00:16:33.120
Well, and there is a little bit of a sort of discussion of that as well here.

236
00:16:33.179 --> 00:16:34.080
So I don't know.

237
00:16:34.139 --> 00:16:34.980
I don't know.

238
00:16:35.039 --> 00:16:38.639
You know, the very famous eggs Benedict from the chef there.

239
00:16:38.700 --> 00:16:40.320
It does look very cold.

240
00:16:40.379 --> 00:16:41.759
It looks miserable.

241
00:16:41.879 --> 00:16:42.539
Yes.

242
00:16:43.620 --> 00:16:47.100
I think the holiday sauce on the top has congealed.

243
00:16:47.159 --> 00:16:47.759
Yes.

244
00:16:47.759 --> 00:16:54.659
So this whole conversation, which you mentioned, and we have Archer calling it soccer and then Malcolm calling it football.

245
00:16:54.720 --> 00:17:06.299
And there is a one funny line that Malcolm delivers later, which is a callback to this conversation. where they're talking about football.

246
00:17:06.359 --> 00:17:10.619
But it's awkward and it's actually unpleasant, like actively unpleasant to watch.

247
00:17:10.680 --> 00:17:19.380
Um, because Archer's being a dickhead and because Malcolm is right to be kind of put off by him.

248
00:17:19.440 --> 00:17:22.140
And I think we meant to feel the other way, aren't we?

249
00:17:22.200 --> 00:17:31.799
We're meant to sympathise with Archer and think that this guy's a stick in the mud, but aren't just being so fucking obnoxious.

250
00:17:31.799 --> 00:17:33.779
I have been a manager, yeah.

251
00:17:33.839 --> 00:17:40.200
If I was in this situation and someone came in and I was inviting them into a social situation and they wanted to talk about work.

252
00:17:40.259 --> 00:17:40.920
Guess what?

253
00:17:40.980 --> 00:17:43.859
I would talk about work because that would make them comfortable.

254
00:17:43.920 --> 00:17:46.440
Instead, he goes, no, don't talk about work.

255
00:17:46.500 --> 00:17:48.059
Come on, didn't your mother ever tell you?

256
00:17:48.119 --> 00:17:49.680
Don't take homework to the table.

257
00:17:49.740 --> 00:17:50.819
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

258
00:17:50.880 --> 00:17:51.720
That's who I am.

259
00:17:51.779 --> 00:17:54.000
If I want to sit here and talk about work, that's what I'll do.

260
00:17:54.059 --> 00:17:56.400
He's he's a bad leader.

261
00:17:56.460 --> 00:17:57.839
That's what I'm saying.

262
00:17:57.900 --> 00:18:02.640
So this super awkward thing about the door, like who goes out the door 1st as well?

263
00:18:02.700 --> 00:18:11.400
Look, they both go to leave really quickly, and Archer, you know, the after you, like the whole thing is just toe curlingly awkward.

264
00:18:12.180 --> 00:18:16.259
And then by the end of the episode, is it, it's not really very good.

265
00:18:16.259 --> 00:18:18.660
Yeah, because nothing's changed, really, isn't it?

266
00:18:18.720 --> 00:18:19.920
There's nothing to it.

267
00:18:19.980 --> 00:18:24.599
There's one, you know, there's a moment where Malcolm relaxes.

268
00:18:24.660 --> 00:18:34.259
And I think, you know, with a nothing character like this, it really just has to be down to the performance of the actor, did you see that, that, what was on the screen there?

269
00:18:34.319 --> 00:18:36.059
It was from the bloody title sequence.

270
00:18:36.119 --> 00:18:37.140
Did you say it?

271
00:18:37.140 --> 00:18:38.160
No, it wasn't.

272
00:18:38.220 --> 00:18:41.279
It was the special effect from the title sequence.

273
00:18:41.339 --> 00:18:43.799
I swear to God, you know where Enterprise is on the planet?

274
00:18:43.859 --> 00:18:44.460
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

275
00:18:44.460 --> 00:18:45.180
At the top of the screen?

276
00:18:45.299 --> 00:18:50.339
Oh, it just looks like... season 2 episode one's got no budget at all.

277
00:18:50.400 --> 00:18:51.839
Oh, no, it does.

278
00:18:52.380 --> 00:18:53.160
There's your budget.

279
00:18:53.220 --> 00:18:54.359
That's a great shot.

280
00:18:54.420 --> 00:18:56.400
That is a good shot, isn't it?

281
00:18:56.460 --> 00:18:57.180
it's really good.

282
00:18:57.240 --> 00:19:01.500
I do love it when you can see inside the decks. from the outside of the ship.

283
00:19:01.559 --> 00:19:02.940
I don't do it very often.

284
00:19:03.000 --> 00:19:04.079
Voyager did it a couple of times.

285
00:19:04.140 --> 00:19:05.519
Okay, look at the planet.

286
00:19:05.579 --> 00:19:06.779
See, it's a different planet.

287
00:19:06.839 --> 00:19:07.859
It's not the same planet.

288
00:19:08.339 --> 00:19:10.079
Oh, my God.

289
00:19:10.079 --> 00:19:14.519
Getting from there to here. flying over the sea.

290
00:19:15.180 --> 00:19:19.079
Now my time is finally here.

291
00:19:19.140 --> 00:19:24.480
The HMS and the pro, sorry, please.

292
00:19:24.480 --> 00:19:25.440
With Zed.

293
00:19:26.339 --> 00:19:29.519
All of these amazing achievements of humanity.

294
00:19:29.579 --> 00:19:31.259
Yeah, mostly men.

295
00:19:31.319 --> 00:19:33.000
This is the achievement of men episode.

296
00:19:33.059 --> 00:19:34.079
It is.

297
00:19:34.079 --> 00:19:34.680
It is.

298
00:19:34.740 --> 00:19:37.019
It's appropriate for the show.

299
00:19:37.079 --> 00:19:38.039
Great man of history.

300
00:19:38.099 --> 00:19:39.539
Yeah, that's right.

301
00:19:39.599 --> 00:19:46.380
I do, I do love the fact that they've, they've put all these, you know, huge, and they are, even if they are achievements of men.

302
00:19:46.440 --> 00:19:47.759
They are achievements, all the same.

303
00:19:47.819 --> 00:19:52.559
And then at the end of it, they seem to suggest that the greatest achievement is Star Trek Enterprise.

304
00:19:54.359 --> 00:19:55.980
Do you know?

305
00:19:55.980 --> 00:20:01.079
There is a thing that I do like about this, though, because...

306
00:20:01.140 --> 00:20:03.960
Well, no, I mean, the song's terrible, but I like it anyway.

307
00:20:04.859 --> 00:20:11.640
Something about space, you know, Star Trek isn't enough about space and Star Trek the Next Generation wasn't about space at all.

308
00:20:11.700 --> 00:20:14.519
And this makes an attempt to be about space.

309
00:20:14.519 --> 00:20:15.839
And I kind of...

310
00:20:15.839 --> 00:20:19.859
Well, how tough it is getting out there and adjusting to it and all that.

311
00:20:19.920 --> 00:20:21.240
Oh, yeah.

312
00:20:21.299 --> 00:20:23.579
It's kind of boring though, isn't it?

313
00:20:23.640 --> 00:20:24.599
But it's something.

314
00:20:24.660 --> 00:20:25.440
Do you know what I mean?

315
00:20:25.500 --> 00:20:30.299
And like, oh, I wish they do more absurd Star Trek premises on this show, you know?

316
00:20:30.359 --> 00:20:32.279
Stop turning them into mutants and things.

317
00:20:32.339 --> 00:20:33.359
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

318
00:20:33.420 --> 00:20:38.880
So this is also the debut of the new uniforms.

319
00:20:38.880 --> 00:20:45.180
And the new uniforms are the same as the old uniforms, only slightly lighter blue.

320
00:20:45.240 --> 00:20:48.599
Now, not everyone's wearing them, but our principals are.

321
00:20:48.720 --> 00:20:50.160
Are you for real?

322
00:20:50.220 --> 00:20:50.819
Yeah.

323
00:20:50.819 --> 00:20:56.039
So they didn't debut in episode one because that was part 2 of Stormfront.

324
00:20:56.099 --> 00:20:57.599
Then we had a flashback.

325
00:20:57.660 --> 00:21:03.359
And so now they're wearing the slightly lighter blue uniforms because they're wearing much...

326
00:21:03.359 --> 00:21:06.119
So, guys in the back...

327
00:21:06.180 --> 00:21:14.880
You know, it's like with Star Trek, the Next Generation where they introduced the new uniforms in series three, but all the background artists were still wearing the old ones.

328
00:21:15.000 --> 00:21:16.140
So it's the same one here.

329
00:21:16.200 --> 00:21:17.579
Everyone in the...

330
00:21:17.640 --> 00:21:21.539
Those uniforms you could really see that they were more comfortable in them.

331
00:21:21.660 --> 00:21:22.200
Yeah, yeah.

332
00:21:22.259 --> 00:21:23.940
There was a tangible difference.

333
00:21:24.000 --> 00:21:25.980
If you hadn't have told me, I wouldn't know.

334
00:21:26.039 --> 00:21:26.880
No, no.

335
00:21:26.940 --> 00:21:39.119
But I think the difference, the only difference is they're slightly lighter in colour, which is a good call because this is a sort of fairly visually dull show on the whole, although he's Dr. Flux in a fabulous 70s.

336
00:21:39.240 --> 00:21:42.599
I like going to Dr. Flux's sick bait, you know. quite light, isn't it?

337
00:21:42.660 --> 00:21:43.740
Yeah, yeah.

338
00:21:43.799 --> 00:21:45.180
And I quite like that set, actually.

339
00:21:45.240 --> 00:21:46.140
Do you know what I mean?

340
00:21:46.200 --> 00:21:50.460
Like there's, it looks a bit more real than a normal Star Trek said.

341
00:21:50.519 --> 00:21:52.799
They're bringing in someone pretty concerned.

342
00:21:52.799 --> 00:21:54.119
The red dwarf joke, couldn't they?

343
00:21:54.180 --> 00:21:55.140
The gun metal gray.

344
00:21:55.140 --> 00:21:56.220
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

345
00:21:56.220 --> 00:21:57.720
Military gray and ocean gray.

346
00:21:57.779 --> 00:22:00.420
You're not wearing the right blue tip beautiful.

347
00:22:00.480 --> 00:22:01.380
That's right.

348
00:22:01.440 --> 00:22:03.900
That's right It's just a shade off.

349
00:22:04.440 --> 00:22:07.259
So we've wandered into a minefield.

350
00:22:07.319 --> 00:22:14.099
So this is basically your staple of any old war movie, you know, we're doing sort of macho storytelling.

351
00:22:14.160 --> 00:22:15.299
We're in a minefield.

352
00:22:15.420 --> 00:22:16.619
We've got bombs to diffuse.

353
00:22:16.680 --> 00:22:24.660
And what's unusual here is the music is kind of going for it in this scene generally, but I just think there's no pace here at all.

354
00:22:24.720 --> 00:22:30.420
Like, I'm the only person who's giving it any kind of urgency is Connor.

355
00:22:30.539 --> 00:22:39.180
Like when we call into the, um, when we call into engineering and he's shouting and stuff like that and he's making it seem like there's some...

356
00:22:39.180 --> 00:22:41.339
Flames everywhere or there's a bit of...

357
00:22:41.400 --> 00:22:46.019
Everyone else, look at them all standing around, like there's no, they're not just fucking reacting to anything.

358
00:22:46.079 --> 00:22:48.539
Jolene, Blaylock's like, I can't be arse with this.

359
00:22:48.599 --> 00:22:55.619
So she actually does a really good line delivery in this scene, which I thought...

360
00:22:55.680 --> 00:23:05.039
Yeah, yeah, but like it's an absolutely nothing, uh, like, you know, functional bit of dialogue that she gives a little character moment to.

361
00:23:05.099 --> 00:23:07.319
And I just thought, oh, good for you.

362
00:23:07.380 --> 00:23:10.500
You're actually trying here unlike just about anyone else.

363
00:23:10.680 --> 00:23:13.740
You know what this episode needed, right?

364
00:23:13.799 --> 00:23:17.700
It needed to poll to do the thing that 7 of 9 used to do all the time.

365
00:23:17.759 --> 00:23:20.279
And that is just cut straight to the point. yeah?

366
00:23:20.339 --> 00:23:22.140
We always love that about 7 of nine.

367
00:23:22.200 --> 00:23:25.799
We needed her to say to read an archer, you know, in the climax.

368
00:23:25.859 --> 00:23:27.420
Oh, well, you 2 just talk already.

369
00:23:27.480 --> 00:23:34.200
For God's sake, just kiss. come on Oh, that would be the most hideous kiss, though, wouldn't he?

370
00:23:34.259 --> 00:23:36.539
There was some CGI going on here.

371
00:23:37.200 --> 00:23:37.920
Instrument coming out?

372
00:23:37.980 --> 00:23:39.960
This is...

373
00:23:40.079 --> 00:23:41.880
Look, there. is from the title sequence.

374
00:23:41.940 --> 00:23:42.960
Oh, yeah.

375
00:23:42.960 --> 00:23:43.440
You see that?

376
00:23:44.099 --> 00:23:45.180
I don't know.

377
00:23:45.240 --> 00:23:46.200
I'm not that convinced.

378
00:23:46.259 --> 00:23:50.039
It can't be that expensive to do a new planet, for God's sake.

379
00:23:50.160 --> 00:23:58.680
Um, so it's that that line there where she says it's not going to work because it was designed to detect solaban technology.

380
00:23:58.740 --> 00:24:11.579
And then she catches herself and goes, actually, that's a bit pissy and unhelpful, and then she says, I'll try changing the phase variance, but you can actually see her thinking as if she's just thought of the 2nd half of that line.

381
00:24:11.640 --> 00:24:16.619
And I know I'm clutching at straws, but it does just...

382
00:24:16.680 --> 00:24:18.420
I'm going to try and get this scene something.

383
00:24:18.539 --> 00:24:20.039
Yeah, I'm going to try and give it something.

384
00:24:20.099 --> 00:24:23.400
And so she manages to eke a little character moment out of it.

385
00:24:23.460 --> 00:24:25.019
But there's nothing for her either.

386
00:24:25.079 --> 00:24:26.460
All the time.

387
00:24:26.460 --> 00:24:32.039
I am going to contradict somebody you just said there because you know that whole thing you said about sort of going into space.

388
00:24:32.099 --> 00:24:36.599
I just watched over 30 seconds, him putting a spacesuit on.

389
00:24:36.660 --> 00:24:38.460
Yeah, and I get it.

390
00:24:38.519 --> 00:24:42.299
I get, you need to put a space fit on to go outside the ship, but fuck me.

391
00:24:42.359 --> 00:24:47.279
We did an episode recently, Npok Law, where they were just in the spacesuit straight away, straight to the horror and the drama.

392
00:24:47.339 --> 00:24:47.819
Yeah.

393
00:24:47.819 --> 00:24:49.980
So here, I think too.

394
00:24:50.039 --> 00:24:58.500
The fact that when they're outside and they're trying to play it for some reason as if we're in low gravity, even though we're on the fucking surface of the ship.

395
00:24:58.619 --> 00:24:59.579
Do you know what I mean?

396
00:24:59.640 --> 00:25:01.079
We can have whatever gravity we want.

397
00:25:01.140 --> 00:25:09.180
But we've decided it's low gravity and we're in, and so the line, like the, everything is glacially slow. like they move slow.

398
00:25:09.240 --> 00:25:14.700
Oh, there's there's little robot read, advancing towards the generated thing.

399
00:25:14.759 --> 00:25:16.680
I do want to say, though.

400
00:25:16.740 --> 00:25:22.079
Like we watched 1st contact recently, which had a similar sequence on the exterior of the Enterprise.

401
00:25:22.079 --> 00:25:28.140
And given the budget differential, I don't think they did too badly here.

402
00:25:28.319 --> 00:25:29.640
On the whole, you know?

403
00:25:29.700 --> 00:25:31.200
Yeah, I think there's some good shots.

404
00:25:31.259 --> 00:25:44.220
Like, I think there's some good shots, but part of the problem is that when the 2 of them are out here, the scene is played so slow in order to just reinforce that we're in space.

405
00:25:44.279 --> 00:25:47.579
We have to talk very slowly to each other.

406
00:25:47.640 --> 00:25:49.980
We have to wait in between our speeches.

407
00:25:50.039 --> 00:25:52.559
Everything is just deadly dull.

408
00:25:53.220 --> 00:25:55.740
Can I confess something to you?

409
00:25:55.799 --> 00:26:02.640
Right, so I put this episode on and sort of somewhere in the 1st 10 minutes, a food delivery order came right.

410
00:26:02.700 --> 00:26:08.099
I was so lazy, I couldn't have been be asked to go to the shops and it was crisp and sweets and all sorts, you know, snacky food.

411
00:26:08.099 --> 00:26:12.539
And I was just going to have some crisps, but I was just so bored watching this.

412
00:26:12.599 --> 00:26:16.259
By the time I got to the end of the episode, that entire food order had gone.

413
00:26:16.319 --> 00:26:18.599
I'd eat an order, Chris, all the sweets.

414
00:26:18.660 --> 00:26:22.380
I was like, something's got to make this endurable, this slow episode.

415
00:26:22.859 --> 00:26:25.440
Enterprise is making me fat.

416
00:26:28.500 --> 00:26:32.099
Why don't we just attach the whole plate thing, let it drift away?

417
00:26:32.160 --> 00:26:33.240
Oh, that's what they do, isn't it?

418
00:26:33.299 --> 00:26:33.779
At the end?

419
00:26:33.839 --> 00:26:34.740
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

420
00:26:34.799 --> 00:26:35.579
But that's the whole thing.

421
00:26:35.640 --> 00:26:49.140
So we'll get there because that's the, you know, there's a big command decision that Archer has to make and we're given no insight into why he chooses to make the decision that he makes and none of it makes any sense.

422
00:26:49.200 --> 00:26:50.220
But that's kind of the thing.

423
00:26:50.279 --> 00:26:51.660
We have these 2 alternatives.

424
00:26:51.720 --> 00:26:58.319
We let Malcolm defuse the bomb or we just let it drift into Spain and both of them are kind of possible.

425
00:26:58.680 --> 00:27:04.500
One of my favourite TV shows when I was a nipper was Quantum League, right?

426
00:27:04.559 --> 00:27:05.700
I just...

427
00:27:05.759 --> 00:27:10.619
I loved I loved the sort of Doctor Who-ish premise of being able to go in all those different time zones.

428
00:27:10.680 --> 00:27:24.059
And one of the big parts of the reason I love that was Scott Baxter, who just adjusted to the tone of every episode so well and was just so effortlessly likeable throughout the entire run.

429
00:27:24.119 --> 00:27:27.660
Whether the episode was good or bad, you wanted to hang out with Sam Beckett, right?

430
00:27:27.720 --> 00:27:28.259
Yeah, yeah.

431
00:27:28.319 --> 00:27:29.099
What happened?

432
00:27:29.220 --> 00:27:30.480
I don't know. don't know.

433
00:27:30.539 --> 00:27:32.279
How did they make him this boring?

434
00:27:32.339 --> 00:27:32.940
Boring, yeah.

435
00:27:33.000 --> 00:27:53.460
So we've just seen our 1st Romulan ship and I thought that it was actually pretty good because I think it looks like something that might have been designed in the TOS era, but it's got a kind of modern sensibility it's able to have sort of curved, you know, curved lines and stuff like that.

436
00:27:53.519 --> 00:27:56.819
It looks a bit paired back, but I actually think it's quite a good design.

437
00:27:56.880 --> 00:27:58.559
So that's.

438
00:27:58.619 --> 00:28:05.339
Did you see the graphs on the wall behind Tapole there when she was, it looked like she was editing a podcast while was going on?

439
00:28:05.400 --> 00:28:06.420
Did you see?

440
00:28:06.480 --> 00:28:07.259
She was.

441
00:28:07.740 --> 00:28:09.839
So I like this.

442
00:28:09.900 --> 00:28:19.500
This is the other bit that I like where Hoshi just gets up and says, tell them I'm on my way and she like, it's so rare for her to get anything like that.

443
00:28:19.680 --> 00:28:21.839
Yeah, yeah, a line.

444
00:28:21.900 --> 00:28:23.220
And I thought that was really great.

445
00:28:23.279 --> 00:28:24.779
Like, she just says, oh, fuck it.

446
00:28:24.839 --> 00:28:25.680
Tell her I'm on.

447
00:28:25.740 --> 00:28:28.859
And that's a good line for her and a good kind of character moment for her.

448
00:28:28.920 --> 00:28:29.940
But that's all she gets.

449
00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:32.220
And then it's just back to now...

450
00:28:32.220 --> 00:28:34.559
I like to imagine Linda Park had a highlight, all right?

451
00:28:34.619 --> 00:28:41.099
Every time she got a line. she'd highlight the script, but she never had to get a 2nd pen in the whole 4 seasons.

452
00:28:42.000 --> 00:28:46.319
She could have shared a pen with her with that.

453
00:28:47.039 --> 00:28:48.539
Travis.

454
00:28:48.599 --> 00:28:49.980
You want to borrow the fence?

455
00:28:50.039 --> 00:28:51.480
How many lines you got this week?

456
00:28:51.539 --> 00:28:52.859
Oh, no.

457
00:28:52.920 --> 00:28:54.720
I'm just doing reaction shots this week.

458
00:28:54.779 --> 00:28:55.259
Don't worry.

459
00:28:55.319 --> 00:28:55.920
Keep it.

460
00:28:55.980 --> 00:28:56.700
Save the ink.

461
00:28:56.759 --> 00:28:59.700
Travis does get more lines than usual this week.

462
00:28:59.759 --> 00:29:02.460
But again, there's a kind of...

463
00:29:02.460 --> 00:29:08.579
Because he gets to say things because we're mostly on the bridge and talking about going places and stuff.

464
00:29:08.640 --> 00:29:11.220
Um, so, yeah.

465
00:29:11.279 --> 00:29:12.240
He's so pretty.

466
00:29:12.539 --> 00:29:16.380
Travis, I'd give him... make him the lead of every episode.

467
00:29:16.440 --> 00:29:21.119
Remember the end of the episode when we were in the alternative universe and he was in bed with Linda Park.

468
00:29:21.180 --> 00:29:21.539
Do you remember?

469
00:29:21.599 --> 00:29:22.440
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

470
00:29:22.500 --> 00:29:24.000
Oh, man, it was so hot.

471
00:29:24.059 --> 00:29:24.480
Yeah.

472
00:29:24.480 --> 00:29:27.299
And when they do give him lines, he's good.

473
00:29:27.420 --> 00:29:28.440
I think he's good.

474
00:29:28.440 --> 00:29:30.299
Why don't they realise what they've got?

475
00:29:30.359 --> 00:29:48.599
This is another thing, too, that because all of the computer stuff is, is, all of the space stuff is computer generated, it's not real models, they've kind of decided that they can actually, you know, make them look staticky and stuff are not real as if they're cloaked, which is something that we probably wouldn't have thought of doing before.

476
00:29:48.660 --> 00:29:49.920
So that's something.

477
00:29:49.980 --> 00:29:50.759
Do you know what I mean?

478
00:29:50.819 --> 00:29:52.259
Like, I think that shot's kind of okay.

479
00:29:52.319 --> 00:30:01.019
I mean, Nathan, at the moment, yeah, there's a Romulan ship just there, and they are literally going through traversing a minefield in the extreme danger.

480
00:30:01.079 --> 00:30:03.960
There's a bomb literally stuck to the outside of enterprise.

481
00:30:04.019 --> 00:30:05.940
Travis has sweat all over his brow.

482
00:30:06.000 --> 00:30:07.680
Why is this so boring?

483
00:30:07.740 --> 00:30:11.579
Yeah, in fact, it's almost like it should be so exciting.

484
00:30:11.579 --> 00:30:19.140
It's almost like they put the sweat on Travis's brow so that we would know that it was a tense situation because there's literally nothing else.

485
00:30:19.259 --> 00:30:21.900
You know, like nothing else at all.

486
00:30:21.960 --> 00:30:24.119
It's so limp, isn't it?

487
00:30:24.180 --> 00:30:24.660
It's amazing.

488
00:30:24.779 --> 00:30:26.640
Something's not working out here.

489
00:30:26.700 --> 00:30:28.859
Quick, get the water bottle on, Anthony Montgomery.

490
00:30:28.980 --> 00:30:30.240
Squirt, squirt, squirt.

491
00:30:30.299 --> 00:30:31.559
Squirt Anthony's forehead.

492
00:30:31.920 --> 00:30:33.839
I think you are right.

493
00:30:33.900 --> 00:30:35.339
I think he probably is the pacing though.

494
00:30:35.400 --> 00:30:36.359
Yeah, it is.

495
00:30:36.420 --> 00:30:38.640
The pacing is really bad, isn't it?

496
00:30:38.700 --> 00:30:44.339
So, this guy does 5 episodes of Enterprise, James Conner.

497
00:30:44.400 --> 00:30:46.380
I don't know anything else about him.

498
00:30:46.500 --> 00:30:48.299
I could tell you something about him.

499
00:30:48.359 --> 00:30:55.799
James Compner is a director of some fantastic episodes of Buffy the Vampires.

500
00:30:55.859 --> 00:30:56.160
Oh, wow.

501
00:30:56.220 --> 00:31:01.740
So you've got a Buffy director and an X-Files writer bringing this bullshit to life.

502
00:31:01.859 --> 00:31:16.799
So we've now got the big new thing that we've done in this episode, which is that Malcolm has a big spike through his leg. sticking him to the hospital. did make you win...

503
00:31:16.859 --> 00:31:20.039
Yeah, and it does, like, and there's some computer generated blood.

504
00:31:20.160 --> 00:31:32.400
And then, you know, like, um, you know, that, you know, you get the corking gun, you know, like it seals automatically around the wound. like there's this sort of staff.

505
00:31:32.460 --> 00:31:48.660
And so, so what ends up happening is that should be tense because he's horribly injured, but it's not because they just give him a shot of anaesthetic and basically all that is happening is, is, he's immobilised.

506
00:31:48.720 --> 00:31:52.380
And so no tension is caused by the fact that he's been seriously injured.

507
00:31:52.440 --> 00:31:53.700
We just neutralise that.

508
00:31:53.759 --> 00:32:00.599
And so again, every time that it comes time to do something, they take the most boring option.

509
00:32:00.660 --> 00:32:05.160
So aren't just about to say that it hasn't hit the bone, so it doesn't matter.

510
00:32:05.220 --> 00:32:06.480
Do you know what I mean?

511
00:32:06.539 --> 00:32:09.480
And like, like he never exhibits any pain.

512
00:32:09.539 --> 00:32:19.200
Um, he does a little bit of a sort of gag about a very limp shitty gag about the drugs and then it's never mentioned again.

513
00:32:19.259 --> 00:32:21.299
Do you remember?

514
00:32:21.359 --> 00:32:27.839
Yeah, the Buffy the Vampire episode at the end of series 4 where they're all having the strange dreams about the cheese man.

515
00:32:27.900 --> 00:32:28.740
Yeah, yeah.

516
00:32:28.799 --> 00:32:31.559
James A. Continent directed it that episode.

517
00:32:31.619 --> 00:32:35.400
He also did 2 of the Dark Willow episodes in series six.

518
00:32:35.460 --> 00:32:36.839
This man can direct.

519
00:32:36.839 --> 00:32:37.799
What went wrong?

520
00:32:37.859 --> 00:32:40.440
Yeah, I don't know. don't know.

521
00:32:40.500 --> 00:32:43.079
Maybe maybe he just went, oh, the scripture.

522
00:32:43.140 --> 00:32:44.099
It's not worth my talent.

523
00:32:44.160 --> 00:32:46.920
Yeah, because this is a functional job.

524
00:32:46.980 --> 00:32:47.700
Yeah, yeah.

525
00:32:47.759 --> 00:32:48.420
Yeah.

526
00:32:48.480 --> 00:32:49.500
Oh, God.

527
00:32:49.559 --> 00:32:52.019
So the Star Trek people have forgotten how to write.

528
00:32:52.079 --> 00:32:55.079
The Buffy directors have forgotten how to direct. direct.

529
00:32:55.140 --> 00:32:57.779
No one's really bothering to act, are they?

530
00:32:57.839 --> 00:33:10.859
Yeah, so we can give him anaesthetic through the, through the, you know, vacuum sealed space suit, which is good.

531
00:33:10.920 --> 00:33:11.700
That's a good trick.

532
00:33:11.759 --> 00:33:13.259
I mean, I don't care. like whatever.

533
00:33:13.319 --> 00:33:15.359
You really are clutching at straws now.

534
00:33:15.720 --> 00:33:19.559
But I mean, this whole conversation is all stuff that we've already heard.

535
00:33:19.680 --> 00:33:22.799
We know about trips planned to let the thing go.

536
00:33:22.859 --> 00:33:23.700
You know.

537
00:33:23.759 --> 00:33:24.960
I don't know.

538
00:33:25.019 --> 00:33:27.119
It's so functional though, isn't it?

539
00:33:27.180 --> 00:33:29.640
All of it is so okay, we're going to try this.

540
00:33:29.700 --> 00:33:30.299
We're going to do that.

541
00:33:30.359 --> 00:33:31.019
We going to try this.

542
00:33:31.079 --> 00:33:33.839
Like, there's nothing imaginative about it.

543
00:33:33.960 --> 00:33:35.519
There's nothing creative about any of it.

544
00:33:35.579 --> 00:33:42.119
It's like we're going to go through all of the motions that we can possibly go through to get you out of this bomb and this bomb away from the ship.

545
00:33:42.180 --> 00:33:44.099
And so he gets...

546
00:33:44.099 --> 00:33:48.299
And then at the end of the episode, the bomb gets away from the ship and...

547
00:33:48.359 --> 00:33:48.960
Yeah.

548
00:33:49.019 --> 00:33:54.900
So he gets the drug, shot of the drug, and he goes, please, sir, can I have some more in a sort of cockney accent?

549
00:33:54.960 --> 00:34:10.139
you know, as if he's Oliver Twist, and that's supposed to be funny, and he smiles, and that's kind of, you know, like, he's British, Nathan. and so Oliver Twist and football are the only 2 things that are defined. that we have.

550
00:34:10.199 --> 00:34:12.780
He should have said something at the startlight.

551
00:34:12.840 --> 00:34:13.800
You ever watch Doctor Who?

552
00:34:13.860 --> 00:34:16.500
I believe that ran for 60 years or so.

553
00:34:16.559 --> 00:34:18.059
Have you ever eaten a black pudding?

554
00:34:18.119 --> 00:34:19.619
Do you know what kid there are?

555
00:34:19.679 --> 00:34:22.079
Have you had pudding yesterday?

556
00:34:22.079 --> 00:34:22.920
Toad in the hole.

557
00:34:22.980 --> 00:34:23.760
Holy crap.

558
00:34:23.820 --> 00:34:25.019
Um...

559
00:34:25.019 --> 00:34:31.079
How many well cliches are there about the British?

560
00:34:31.619 --> 00:34:34.380
I want to know what you people say about us.

561
00:34:34.500 --> 00:34:35.340
Oh my god.

562
00:34:35.460 --> 00:34:36.719
Well, that's quite a nice shot there.

563
00:34:36.780 --> 00:34:38.579
It's putting away from the Enterprise.

564
00:34:38.639 --> 00:34:39.719
That was awesome.

565
00:34:39.780 --> 00:34:42.239
Yeah, like some of the effect shots are quite tasty.

566
00:34:42.300 --> 00:34:45.960
But it doesn't matter a jot if the writing isn't there.

567
00:34:46.019 --> 00:34:49.139
You can put as many pretty images as you like on the screen.

568
00:34:49.199 --> 00:34:51.659
Well, no, I mean, I think pretty images matter.

569
00:34:51.719 --> 00:34:52.619
Like it's television.

570
00:34:52.679 --> 00:34:55.199
Let's do pretty images, but yes, I'm bored.

571
00:34:55.260 --> 00:34:56.039
Do you know what I mean?

572
00:34:56.099 --> 00:34:57.000
Like I'm super bored.

573
00:34:57.360 --> 00:35:00.179
I mean, if you went on a date, right?

574
00:35:00.239 --> 00:35:02.159
Yeah, with somebody who was very pretty, yeah.

575
00:35:02.219 --> 00:35:04.860
Well, I'll just say, you know, imagine someone really pretty right now.

576
00:35:04.920 --> 00:35:12.480
They were utterly charmless, you know, and serious with a bug up their butt, and, you know, nothing creative or fun about them at all.

577
00:35:12.539 --> 00:35:14.820
Would you last to the end of the date?

578
00:35:14.880 --> 00:35:17.699
I know, are they going to put out afterwards?

579
00:35:17.760 --> 00:35:19.440
Oh, I doubt it.

580
00:35:19.500 --> 00:35:21.179
Not if it's Malcolm Reed.

581
00:35:21.239 --> 00:35:24.719
No. don't think he knows how.

582
00:35:24.840 --> 00:35:28.139
There was some talk about him being gay, wasn't there?

583
00:35:28.199 --> 00:35:31.800
Or some discussion about whether they were going to make him gay or was that just...

584
00:35:31.860 --> 00:35:34.980
That boring man, the one gay character in Enterprise.

585
00:35:35.039 --> 00:35:38.340
Make it, make it, Anthony Montgomery.

586
00:35:38.400 --> 00:35:39.480
Yeah, yeah, that would have been great.

587
00:35:39.539 --> 00:35:40.980
That would have made sense.

588
00:35:41.039 --> 00:35:42.239
He would have seen some action.

589
00:35:42.300 --> 00:35:54.480
We did have the, we just missed the incredibly boring, the Romulans cliffhanger, which is super boring for everyone concerned because no one apart from us.

590
00:35:54.539 --> 00:36:10.380
And again, if we're pairing back, if we're pairing back the law, if we're making it so that you don't have to be a mastermind contendant to watch this stupid show, then why is these are the Romulans, like the thing that we go to the ad break on?

591
00:36:10.440 --> 00:36:12.480
You know, like that's super boring.

592
00:36:12.539 --> 00:36:15.900
What's a limper word than cliffhanger?

593
00:36:15.960 --> 00:36:17.159
Because I think that's too extreme.

594
00:36:17.340 --> 00:36:21.480
The choice I... a precipice... a precipice drooper.

595
00:36:21.539 --> 00:36:22.559
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

596
00:36:22.619 --> 00:36:23.280
It's just the ad.

597
00:36:23.280 --> 00:36:29.280
Ads, you know, we're going out to the ad break on this very boring thing. that's right.

598
00:36:29.340 --> 00:36:30.900
Oh, no, this.

599
00:36:30.900 --> 00:36:31.800
Jesus Christ.

600
00:36:31.860 --> 00:36:35.340
The most exciting thing this episode could possibly do is blow the pair of them up.

601
00:36:35.400 --> 00:36:37.320
Yeah, that would have surprised me.

602
00:36:37.380 --> 00:36:48.059
Well, I wonder whether, you know, like, think about when Kess leaves Voyager.

603
00:36:48.119 --> 00:36:51.900
Um, she leaves in sort of episode 2, doesn't she?

604
00:36:51.960 --> 00:36:53.760
Like at the end of episode two.

605
00:36:53.820 --> 00:36:59.400
So like if, if, um, poor old, it's Dominic Keating, isn't it?

606
00:36:59.460 --> 00:37:00.239
Is that his name?

607
00:37:00.300 --> 00:37:01.440
No, that's his name.

608
00:37:01.500 --> 00:37:07.380
If he had sort of said, fuck this, I'm not going to get any acting opportunities here, I'm going, home.

609
00:37:07.440 --> 00:37:10.559
This would be the episode where you do it.

610
00:37:10.619 --> 00:37:11.519
Do you know what I mean?

611
00:37:11.639 --> 00:37:16.619
Because it's the 1st regular episode of the 2nd season and they haven't killed him off in the finale.

612
00:37:16.920 --> 00:37:22.500
I'll just be complaining what a boring way to go in such a dull episode, you know?

613
00:37:22.559 --> 00:37:23.880
I'd still be complaining.

614
00:37:23.940 --> 00:37:29.579
But it does kind of work in that we have the captain's attempt to reach out to him.

615
00:37:29.639 --> 00:37:31.800
We centre on him in a way that we haven't before.

616
00:37:31.860 --> 00:37:41.820
We have that awkward breakfast, then he tells the story of that just interminable fucking story. about his uncle who is scared of drowning.

617
00:37:41.880 --> 00:37:44.159
Imagine just being scared of drowning.

618
00:37:44.219 --> 00:37:55.739
Most people are comfortable with the idea of drowning, but this, this pussy is scared of drowning, like, like...

619
00:37:55.739 --> 00:37:59.579
I generally jump into the sea, you know, just hold my breath and have a great time.

620
00:37:59.639 --> 00:38:01.079
We've all done it.

621
00:38:01.139 --> 00:38:06.360
So this guy scared of drowning, and then he drowns to save the ship, and then, you know, Malcolm is going to do the same thing.

622
00:38:06.420 --> 00:38:15.480
And there is a great moment, which I think is actually pretty good, where Malcolm just pulls the thing out of his suit and says, fuck this, I'm going to make the decision for you.

623
00:38:15.539 --> 00:38:16.980
You're making a dumb decision.

624
00:38:17.039 --> 00:38:18.059
I'm going to make the decision.

625
00:38:18.119 --> 00:38:24.719
But no, they still should have put hung a lantern on and go, well, I can't bear this boring conversation anymore.

626
00:38:24.780 --> 00:38:26.880
I just pulled it out.

627
00:38:28.559 --> 00:38:31.500
We can't have any more cliches.

628
00:38:31.559 --> 00:38:32.099
I'm sorry.

629
00:38:32.159 --> 00:38:32.880
It's got to end.

630
00:38:32.940 --> 00:38:41.519
And now he's explaining to us how he felt in that 1st scene where he was having breakfast with the captain.

631
00:38:41.579 --> 00:38:44.099
It's just like, it was visible, Malcolm Rees.

632
00:38:44.159 --> 00:38:45.059
We watched that scene.

633
00:38:45.119 --> 00:38:51.000
We don't need you to tell us how you felt because that was what the acting in that scene was for.

634
00:38:51.059 --> 00:38:52.920
Why are you telling us?

635
00:38:52.920 --> 00:38:55.619
were collectively clenched during that scene.

636
00:38:55.679 --> 00:38:56.940
Okay.

637
00:38:56.940 --> 00:39:00.239
And should I all of this stuff pulling out the rods?

638
00:39:00.300 --> 00:39:04.079
It's just so, there's just no imagination in this.

639
00:39:04.139 --> 00:39:06.360
Sorry, but it's Star Trek.

640
00:39:06.420 --> 00:39:07.679
One of my favourite scenes.

641
00:39:07.800 --> 00:39:10.440
No, no, no, Bob, you, no, standard stuff.

642
00:39:10.500 --> 00:39:11.639
Yes, but we've done this.

643
00:39:11.699 --> 00:39:12.360
Exactly.

644
00:39:12.360 --> 00:39:13.260
So many times.

645
00:39:13.260 --> 00:39:17.400
But they think this is new just because it's new characters doing it.

646
00:39:17.460 --> 00:39:18.960
And it's really long.

647
00:39:19.079 --> 00:39:22.139
Like, it's the absolute focus of the episode.

648
00:39:22.199 --> 00:39:28.980
And so the one that I think, which is really great. where we do this because we do this all the fucking time in Star Trek.

649
00:39:29.039 --> 00:39:35.159
We alternate between, you know, pass me the hyper spanner and you know, talking about our wife or like whatever.

650
00:39:35.219 --> 00:39:44.400
And there's that one moment in the outcast where Soren turns to Riker during this scene and says, tell me about your sexual organs.

651
00:39:44.519 --> 00:39:49.800
Which, I think, would have livened this scene up enormously.

652
00:39:50.340 --> 00:39:52.559
Oh boy, would it?

653
00:39:52.619 --> 00:39:55.320
But like the bit the bit in Starship Down.

654
00:39:55.380 --> 00:39:58.079
Where Cork has to choose which rod to pull out.

655
00:39:58.139 --> 00:40:00.780
And it all becomes a massive character moment.

656
00:40:00.840 --> 00:40:02.280
It goes, it's like gambling.

657
00:40:02.340 --> 00:40:04.260
It's a it's a game of chance.

658
00:40:04.320 --> 00:40:05.639
That's what makes it so exciting.

659
00:40:05.699 --> 00:40:06.360
We might die.

660
00:40:06.480 --> 00:40:07.199
Let's go.

661
00:40:07.260 --> 00:40:08.519
And it just falls one out.

662
00:40:08.579 --> 00:40:10.139
And it's so great.

663
00:40:10.199 --> 00:40:10.980
And guess what?

664
00:40:11.039 --> 00:40:12.719
It only lasts like 2 minutes.

665
00:40:12.840 --> 00:40:14.699
It's sort of 20 minutes.

666
00:40:15.059 --> 00:40:16.980
It never stops.

667
00:40:17.039 --> 00:40:18.420
Never stops.

668
00:40:18.539 --> 00:40:24.480
Also, you're talking in the past tense, lieutenant, and he hasn't used a past tense verb at all in that entire speech.

669
00:40:24.539 --> 00:40:26.400
So this guy's a writer.

670
00:40:26.460 --> 00:40:29.519
He should know that that annoys me because I'm a pedant.

671
00:40:29.519 --> 00:40:31.079
Or a pedant.

672
00:40:31.139 --> 00:40:36.300
I think John Shaban doesn't realise there is a much more exciting way to pull rods than this.

673
00:40:36.360 --> 00:40:38.280
Yeah, I mean, this is so boring.

674
00:40:38.340 --> 00:40:41.519
I have to say though, this prop is pretty great.

675
00:40:41.579 --> 00:40:42.960
Do you know what I mean?

676
00:40:43.019 --> 00:40:44.400
Like, don't you think the prop is pretty good?

677
00:40:44.579 --> 00:40:54.119
But it, oh, I think the whole ship, the engineering, all the props they do, it all looks nicely functional, like it does the jobs that it should.

678
00:40:54.179 --> 00:40:56.219
Yeah, but again, who cares?

679
00:40:56.280 --> 00:41:00.539
It's just like, let's watch. let's watch Bakula play with this prop.

680
00:41:00.599 --> 00:41:09.960
And the prop will be back as I think it's like, according to memory alpha, like part of some Zindi hardware or something, so they keep...

681
00:41:09.960 --> 00:41:10.860
He's still sweating there.

682
00:41:10.860 --> 00:41:11.400
He's still sweating.

683
00:41:11.460 --> 00:41:13.199
Okay, forget his name.

684
00:41:13.199 --> 00:41:14.519
Spray Anthony's forehead.

685
00:41:14.579 --> 00:41:16.500
What's the character's name?

686
00:41:16.559 --> 00:41:17.039
Travis.

687
00:41:17.099 --> 00:41:18.179
Travis.

688
00:41:18.239 --> 00:41:18.599
Oh thank you.

689
00:41:18.659 --> 00:41:21.119
See, I should know the regular's name in this show.

690
00:41:21.179 --> 00:41:22.019
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

691
00:41:22.079 --> 00:41:23.760
No, I do, but that's my brother's name.

692
00:41:23.820 --> 00:41:24.840
So that's kind of why.

693
00:41:24.900 --> 00:41:27.300
Arming the backup mechanism.

694
00:41:27.360 --> 00:41:28.860
Oh, God.

695
00:41:28.920 --> 00:41:32.400
You'll have to fall the circuit into thinking it's still online.

696
00:41:32.579 --> 00:41:34.320
How do we do that?

697
00:41:34.380 --> 00:41:36.659
There's a hyper spanner in the equipment case.

698
00:41:36.780 --> 00:41:39.300
I mean, really. boring, isn't it?

699
00:41:39.360 --> 00:41:41.519
No, I will say about John Shaban, right?

700
00:41:41.579 --> 00:41:44.340
I mean, I said excitedly, he was an X-Files writer.

701
00:41:44.400 --> 00:41:50.219
He was the most meat and potatoes of all the guitars, writers, like, oh, his episodes were so dreary.

702
00:41:50.280 --> 00:41:51.599
Yeah, generally speaking.

703
00:41:51.659 --> 00:41:55.559
Every now and again, like Vince Skilligan, you know, went on to do Breaking Bad.

704
00:41:55.619 --> 00:41:56.159
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

705
00:41:56.159 --> 00:42:00.780
Every now and again, they paired him up with Vince Gilligan and suddenly John Spann's episode was quality.

706
00:42:00.780 --> 00:42:01.739
Just shut up.

707
00:42:03.239 --> 00:42:04.980
They did the one.

708
00:42:05.039 --> 00:42:14.880
Do you remember the one with the genie that was wrapped up in the carpet that granted free wishes and Mulder went, I want peace on earth, and the genie got rid of everyone else on the earth, except him.

709
00:42:14.940 --> 00:42:19.320
And he walks out into the Washington DC street and there's no one there at all.

710
00:42:20.039 --> 00:42:24.539
I don't think that was John Shaban's doing that.

711
00:42:24.599 --> 00:42:26.880
Not if this is representative of his work.

712
00:42:27.539 --> 00:42:31.019
Oh, now we've got instruments coming out of cases.

713
00:42:31.079 --> 00:42:32.460
What's that, a spanner?

714
00:42:32.519 --> 00:42:34.920
No, it looks like a scout. you paying attention?

715
00:42:34.980 --> 00:42:36.059
God no.

716
00:42:36.119 --> 00:42:37.260
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

717
00:42:37.380 --> 00:42:41.400
Maybe if I was an engineer, you know, I might find this a bit more exciting.

718
00:42:41.460 --> 00:42:42.780
Tinkering about it.

719
00:42:42.780 --> 00:42:47.099
I mean, it is so boring and like, what if I was a straight man?

720
00:42:47.159 --> 00:42:48.539
Drink, I'd like this people.

721
00:42:48.599 --> 00:42:49.800
I think this is just boring.

722
00:42:49.860 --> 00:42:59.820
I think, like, it's the result of pairing the whole thing down so that everything is as simple as possible so that Star Trek isn't hard to follow.

723
00:42:59.880 --> 00:43:02.159
Like they do dumb the show down.

724
00:43:03.480 --> 00:43:10.199
And also showing us how everything functions to the minute detail instead of just getting to the point.

725
00:43:10.260 --> 00:43:12.960
Well, this should be tense.

726
00:43:13.019 --> 00:43:14.219
Do you know what I mean?

727
00:43:14.280 --> 00:43:16.019
Because we're diffusing a bomb.

728
00:43:16.079 --> 00:43:19.619
So it should be tense, but it's not.

729
00:43:20.159 --> 00:43:23.219
And everything is like super boring.

730
00:43:23.280 --> 00:43:27.599
And this thing, the fucking afraid of drowning thing is so dumb.

731
00:43:27.659 --> 00:43:29.280
It's so dumb.

732
00:43:29.340 --> 00:43:30.840
Afraid of drowning.

733
00:43:30.900 --> 00:43:32.159
You chose to be in space.

734
00:43:32.219 --> 00:43:34.139
Yeah. just like, wow.

735
00:43:34.199 --> 00:43:34.860
You're so brave.

736
00:43:34.920 --> 00:43:36.239
So bizarre.

737
00:43:36.300 --> 00:43:37.739
But like, they're afraid.

738
00:43:37.800 --> 00:43:38.400
What a man.

739
00:43:38.460 --> 00:43:39.179
What a man.

740
00:43:39.239 --> 00:43:40.380
Oh my god.

741
00:43:40.440 --> 00:43:41.699
Oh, dear.

742
00:43:42.119 --> 00:43:44.280
Oh, Nathan.

743
00:43:44.340 --> 00:43:49.559
Listen, this may have been my hardest test, you know, so far, and I'm tiles.

744
00:43:49.559 --> 00:43:52.139
Right, yeah, we're looking through this.

745
00:43:52.199 --> 00:43:53.460
No, I'm watching the talking.

746
00:43:53.519 --> 00:43:56.159
You and me can talk about anything, right?

747
00:43:56.219 --> 00:43:59.820
If needs be, we'll talk about me making a cup of tea or something like that.

748
00:43:59.880 --> 00:44:02.039
No, watching this thing.

749
00:44:02.099 --> 00:44:08.039
No, well, I watched it twice because I'm a very professional dedicated podcaster.

750
00:44:08.099 --> 00:44:10.380
Start with the topmost component.

751
00:44:10.440 --> 00:44:17.340
Use the calliper to lift it a few millimetres and then turn it clockwise, 360 degrees.

752
00:44:17.400 --> 00:44:18.840
And gently.

753
00:44:18.840 --> 00:44:19.500
And Star Trek.

754
00:44:19.559 --> 00:44:21.539
Gently reinsert it now.

755
00:44:21.599 --> 00:44:24.179
Now that sounds exciting. saucy it's starting to get saucy.

756
00:44:24.239 --> 00:44:24.780
Oh, here we go.

757
00:44:24.840 --> 00:44:27.599
He was something of a hero to me, my great uncle.

758
00:44:28.260 --> 00:44:30.960
You mean the one with aquophobia?

759
00:44:31.019 --> 00:44:33.239
Yeah, that's the one. the other one.

760
00:44:33.300 --> 00:44:35.039
No, he has aquaphobia.

761
00:44:35.099 --> 00:44:43.320
Malcolm has aquophobia, and his uncle has aquophobia, but ironically, he drowned and he found out he quite liked it, apparently.

762
00:44:43.380 --> 00:44:44.400
No, that doesn't happen.

763
00:44:44.460 --> 00:44:49.139
But, like, it's so boring.

764
00:44:49.199 --> 00:44:50.460
Like, who cares?

765
00:44:50.519 --> 00:44:52.079
is so boring.

766
00:44:53.099 --> 00:44:58.440
Jesus, right. you know, they could have, they made a joke of this at the end, you know.

767
00:44:58.500 --> 00:45:03.420
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know your uncle, the one who had fear of drowning, him.

768
00:45:03.480 --> 00:45:07.500
Just make a joke out of it or something. like it's really shit.

769
00:45:07.559 --> 00:45:08.639
Like, that's nothing.

770
00:45:08.699 --> 00:45:13.619
Like, that's the best we come up with. something exciting just happened there.

771
00:45:13.679 --> 00:45:19.380
They was pressing those rods clockwise, and now he's telling them to do it. counterclockwise.

772
00:45:19.440 --> 00:45:19.980
Yeah, yeah.

773
00:45:20.039 --> 00:45:21.960
Anti-clockwise, as we say.

774
00:45:22.079 --> 00:45:23.820
We haven't tried that.

775
00:45:23.880 --> 00:45:25.800
So that might be the solution to this.

776
00:45:25.860 --> 00:45:27.599
That's so interesting.

777
00:45:27.659 --> 00:45:30.539
Oh, they hit a mine left over from the world war.

778
00:45:30.599 --> 00:45:31.199
Here we go.

779
00:45:31.320 --> 00:45:35.940
Oh, this trapped underneath an ice shelf.

780
00:45:36.000 --> 00:45:39.300
So like it's so bad.

781
00:45:39.360 --> 00:45:40.380
It's so bad.

782
00:45:40.440 --> 00:45:45.719
Like, it's always terrible when Star Trek characters tell these stories. like they're super boring.

783
00:45:45.780 --> 00:45:57.179
They're not what anyone does and they're all really overdetermined and stuff like that and it's kind of like, like, oh, the man afraid of drowning, ironically, drowned.

784
00:45:57.239 --> 00:45:59.579
The ship was sinking. blah, blah, blah.

785
00:45:59.639 --> 00:46:00.900
Jesus Christ.

786
00:46:01.019 --> 00:46:07.500
Do you remember that time when Kira was fixed to the spot and a great enormous rock was developing over her?

787
00:46:07.559 --> 00:46:09.179
I really miss those days.

788
00:46:11.340 --> 00:46:14.099
At least it was a bit quirky, you know?

789
00:46:14.159 --> 00:46:16.380
Yeah, yeah, stupid, I think you mean.

790
00:46:16.500 --> 00:46:17.820
And it was.

791
00:46:17.820 --> 00:46:19.739
Yeah, but I would take stupid over this.

792
00:46:19.800 --> 00:46:21.000
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

793
00:46:21.059 --> 00:46:21.480
Yeah.

794
00:46:21.480 --> 00:46:27.300
You name me the stupidest Star Trek episode and I would watch it over this.

795
00:46:27.360 --> 00:46:28.260
Genesis.

796
00:46:28.320 --> 00:46:28.739
Oh, there.

797
00:46:28.800 --> 00:46:30.000
Subros, yes, please.

798
00:46:30.059 --> 00:46:31.079
They're both fun.

799
00:46:31.139 --> 00:46:32.099
Yeah, yeah.

800
00:46:32.159 --> 00:46:34.860
I'll even rewatch what was that dreadful DS9?

801
00:46:34.920 --> 00:46:36.599
Dramatis persona, you know?

802
00:46:36.659 --> 00:46:39.599
At least this guy was beating the shit out of some people.

803
00:46:39.659 --> 00:46:46.019
Well, it just shows you that I was right to properly appreciate a night in Sick Bay because it's much more fun than this.

804
00:46:46.079 --> 00:46:47.280
It has the dog.

805
00:46:47.340 --> 00:46:49.079
Do you know what these extreme close-ups they're doing now?

806
00:46:49.139 --> 00:46:49.739
No.

807
00:46:49.739 --> 00:46:50.219
Spencer.

808
00:46:50.219 --> 00:46:51.059
Are they going to kiss?

809
00:46:51.059 --> 00:46:52.980
but they can't because they're wearing helmets.

810
00:46:53.579 --> 00:46:57.179
I don't think I don't want to be rude or anything like that.

811
00:46:57.239 --> 00:46:59.039
Mackleberry's not a pretty bloke, is he?

812
00:46:59.099 --> 00:47:00.300
No, I mean, he's all right.

813
00:47:00.360 --> 00:47:01.380
He just looks like a person.

814
00:47:01.500 --> 00:47:02.820
It's fine. you know.

815
00:47:05.880 --> 00:47:07.980
What's he saying now, won't tell a soul?

816
00:47:08.039 --> 00:47:09.300
No, he needs you.

817
00:47:09.300 --> 00:47:10.559
What's your secret map?

818
00:47:10.619 --> 00:47:10.980
Come on.

819
00:47:11.099 --> 00:47:15.239
But then it doesn't does it happen or is he weighing now?

820
00:47:15.300 --> 00:47:17.159
Like, when does he start weing?

821
00:47:17.219 --> 00:47:18.119
No, wait.

822
00:47:18.179 --> 00:47:22.079
If you can get fluid into the suit, surely you can get fluid out of it.

823
00:47:22.139 --> 00:47:24.239
You think you just, but like...

824
00:47:24.239 --> 00:47:28.079
We could at least watch the pee flying through space.

825
00:47:28.139 --> 00:47:29.880
It would be something.

826
00:47:29.940 --> 00:47:33.000
But I think you can we in a space suit.

827
00:47:33.119 --> 00:47:36.960
Like, I don't think you have to hold it in if you're on the fucking moon.

828
00:47:37.079 --> 00:47:39.780
Like, dude, like, like, you're on the moon.

829
00:47:39.840 --> 00:47:42.119
Did you see how to Paul was sitting on that chair then?

830
00:47:42.179 --> 00:47:44.579
Sort of poised like an Amazon warrior.

831
00:47:46.619 --> 00:47:48.719
Oh dear.

832
00:47:48.780 --> 00:47:50.940
Oh, so now we're talking.

833
00:47:51.000 --> 00:47:55.320
So now we're talking to the Romulans because we've learned their language.

834
00:47:55.380 --> 00:48:07.920
We didn't know in 2151 what we now know in 2024 about concussion and Hoshi should not have been doing the translation, but she has.

835
00:48:07.980 --> 00:48:12.900
No one knows who plays this Romulan.

836
00:48:12.960 --> 00:48:16.860
And it just sounds to me like John Reese Davies.

837
00:48:17.219 --> 00:48:19.920
Yeah, can you just do a voice for us, please?

838
00:48:19.980 --> 00:48:20.880
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

839
00:48:21.239 --> 00:48:22.619
We haven't got to paying the other actors.

840
00:48:22.679 --> 00:48:25.739
Well, you notice how how dirty Tripp's faces?

841
00:48:25.800 --> 00:48:29.760
Now, you got dirty right at the beginning of the episode, but they've just been sitting around on the bridge.

842
00:48:29.820 --> 00:48:31.139
Surely you could have washed it.

843
00:48:31.260 --> 00:48:31.800
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

844
00:48:31.860 --> 00:48:32.940
Don't they have wipes or something?

845
00:48:33.000 --> 00:48:35.039
Like a little dispenser on the wall.

846
00:48:35.099 --> 00:48:37.860
Next to the little hole that they...

847
00:48:37.860 --> 00:48:41.400
They're pretty still fucking twisting these things around on the bomb.

848
00:48:42.599 --> 00:48:45.300
Get on with it already.

849
00:48:45.420 --> 00:48:48.179
I think the stars in the background are good.

850
00:48:48.239 --> 00:48:50.039
The occasional shot of the Nacelles is good.

851
00:48:50.099 --> 00:48:51.659
Do you know what I mean, in the background of the thing?

852
00:48:51.719 --> 00:48:58.079
If I've learnt nothing else, you know, I do know how to dispose of bomb in the 23rd century.

853
00:48:58.079 --> 00:48:58.800
No, you don't.

854
00:48:58.860 --> 00:49:01.619
Because, like, it's rearmed itself, we have to quickly undo it. now.

855
00:49:01.679 --> 00:49:02.519
There's a reversal.

856
00:49:02.579 --> 00:49:10.619
Oh, you're because you're there going, thank fucking Christ they've done the 5th of the detonators are now our long nightmare is over.

857
00:49:10.679 --> 00:49:13.679
And no, no, it's it's rearming itself.

858
00:49:13.739 --> 00:49:15.179
We have to undo the last one.

859
00:49:15.239 --> 00:49:16.980
It's just like, oh, you're kidding me.

860
00:49:17.039 --> 00:49:20.159
I can't know it's the actual bomb like going around though.

861
00:49:20.219 --> 00:49:22.500
So it looks like he's just pulling out the same rod each time.

862
00:49:22.559 --> 00:49:25.139
Oh, no, no, he goes around to the different side.

863
00:49:25.199 --> 00:49:26.280
He goes around.

864
00:49:26.340 --> 00:49:26.699
Are you sure?

865
00:49:26.820 --> 00:49:28.800
Well, you paying attention?

866
00:49:28.860 --> 00:49:29.460
No.

867
00:49:30.659 --> 00:49:33.480
Oh, Reed just had a line there.

868
00:49:33.539 --> 00:49:35.099
He went, it's too deep inside.

869
00:49:35.159 --> 00:49:36.300
Yes.

870
00:49:36.360 --> 00:49:38.460
No, he's talking about the...

871
00:49:38.519 --> 00:49:39.059
Yeah.

872
00:49:39.119 --> 00:49:39.900
No.

873
00:49:39.960 --> 00:49:40.920
He's all out the bomb, is he?

874
00:49:40.980 --> 00:49:42.000
He is talking about the bomb.

875
00:49:42.059 --> 00:49:52.380
New thing that they have to diffuse is like right in the middle. any possible du entendre at this point is the...

876
00:49:52.380 --> 00:49:53.880
Oh, God, that was a cliffhanger.

877
00:49:53.940 --> 00:49:54.360
What happened?

878
00:49:54.420 --> 00:49:55.440
I don't know.

879
00:49:55.500 --> 00:50:01.079
It's just like Reed says, you know, you have to let me go or does he do that?

880
00:50:01.139 --> 00:50:02.280
You've done all you can.

881
00:50:02.340 --> 00:50:06.239
It's time to kind of let me go And then Archer says no.

882
00:50:06.300 --> 00:50:08.760
And it's kind of like, okay.

883
00:50:08.820 --> 00:50:10.679
Okay.

884
00:50:10.739 --> 00:50:13.260
Um, but why?

885
00:50:13.320 --> 00:50:15.119
Do you know what I mean?

886
00:50:15.179 --> 00:50:17.099
I'd prefer a burial at sea.

887
00:50:17.159 --> 00:50:18.960
I thought you were afraid of Warsaw.

888
00:50:19.019 --> 00:50:20.639
My God, I'm really learning a lot.

889
00:50:20.699 --> 00:50:21.719
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

890
00:50:21.780 --> 00:50:25.980
He's got to keep repeating the same point over and over again. 2nd characteristic.

891
00:50:26.039 --> 00:50:27.059
He scared of drowning.

892
00:50:27.119 --> 00:50:32.400
Oh, I don't think we'd actually hear about that ever again.

893
00:50:32.460 --> 00:50:34.320
I don't think he ever goes near water.

894
00:50:34.380 --> 00:50:37.019
Does it come up in space all that often, perhaps?

895
00:50:37.079 --> 00:50:38.760
is the thing. true.

896
00:50:38.760 --> 00:50:39.300
That is true.

897
00:50:39.360 --> 00:50:40.079
Yeah.

898
00:50:40.079 --> 00:50:45.179
And we've already been to the Carbon Creek in the last episode, so that's how... he wasn't there, was he?

899
00:50:45.239 --> 00:50:45.719
He wasn't there.

900
00:50:45.780 --> 00:50:46.380
No.

901
00:50:46.380 --> 00:50:47.039
Tapal.

902
00:50:47.099 --> 00:50:47.760
Yeah, yeah.

903
00:50:48.000 --> 00:50:52.139
I mean, God, at least at this point he could have gone, oh, no, that's it.

904
00:50:52.199 --> 00:50:52.980
He's unplugging.

905
00:50:53.039 --> 00:50:54.900
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

906
00:50:54.960 --> 00:50:56.820
But I actually quite like that.

907
00:50:56.880 --> 00:51:00.840
Like, I kind of think that that's a dramatic thing that happened.

908
00:51:00.900 --> 00:51:01.619
Do you know what I mean?

909
00:51:01.679 --> 00:51:03.539
Like it's...

910
00:51:03.539 --> 00:51:07.500
Some more dramatic archer dropping the pads and it went flying off into space.

911
00:51:07.559 --> 00:51:08.460
No, Malcolm.

912
00:51:08.639 --> 00:51:13.800
Malcolm doing his, I'm unconscious and floaty acting.

913
00:51:13.860 --> 00:51:19.920
And then, like, again, we just very quickly plug it back in and he's fine.

914
00:51:19.980 --> 00:51:24.179
And doesn't Archer plug his own thing in to him as well?

915
00:51:24.300 --> 00:51:25.199
Yeah.

916
00:51:25.440 --> 00:51:29.699
But the only cliche we hadn't done at this point was self-sacrifice.

917
00:51:29.820 --> 00:51:31.380
Of course, we had to tick the box.

918
00:51:31.440 --> 00:51:33.659
But it was leading up to that, wasn't it?

919
00:51:33.719 --> 00:51:39.360
Because we had the uncle story of self-sacrifice and we had this conflict over whether to leave him behind or not.

920
00:51:39.420 --> 00:51:41.280
And he doesn't want.

921
00:51:41.400 --> 00:51:45.900
He thinks that Archer shouldn't do that because he disapproves of Archer's command thing.

922
00:51:45.960 --> 00:51:47.760
And so he preempts it.

923
00:51:47.820 --> 00:51:50.699
But it doesn't like, fuck, like, whatever.

924
00:51:50.760 --> 00:51:51.960
Who cares at this point?

925
00:51:52.019 --> 00:51:57.119
Oh, I just can't bear any of this, him going, leave me, him saying, no, I'm not going to leave you.

926
00:51:57.179 --> 00:51:59.099
I'm not going to do that, Jesus.

927
00:51:59.159 --> 00:52:02.519
But, I mean, the other thing too is that none of this is here.

928
00:52:02.639 --> 00:52:03.659
Do you know what I mean?

929
00:52:03.719 --> 00:52:23.820
It's like he's a, like, if we'd had something, like, leading up to this, maybe we do, maybe Malcolm expresses reservations about how Archer, you know, captains the ship, but I doubt it, because all he's doing is kind of polarising the hull plating and shit.

930
00:52:24.300 --> 00:52:36.179
Hey, so in later episodes, there are points where he sort of stubbornly says, oh, you're doing a bad job, Captain Archer. you know, he's right. but he's so annoying that you don't want to listen to him anyway.

931
00:52:36.239 --> 00:52:36.719
Yeah, yeah.

932
00:52:36.719 --> 00:52:40.440
Then in season three, they have the Macos come on board.

933
00:52:40.500 --> 00:52:43.800
Oh, okay, so he gets conflict with Stephen Carter or whatever.

934
00:52:43.860 --> 00:52:48.780
Super jealous of the head macco and so yeah, so that's his rug.

935
00:52:48.840 --> 00:52:50.519
It's always sort of this macho bullshit.

936
00:52:50.579 --> 00:52:55.739
Then in the last season, of course, he is an agent of Section 31, That was his dirty past.

937
00:52:55.800 --> 00:53:05.820
The bad section 31, the one which mates on the top of an unconvincing, uh, city block with a guy in the flashing Mac.

938
00:53:05.880 --> 00:53:08.159
They never get a handle on him, ever.

939
00:53:08.219 --> 00:53:09.840
I don't think Yeah, yeah.

940
00:53:09.900 --> 00:53:10.320
Yeah.

941
00:53:11.039 --> 00:53:15.300
And but in 4 years, I don't think the actor does either.

942
00:53:15.360 --> 00:53:18.239
No, I don't think he's ever comfortable in that skin.

943
00:53:18.360 --> 00:53:21.539
But think about Star Trek the Next Generation, right?

944
00:53:21.599 --> 00:53:40.260
Where scenes are not generally about who the characters are, and the characters have like a 3 line bio in the ship's Bible, but everyone's performance is distinctive and interesting enough that they feel, you know, they're people that you can have affection for.

945
00:53:40.320 --> 00:53:44.219
So you don't need a big complex backstory.

946
00:53:44.280 --> 00:53:57.480
You kind of need the actor's performance to bring it together, but he's not being given anything and he's not trying to get anything out of the lines or do anything that the writers can grab onto because that's the other thing. isn't it?

947
00:53:57.539 --> 00:54:02.340
Like writers see that people are good at particular things and then they try and play to their strengths.

948
00:54:02.400 --> 00:54:03.480
I don't know.

949
00:54:03.539 --> 00:54:09.420
It's like, it's like when they realise that, um, uh, sitting alpha deal one, Colomini.

950
00:54:09.480 --> 00:54:11.820
And they were like, man, man, we just got to keep playing this.

951
00:54:11.880 --> 00:54:12.840
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

952
00:54:12.840 --> 00:54:16.860
And they did all sit in the Alpha deal when Andrew Robinson, you know, like, let's just keep...

953
00:54:16.860 --> 00:54:18.840
I hope they didn't look at this.

954
00:54:18.900 --> 00:54:23.699
I mean, we never have another Malcolm Reed archer.

955
00:54:23.820 --> 00:54:26.519
I think it's because they watch this, you know?

956
00:54:26.579 --> 00:54:27.420
Yeah, yeah.

957
00:54:27.900 --> 00:54:32.940
But as well, it's like you said about TNG though. the chemistry. the chemistry between the crew.

958
00:54:33.000 --> 00:54:35.159
It's very rarely the character writing.

959
00:54:35.219 --> 00:54:36.539
No, no, it's always out.

960
00:54:36.599 --> 00:54:40.019
They bring to it and the affection that they have for each other.

961
00:54:40.079 --> 00:54:41.579
It is infectious to watch.

962
00:54:42.300 --> 00:54:51.179
There is limited chemistry amongst this cast and there is no chemistry at all between Malcolm Reid and Archer.

963
00:54:51.539 --> 00:54:52.559
Yeah, yeah, none.

964
00:54:54.360 --> 00:54:57.480
Because imagine if this was like Quork and Odo.

965
00:54:57.539 --> 00:54:58.500
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

966
00:54:58.559 --> 00:54:59.519
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

967
00:54:59.519 --> 00:55:06.179
Even like Geordie and Data or the captain and, you know, like anyone, like on Star Trek, the Next Generation.

968
00:55:06.239 --> 00:55:14.400
And, like, admittedly, it takes them a while to settle and have chemistry and work out how Star Trek works in, you know, the late 1980s.

969
00:55:14.460 --> 00:55:17.039
Like they have their share of ropey episodes.

970
00:55:17.099 --> 00:55:18.960
But this is so nothing.

971
00:55:19.019 --> 00:55:20.639
There's just so nothing to this.

972
00:55:20.699 --> 00:55:23.519
I do quite like them flying off on the panels here.

973
00:55:23.579 --> 00:55:25.800
Yeah, then the bomb goes off.

974
00:55:25.860 --> 00:55:26.820
Yeah, yeah.

975
00:55:26.880 --> 00:55:28.019
It's all...

976
00:55:28.019 --> 00:55:28.559
Or something.

977
00:55:29.039 --> 00:55:30.000
At least this ended.

978
00:55:30.059 --> 00:55:31.139
Yeah that's right.

979
00:55:31.800 --> 00:55:34.679
It could be crap though, doesn't it?

980
00:55:34.980 --> 00:55:37.380
Oh, I'll take anything.

981
00:55:37.440 --> 00:55:38.760
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

982
00:55:38.820 --> 00:55:40.199
It's a bit of action, I guess.

983
00:55:40.260 --> 00:55:45.059
So this is a weird thing from Montgomery, right?

984
00:55:45.119 --> 00:55:50.639
So he's looking at the instrument. everyone thinks they're gone.

985
00:55:50.699 --> 00:55:58.920
Someone goes Travis and then he says, I see them bearing 213 mark four, but at no point does he react to seeing them?

986
00:55:58.980 --> 00:55:59.940
Do you know what I mean?

987
00:56:00.000 --> 00:56:01.260
He's just staring at the thing.

988
00:56:01.320 --> 00:56:08.159
It never occurs to him to kind of go to just indicate to us that he's seen something surprising or new.

989
00:56:08.219 --> 00:56:10.079
It's just when he's asked.

990
00:56:10.139 --> 00:56:12.480
He goes, oh, yes, I see.

991
00:56:12.599 --> 00:56:15.599
You know, like I don't know what's going on there.

992
00:56:15.659 --> 00:56:17.219
I don't know what's going on there.

993
00:56:17.280 --> 00:56:18.119
Maybe he's checking out.

994
00:56:18.179 --> 00:56:19.440
Well, she wasn't exactly.

995
00:56:19.500 --> 00:56:23.579
I mean, I know she can't show too much emotion, but she wasn't exactly, you know, up in the stakes.

996
00:56:23.639 --> 00:56:27.539
No, no, but there should just be some indication that he's seen something.

997
00:56:27.599 --> 00:56:31.199
Don't you think you would react to seeing him on the screen?

998
00:56:31.260 --> 00:56:33.539
So this is the final scene.

999
00:56:33.599 --> 00:56:39.239
Now are we supposed to think they're busy mates now because of this extreme situation they've been in.

1000
00:56:39.300 --> 00:56:50.340
So the, the line is, he goes, if I may say so, your style of command does have its advantages in that I'm now still alive as a result of it.

1001
00:56:50.400 --> 00:57:11.280
Um, but, and that's the, the other joke is, which I think is really great, is where he, he asks him about sports again when they're on the surface of the, of the ship, and Malcolm says, I haven't started following any sports since breakfast, if that's anyone, which doesn't seem pretty good.

1002
00:57:11.340 --> 00:57:14.219
But there's really nothing here.

1003
00:57:14.280 --> 00:57:15.059
Like, that's it.

1004
00:57:15.119 --> 00:57:16.139
The doctor's here.

1005
00:57:16.199 --> 00:57:18.960
I just realised a way they could have salvaged the whole episode.

1006
00:57:19.139 --> 00:57:25.860
And why Reedus, you know, got such a bug up his butt, you know. at the last minute.

1007
00:57:26.880 --> 00:57:27.420
No, no, no.

1008
00:57:27.480 --> 00:57:31.739
If reader said to Archer, there at the end, I really fancy you.

1009
00:57:32.159 --> 00:57:38.940
And then they all walk in and then you're like, 0 my god, he's been awkward this whole time because he's in love with Captain Archer.

1010
00:57:39.420 --> 00:57:41.219
It would have been something.

1011
00:57:41.280 --> 00:57:42.360
It would have been something.

1012
00:57:42.420 --> 00:57:48.360
But yeah, there's a really sort of massive lack of ambition and lack of imagination here, I think.

1013
00:57:48.480 --> 00:57:51.659
It's like the most rightly conceit.

1014
00:57:51.719 --> 00:58:10.739
I'm going to address this neglected relationship, and I'm going to do it by strapping them both to a bomb and having them alternately discuss, diffusing the bomb and an utterly boring, unrelatable backstory, and then, you know, a thing will happen and we'll get out of it.

1015
00:58:10.800 --> 00:58:11.880
Like, it's so boring.

1016
00:58:12.000 --> 00:58:26.219
Do you know, I'm going to say something that I hate the word lazy because I don't think writing a script is a lazy art, you have to construct a strip dramatically and give everybody dialogue and character bits and blah, blah, blah.

1017
00:58:26.280 --> 00:58:30.239
But I want to say something I would not really say about it.

1018
00:58:30.300 --> 00:58:35.159
I think even I could write a better version of that episode than what we just saw, you know?

1019
00:58:35.219 --> 00:58:44.099
I could add a few jokes. and a bit of personality and do a couple more reversals and I don't know, just something.

1020
00:58:44.159 --> 00:58:44.880
Yeah.

1021
00:58:44.880 --> 00:58:45.900
Just something.

1022
00:58:45.960 --> 00:58:50.219
I couldn't possibly imagine ever going back and watching that again, ever.

1023
00:58:50.280 --> 00:58:55.260
It's so patterned and so slow, there's so little going on.

1024
00:58:55.320 --> 00:58:57.659
And you know, it's 42 minutes long.

1025
00:58:57.719 --> 00:59:09.719
It's not a long episode of TV and everything is played at this sort of weirdly slow pace because we're in space and everyone is interacting with one another in the most boring way possible.

1026
00:59:09.840 --> 00:59:11.340
I don't know.

1027
00:59:11.400 --> 00:59:13.019
It's pretty...

1028
00:59:13.019 --> 00:59:15.480
It is the most passive suspense.

1029
00:59:15.599 --> 00:59:18.960
You're ever gonna see in a Star Trek episode.

1030
00:59:19.019 --> 00:59:23.639
Oh, let's go and watch something else and forget about it. anything else.

1031
00:59:30.360 --> 00:59:36.059
All right, it's the end of the episode and we're going to find out where we're going next.

1032
00:59:36.119 --> 00:59:38.940
This was my choice, typically.

1033
00:59:39.000 --> 00:59:43.380
And so it's your turn, Joe, to come up with something better than this.

1034
00:59:43.440 --> 00:59:45.360
I don't think it'll take too many rolls.

1035
00:59:45.420 --> 00:59:47.639
Twice before we go into the Enterprise.

1036
00:59:47.760 --> 00:59:48.900
Well next time, won't you?

1037
00:59:48.960 --> 00:59:49.440
No.

1038
00:59:49.500 --> 00:59:51.059
No, I won't.

1039
00:59:51.059 --> 00:59:52.380
It's a weird kink you've got.

1040
00:59:53.099 --> 00:59:54.780
That's the thing.

1041
00:59:54.780 --> 00:59:59.820
That and that bizarre corpse, Android, sex from birth contact.

1042
01:00:00.300 --> 01:00:09.179
Sexy, sexy corpse, Android from 1st Conference. where... and entitled Star Trek Project is your weird kinks.

1043
01:00:11.340 --> 01:00:14.099
The weirdest one of all talking to me.

1044
01:00:14.400 --> 01:00:16.500
About Star Trek.

1045
01:00:17.039 --> 01:00:19.139
So what have you picked?

1046
01:00:19.199 --> 01:00:20.039
What episodes?

1047
01:00:20.099 --> 01:00:21.000
seasons are we doing?

1048
01:00:21.059 --> 01:00:21.780
Okay.

1049
01:00:21.840 --> 01:00:25.440
Do you know, because you were predictable last time going to Enterprise?

1050
01:00:25.500 --> 01:00:28.440
I'm going to do my unusual and put them all in.

1051
01:00:28.500 --> 01:00:29.400
Put them all in.

1052
01:00:29.460 --> 01:00:32.579
Okay, brilliant. that's right Let's see what happens. ready for this?

1053
01:00:32.699 --> 01:00:34.320
Okay.

1054
01:00:34.500 --> 01:00:37.800
Oh, the original series.

1055
01:00:37.860 --> 01:00:42.780
Series 2, episode 19, a Private Little War.

1056
01:00:42.840 --> 01:00:45.539
Ooh. that could be interesting.

1057
01:00:45.599 --> 01:00:47.460
What's that all about?

1058
01:00:47.519 --> 01:00:53.699
I don't know, but it's said on one of those planets where it's like a piece of the action, I think, isn't it?

1059
01:00:53.760 --> 01:00:54.840
Did I dream that?

1060
01:00:54.900 --> 01:00:56.699
It's like a earth-tight planet.

1061
01:00:56.760 --> 01:00:59.579
Is it Chicago?

1062
01:00:59.639 --> 01:01:00.480
I't know what it is.

1063
01:01:00.539 --> 01:01:01.139
I don't know.

1064
01:01:01.199 --> 01:01:06.480
Well, you know, I do like pressing it a few times. do it a few more times, okay?

1065
01:01:06.539 --> 01:01:12.000
Your random Star Trek Voyager episode is season four, episode four, Nemesis.

1066
01:01:12.059 --> 01:01:14.940
Now, it's a Chakotay episode, bad start.

1067
01:01:15.000 --> 01:01:24.059
It's the one where he's there on that planet where all these kids are having a war and they've got this sort of bizarre language that they all talk that he's trying to interpret.

1068
01:01:24.119 --> 01:01:25.860
Yeah, that sounds terrible.

1069
01:01:25.860 --> 01:01:29.400
It sounds a bit tedious, doesn't it?

1070
01:01:29.460 --> 01:01:30.659
Oh, oh, no.

1071
01:01:31.679 --> 01:01:34.800
Whoa, pure coincidence.

1072
01:01:34.860 --> 01:01:39.179
DS9, season five, episode five, the assignment.

1073
01:01:39.239 --> 01:01:41.099
It's the evil Keiko episode.

1074
01:01:42.960 --> 01:01:47.579
We can't blow our load with Rosalind Chow though, this early, can we?

1075
01:01:47.639 --> 01:01:49.260
There'll be nothing worse.

1076
01:01:49.440 --> 01:01:51.420
It's tempting though.

1077
01:01:51.480 --> 01:01:54.179
Oh, no, wait, please, let's do this.

1078
01:01:54.239 --> 01:01:57.300
I think we're quite low in the Star Trek Voyager stakes.

1079
01:01:57.360 --> 01:01:57.900
Okay, okay.

1080
01:01:57.960 --> 01:02:02.039
This is a particularly terrible, but I quite like it.

1081
01:02:02.099 --> 01:02:04.320
Oh, okay, that sounds perfect.

1082
01:02:04.380 --> 01:02:07.800
Season six, episode 25.

1083
01:02:08.159 --> 01:02:10.320
The haunting of deck 12.

1084
01:02:12.719 --> 01:02:14.639
I remember that.

1085
01:02:14.820 --> 01:02:16.980
It's so cheesy.

1086
01:02:17.039 --> 01:02:20.760
It's more fun than this, though, but we just watched. naturally.

1087
01:02:20.820 --> 01:02:22.860
And so it's a Neelix heavy episode.

1088
01:02:22.920 --> 01:02:24.059
He's narrating.

1089
01:02:24.179 --> 01:02:25.800
He's there with the kids.

1090
01:02:25.860 --> 01:02:28.380
He's got a wood in the Coco Bay around the campfire.

1091
01:02:28.380 --> 01:02:30.960
And the baby kept talking about...

1092
01:02:31.019 --> 01:02:31.380
No.

1093
01:02:31.380 --> 01:02:37.079
Yeah, I believe that the great haunting is, as usual, one anomaly that they've gone through.

1094
01:02:37.139 --> 01:02:37.800
Yeah, yeah.

1095
01:02:37.800 --> 01:02:40.440
Some gastroous cloud that's going through the ship, you know.

1096
01:02:40.500 --> 01:02:52.500
But it's got some proper camp, like horror imagery of doors opening and closing and smoke all in the ship and, you know, much more our cup of tea than this.

1097
01:02:52.559 --> 01:02:53.039
Okay, all right.

1098
01:02:53.099 --> 01:02:53.639
That sounds great.

1099
01:02:53.699 --> 01:02:55.019
I'm definitely up for that.

1100
01:02:55.079 --> 01:02:58.320
And of course, the haunting of deck 12.

1101
01:02:59.039 --> 01:03:00.119
Also a good sign.

1102
01:03:00.539 --> 01:03:03.000
Let's do it. absolutely.

1103
01:03:54.960 --> 01:03:56.760
Oh, it's garbage.

1104
01:03:56.820 --> 01:03:57.719
It's great.

1105
01:03:58.260 --> 01:04:14.519
So I was watching an episode of Lower Decks the other day. and Boimler thought that he was going to be in the Starfleets magazine, the top 30 under 30 and he doesn't get in it.

1106
01:04:14.579 --> 01:04:16.920
He was assured that he was going to get it, but he's not in it.

1107
01:04:16.980 --> 01:04:23.280
I think Mariner or something says, well, surely you were 31 and he goes, but there were 50 honourable mentions.

1108
01:04:23.280 --> 01:04:26.400
And one of them was Naomi Wildman and she's 10.

1109
01:04:32.460 --> 01:04:34.199
Legend.

1110
01:04:34.380 --> 01:04:36.480
Is Naomi in that one?

1111
01:04:36.539 --> 01:04:37.500
I think she is, you know.

1112
01:04:37.559 --> 01:04:38.880
Jama hated it.

1113
01:04:38.940 --> 01:04:41.099
I remember he gave it like half a star.

1114
01:04:41.159 --> 01:04:43.380
Oh, you're automatically going to love it.

1115
01:04:43.380 --> 01:04:45.119
What did he give minefield?

1116
01:04:45.179 --> 01:04:46.320
Can we just find out?

1117
01:04:46.380 --> 01:04:48.239
Oh, probably 3 stars.

1118
01:04:48.300 --> 01:04:50.460
Yeah, let's have a look. one bem, probably.

1119
01:04:51.119 --> 01:04:53.039
One bim.

1120
01:04:56.099 --> 01:04:58.380
Okay, I've got him up.

1121
01:04:59.219 --> 01:05:02.699
Oh, what did you think about section 31?

1122
01:05:02.820 --> 01:05:03.900
Mission forgettable?

1123
01:05:03.960 --> 01:05:05.760
Oh, you hate it.

1124
01:05:05.820 --> 01:05:06.480
I hate it.

1125
01:05:06.480 --> 01:05:07.380
I hate it.

1126
01:05:07.440 --> 01:05:10.019
I would have watched the shit out of that show if it had gone to show.

1127
01:05:10.079 --> 01:05:11.219
I would have loved that.

1128
01:05:11.280 --> 01:05:12.059
Oh, Michelle Ye.

1129
01:05:12.119 --> 01:05:12.659
I would have too.

1130
01:05:12.719 --> 01:05:13.380
Yeah.

1131
01:05:13.440 --> 01:05:14.579
Just for her.

1132
01:05:14.699 --> 01:05:15.539
Yeah.

1133
01:05:15.599 --> 01:05:20.219
So, wait, we're looking for enterprise season two.

1134
01:05:21.420 --> 01:05:24.360
Three, three, stars.

1135
01:05:24.480 --> 01:05:26.940
It's so boring.

1136
01:05:27.059 --> 01:05:30.840
Section episode featuring good characterisation.

1137
01:05:30.900 --> 01:05:31.619
Really?

1138
01:05:31.679 --> 01:05:32.340
What?

1139
01:05:32.340 --> 01:05:38.639
Yeah, I like this episode the 1st time I saw it when it was called Shuttlepod one.

1140
01:05:39.900 --> 01:05:41.579
Oh God.

1141
01:05:41.639 --> 01:05:46.380
The point is watching Reed and Archer interact as they try to dismantle Lo McGuffin.

1142
01:05:46.440 --> 01:05:48.719
It's not complicated but it is effective.

1143
01:05:50.280 --> 01:05:51.900
And he gives an island to Bay one.

1144
01:05:51.960 --> 01:05:52.440
It's crazy.

1145
01:05:52.500 --> 01:05:54.300
Crazy, crazy, crazy.

1146
01:05:54.420 --> 01:05:59.280
One of his commentators, does anyone else have a strong desire to punch Archer in the face?

1147
01:05:59.340 --> 01:06:00.239
Yes.

1148
01:06:01.139 --> 01:06:02.519
Yes.

1149
01:06:02.519 --> 01:06:03.239
Frequently.

1150
01:06:03.300 --> 01:06:04.920
Yes, mysterious commenter.

1151
01:06:06.599 --> 01:06:08.579
Oh, look, someone else.

1152
01:06:08.639 --> 01:06:10.800
Boy, oh boy, this dragged a bit.

1153
01:06:10.860 --> 01:06:14.880
Oh, maybe we should read out Jamba's comments commentators every now and again.

1154
01:06:15.960 --> 01:06:17.760
Oh dear.

1155
01:06:17.820 --> 01:06:19.199
Oh, look what someone put here.

1156
01:06:19.260 --> 01:06:22.679
Sorry, I'm enjoying Enterprise more than any prior Star Trek.

1157
01:06:22.739 --> 01:06:24.179
Oh, bless.

1158
01:06:24.239 --> 01:06:25.679
I'm glad someone does that.

1159
01:06:27.360 --> 01:06:30.239
The story really dragged in the middle.

1160
01:06:30.300 --> 01:06:37.619
You're absolutely right I mean, we've watched things, you know, like we watched, what was it?

1161
01:06:37.739 --> 01:06:39.000
I always want to call it.

1162
01:06:39.059 --> 01:06:40.739
Oh, it's called Chosen Realm.

1163
01:06:40.800 --> 01:06:42.719
Remember Chosen Realm in series three?

1164
01:06:42.780 --> 01:06:46.920
It's the one that I compared to the way to Eden.

1165
01:06:46.980 --> 01:06:50.099
The one with the religious people.

1166
01:06:50.159 --> 01:06:51.420
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1167
01:06:51.480 --> 01:06:52.800
It was better than this one.

1168
01:06:52.860 --> 01:06:54.119
Yeah, I thought it was easily better than this.

1169
01:06:54.179 --> 01:07:01.199
I like, you know, like I'm, I like being aboard the Enterprise, and even those characters are sort of really thin.

1170
01:07:01.260 --> 01:07:04.619
Like I just, you know, like I like the crew. like I'd like it.

1171
01:07:04.679 --> 01:07:06.059
In theory, I like it.

1172
01:07:06.119 --> 01:07:08.699
It's not my favourite, but it's still Star Trek.

1173
01:07:08.760 --> 01:07:17.159
I like watching Star Trek and that's why I choose itself and because, you know, no one likes it very much and it might be nice to see why it's good.

1174
01:07:17.219 --> 01:07:21.300
I keep waiting for my blinkers to go, though, and for it to be really great.

1175
01:07:21.420 --> 01:07:27.840
I think the only really great one we've watched was the alternative universe one.

1176
01:07:27.900 --> 01:07:29.460
It's just because they're having fun.

1177
01:07:29.519 --> 01:07:30.599
They're finally having fun.

1178
01:07:30.659 --> 01:07:32.219
Yeah, yeah.

1179
01:07:32.280 --> 01:07:34.800
And it was leaning into original track.

1180
01:07:34.860 --> 01:07:42.360
Jamma says mostly pointless, even when considering this series's attitude to the big picture, one. 5 stars for Project 12.

1181
01:07:42.840 --> 01:07:43.800
Oh, really?

1182
01:07:44.820 --> 01:07:45.599
We're going to love it.

1183
01:07:45.780 --> 01:07:48.900
He didn't like it as much as he liked Bam.

1184
01:07:48.960 --> 01:07:53.880
I just love these schlocky ones, though, because we can just have the best time watching them, you know?

1185
01:07:53.880 --> 01:08:01.320
Well, you know, like everyone hates Ethan Phillips, and I'm not quite sure why, because I think he's really good and doing what he's called on to do.

1186
01:08:01.380 --> 01:08:02.039
Yeah.

1187
01:08:02.099 --> 01:08:05.039
He's fat because he's scaring the kids all the way through.

1188
01:08:09.059 --> 01:08:16.680
I just remember there's one bit that feels like it's come from a truly terrible B movie where Neelix is in the mess hole.

1189
01:08:16.800 --> 01:08:19.140
So he's narrating himself within the story.

1190
01:08:19.260 --> 01:08:20.100
Right.

1191
01:08:20.159 --> 01:08:22.920
And he's like, hello, who's there?

1192
01:08:22.979 --> 01:08:25.439
And you can hear this sort of...

1193
01:08:25.439 --> 01:08:42.420
And he goes out in the corridor. and the door's going, uh, uh, uh, uh, and suddenly all this smoke comes from nowhere and he swings his, he swings his torch around and drew box there in a cat's mask and there's a massive close-up on his face in the music. like, da da da.

1194
01:08:42.479 --> 01:08:44.039
Oh my god.

1195
01:08:44.159 --> 01:08:45.539
That sounds awesome.

1196
01:08:45.659 --> 01:08:49.079
And I was like, look, the director knew this was shit, but it's just something fun.

1197
01:08:49.140 --> 01:08:50.039
That's it.

1198
01:08:50.039 --> 01:08:52.920
If only that happened more often.

1199
01:08:52.979 --> 01:08:55.140
Yes, indeed, indeed.